Pop Culture

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As we all know NBC’s Chris Hanson has allegedly been caught cheating on his wife.  Why is this front page news? The divorce rate is 50% and I think we all know a few people cheating on their spouses.  It is because of what Chris is KNOWN FOR that the media has made this into a story.

Chris has busted quite a few sickos during his time as host of “To Catch a Predator.”  If this story is true then what happened, although morally wrong, happened between two consenting adults.  Chris didn’t show up at a Chuck E Cheese with a roll of quarters in his speedo, a squirt gun and a box of condoms.  We don’t know what’s going on inside his house so I think this is between he and his wife.

Now what about “the other woman?”  Her name is Kristyn Caddel and she is a reporter at the NBC affiliate here in West Palm Beach.  I’ve lived and worked in the media here in West Palm since 2004 and this is the first time I heard her name.  She’s taking quite a beating in the blogs and I almost feel sorry for her.  I say “almost” because she is gonna benefit in the long run.  Jessica Hahn, Rachel Uchitel, OctoMom, Amy Fischer….the list of people who have found fame through pop culture is endless.  Call it sleazy but we, as consumers, have created this monster.

I think about Hansen’s opening line.  Was it “Ever watch TV?  Ever watch Dateline?” What were their trysts like?  Did he tape them with a hidden camera?  What did Kristyn say when that guy with the headset and giant boom microphone came out of the hallway closet?

See how easy it is?  I’m part of the problem instead of part of the solution.  I need to get MY name out there.  I’m off to ring Mary Jo Buttafuoco’s doorbell.

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What the hell has happened to our country?  No one speaks the truth anymore.  Everyone is afraid of offending someone.  How can we effectively communicate with one another when we are not being completely honest?  Opinions are just the thoughts of an individual.  They are similar to feelings.  To that particular individual they CAN’T be wrong.  We don’t have to agree with one another but let’s at least cut the bulls**t and be honest.  I’m gonna list five topics and give you my honest opinion on each.  Perhaps this will get the honesty ball rolling.

1) KIM KARDASHIAN:  She got famous for what she put IN her mouth as opposed to the nonsense that comes out of her mouth.  She’ll never get married to this basketball player and she has a fat ass.  Because of her massive Twitter following she IS influencial.  God help us.

2) PRESIDENT OBAMA:  He’s a great speaker but so was my priest back in Cleveland and my priest would have no business being President.  I wish he’d just admit he talked his way into office and not run in 2012.  Give me a guy with a stuttering problem and a crappy wardrobe as long as he can rescue a business.  America IS a business and it’s a business in BIG trouble.

3)  AFFIRMATIVE ACTION:  This is a joke and it’s racist.  Hire the best person for the job.  It really is that simple.  Imagine applying affirmative action to the NBA.  Does THAT put it in perspective for you?

4)  BI-LINGUAL SOCIETY:  This is crap.  We are in America and you speak English.  Don’t make me push a special button at the ATM to receive instructions in English.  I am a HUGE proponent of tradition.  Speak your native language inside your home but learn english like my great grand parents had to do.

5)  CORPORAL PUNISHMENT:  Smack away.  I didn’t say abuse I said smack.  No one knows what “hot” really is until you put your hand on the stove.  You say “no” to me and I still think it’s a “maybe.”  Pull out the strap or wooden spoon and put that to use and I understand the meaning of the word “no.”

There ya go.  My thoughts may not be popular but at least you know how I feel.  Will YOU be honest today?

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Gay marriage is now legal in the state of New York.  I don’t understand what took so long.  Why was it illegal in the first place?  There is something not quite right with laws put into place that prevent love and happiness.  If two consenting adults want their union recognized what is the big deal and who are the lawmakers to judge.  If they were soooooo bright then they would have refused to issue ME a marriage license for BOTH of my ex-wives.

The religious right will obviously be against this but the religious right has a knack of picking out only the verses in the bible that support THEIR cause.  Read the entire bible…Matthew 7:1  “Judge not, that you be not judged.”  Just because you go the church every Sunday DOESN’T mean you are a good person.  I once worked for someone that was active in their church and there is no doubt in my mind that this person has Satan on their speed dial.

I also say to the gay population “Be careful what you ask for.”  Us breeders have a divorce rate right now of about fifty percent.  Two gay guys fighting over their IKEA furniture and Banana Republic sweater collection is not something one can get over by drinking some sparking water and having a sorbet.  Marriage is tough and it takes a lot of work and a lot of maintenance.  There is enough hate and anger in this world.  I say any chance we have to celebrate “love”, make me part of that toast!

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Today is the second anniversary of the death of Michael Jackson.  Earlier today I posed a question on my facebook page asking my friends how they will remember him.  As you can imagine the results were mixed but everyone had an opinion.

Let’s not kid ourselves, the guy was NOT normal.  Any man other than MJ that would dress like Peter Pan and sit in an oak tree at an amusement park would be taken away by men in white with large butterfly nets and he would then spend a few years in a rubber room weaving baskets out of cooked spaghetti.

