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Christmas Eve was always special for me as a kid. Family would show up and we would have a traditional Polish “Poor Man’s Meal.” Basically it was a very dry fish (sole I believe) served with pierogis and lots of sausage and kraut. Who was I kidding. I was and only child and I just wanted everyone to eat their shitty food so we could go upstairs and open up the damn presents. Things changed forever on that cold and blustery Christmas Eve in 1985.

This was my first Christmas Eve away from home and my family. I got into radio in the summer of 1985 and that changed the way I would celebrate the holidays. More often than not I was away from family. Christmas Eve 1985 found me in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I was two hundred and eighty-five miles away from my childhood home in Strongsville, Ohio. There was a terrible snowstorm that day and I was very sick. I had a fever and was alone for the first time on Christmas Eve. I called my mother to wish her well on the dinner and celebration she was about to have.

I got my first dog when I was in second grade. She was a collie. I named her “Lady.” Lady was my companion from the second grade on. Being an only child Lady was the closest thing to a sibling I would ever have. I was on the phone with mother that Christmas Eve when I heard the doorbell ring in the background. Mom explained she had to go as company was beginning to arrive. Something was not right. Something was missing. My dog would ALWAYS bark when someone rang the door bell. I stopped my mother before she could hang up and I asked in desperation, “What the hell is going on? Why is Lady not barking???” The pause seemed endless. Mother then took a deep breath, hesitated and said “Ya know when ya left in August and said I would know when it was time……..” There was a momentary lack of reason that filled my head. Suddenly it was clear to me…..Mother had killed my dog.

To this very day Mother will deny this ever happened. That’s what parents do as they get older. They develop selective memory and like to rewrite history. That was a long time ago yet it seems like it was yesterday. When your door bell rings this Christmas Eve and I hear your dog barking I can be rest assured you have never met my Mother.

Make sure to tune into Danny’s weekly podcast DANNYLAND! Click HERE to listen and share.

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There is a lot of pressure on folks that are single around the holidays. Once you are over the age of thirty and ya still show up to the family gathering without a partner Uncle Fred and Aunt Ester will be talking about you as soon as ya leave to return home with a tin of cookies. 2020 might be different since we all have seemed to adopt this solitude mentality but I have to admit the decision to not date has it’s benefits.

I was always co-dependent. I had a lot of girlfriends. I had five fiancés. Obviously I didn’t have a problem with commitment. My friends called me “The Diamond Man.” I actually married two of them. Meeting women was never a problem; staying in a relationship was. My last relationship ended October 23, 2011. I remember the Harley ride home when I said I was gonna make a change. I was going to go at least one year without going on a date. I was going to concentrate on fixing myself. Funny thing happened during that year. I liked it so much that I have never turned back.

In the past nine years I have made numerous improvements in my life. I have focused on my therapy and have addressed my narcissism. I have become an excellent cook and I have found strength in my faith. I have returned to my place of birth in preparation for the completion of the Circle of Life. Pretty impressive, huh? Those are the type of changes that sell a lot of books so let me share you some of the other benefits of being a single guy. If you see a strawberry daiquiri on your bar bill ya know it’s not yours. You’ll never find yourself sitting on the couch on a Saturday afternoon with a bowl of Haagen Das watching a Lori Laughlin movie. Don’t laugh….that painful memory still triggers a form of PTSMD. I actually will suffer a slight convulsion when I ponder what “My List” on NETFLIX would look like if I had a female partner.

I don’t have to worry what I am wearing. I actually have one t-shirt for each day of the week. I don’t even bother putting clothes away I just hang it in the laundry room and get dressed in front of the ironing board. The closest I got to having someone hit on my girl was when a drunk guy spilled his Corona on my hand. The bartender solved the problem with a towel and a free drink. That never happened before…..I’m used to the police showing up and having to arrange for a ride home. You’ll find THOSE stories in the book I’ll publish once Mother is at peace. Sure it gets lonely at times. I sometimes get jealous seeing a couple together laughing and having a good time. I find it ironic that I finally have become a person that has something to offer yet here I am alone. That’s usually when a moment of levity happens. I’ll call a buddy to come over and watch the Browns game and he’ll say he would but he promised his wife he’d put up the Christmas lights before taking her to the apple farm. That’s when I pause, take it all in and exhale. It’s the end of 2020. Truly the perfect time to be alone. 🦾🦾🦾

Make sure to listen to Danny’s weekly podcast DANNYLAND!! Click HERE to listen and share with others.

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I’m fifty-six years old and enjoy being on social media. I have a twitter account, am on Facebook, do a weekly podcast and of course I have my blog that I thank you so much for reading. I mention my age for a reason. I’m not sure of what exactly happens on Facebook but all of a sudden some of my adult friends have been acting like a bad scene from “Beverly Hills 90210.” I understand that these times are tumultuous and people are on edge but why would anyone get angry over the opinion of someone else? If you are confident of YOUR belief then shouldn’t you feel sorry for the person of different opinion?

If you are familiar with Facebook then you are aware of how to drop “friends.” You highlight their profile, click on the mouse a few times and they are now eliminated. It’s quite similar to getting a ride home from Aaron Hernandez. Facebook teaches you a lot about who your “true” friends are. One weekend, as a kid, my father was in the basement saying “fuck” a lot. That meant he was working on the washing machine. Dad liked to give life advice while he was doing this so I made my way into the utility room. Within five minutes Dad told me; “You watch…later in life you will be able to count your true friends on one hand.” Then he lost his grip on the ratchet and slammed his hand against the agitator and yelled “Son of a Bitch!!!”

A few days ago I was looking at my friends list on Facebook and noticed more than a handful of people had “dropped me as a friend.” I was taken aback at first. I used to work in the radio business for close to thirty years. Some of these