Normal people go to the theatre to watch “The Elephant Man.”  They don’t get on eBay, buy his remains and put ’em on display in their rec room so they have something to stare at while their pet chimp is holding the Nintendo controls.

When I go to the doctor I let the nurse take my blood pressure and engage in some small talk before I see the doctor.  I don’t use that time to see if she would be interested in being a portal for my DNA so I could assume custody of our offspring and then cover their faces like they were on the run from Wyatt Earp.

Let’s also not ignore this:  Thirteen number one singles, the greatest selling album of all time, a billion dollars in earnings AFTER his death, and seven more albums YET to come before 2017.  Michael Jackson changed music and he will be remembered as one of the greatest performers of all time.  Maybe we all should embrace our inner crazy a little bit more and see what happens.

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Wiener.  It looks funny and it sounds funny.  Think back to when you were a kid playing in the empty lot with the neighborhood kids.  “You’re a wiener.”  Not exactly a term of endearment.  Now imagine what it must have been like to be a kid going through life with that last name?  Only the Scrotum family could possibly relate to how traumatizing it must have been.

Now if ya make it through your high school graduation without having a mental breakdown I think the name of “wiener” actually BUILDS mental toughness.  You would have developed incredible patience and self-restraint.  Now lets assume you actually become a US Congressman.  Talk about having the last laugh!  “Who’s your wiener NOW???” you would probably shout at your twenty year high school reunion.  All of this makes perfect sense.

Let’s say you pull out your smart phone, switch it to camera, take a picture of your aforementioned beef by-product, and start sending it off into cyber-space to females you don’t know.  WHAT????   I know.  What the hell was he thinking?  I can’t figure it out either.

People I KNOW don’t wanna see mine.  I don’t wanna see mine.  “The David” is one of the greatest sculptures of all time and even Michelangelo didn’t want David to show his to anyone.  There is a zipper on every pair of men’s pants to remind  male morons one thing “People DON”T wanna see it!”  This is not something people easily forget.  Something that seems so trivial actually has life-long repercussions.  Do ya think anyone really feels comfortable sitting in front of Pee-Wee Herman at a movie theatre?  So guys, wear a fanny pack, keep that comb-over, wear a shirt with a bunch of fish on it but PLEASE…….put that thing away!

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Show me a mistake and I will show ya an opportunity to learn something.  We all stumble and fall during life but if you can better yourself after a momentary setback then the negative is actually a positive.  Arnold has been all over the news lately and his rep is definitely taking a beating.  As outsiders we can look at this and learn three things right away:

1)  KNOW WHEN TO PULL OUT:  I have been in career situations where I thought “I know this isn’t the best situation for me but it will get better.”  I’ve learned that things don’t and won’t self correct themselves.  Don’t rely on others, rely on yourself.  If your gut is telling you it isn’t right then look for another challenge.

2)  DON’T GRAB IT JUST BECAUSE IT’S IN FRONT OF YOU:  A lot of time when we face a challenge we look for the “quick fix” just because its convenient.  More often than not you are just putting a band-aid where you actually need a tourniquet.  Finding a solution or the right situation takes time but it’s well worth the wait.

3)  IF YOU DECIDE TO SCREW SOMEONE BE PREPARED FOR THE PAYBACK:  You’re gonna get stabbed in the back a few times in life.  The big test if how you react.  Getting “even” is a natural feeling but it’s not gonna get you anywhere.  Don’t lower yourself to “that” level.  Take your lumps and move on.  In the long run you will be the winner. 

Remember…always find that positive in the negative but don’t ask me to explain Arnold’s maid.  If I were a radio sales rep I’d be approaching him to endorse some laser vision correction!

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Social media is a here to stay and it’s a necessary marketing tool for you and your business.  I’m a facebook junkie.  I always aim to engage my friends in some sort of discussion thread or entertainment element.   As a public service I offer the following that I urge all to STOP DOING ON FACEBOOK!

 1)  NO MORE PICTURES OF FOOD YOU ARE ABOUT TO EAT:  Being able to flag down a waiter, decide on an entre’, order it, then have it delivered to your table is hardly a magic trick.  Put down your iPhone, grab your fork Copperfield, and eat your freaking dinner.

2)  PUT A SHIRT ON AND GET AWAY FROM THE MIRROR:  Congratulations on shaving your chest and your twelve pack.  All that hard work in the gym has rewarded you with being alone on a Saturday night with your shirt off in front of your bathroom mirror and your cell phone in your hand.  Now go to your room, close the blinds and your door, and do what we know you need to do to yourself.

3)  STOP LOOKING LIKE A DUCK AND SMILE LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING:  I’m not sure what makes the females think they are being seductive when they make this face.  It looks more like the sudden onset of bell’s palsy.  Unless you floss with a rope, open up your mouth and show me those pearly whites!.

Social Media is a great thing.  Follow me on Twitter HERE.  Be my facebook friend HERE.  That’s all for today.  I need to let everyone on Four Square know that I just walked into Home Depot!!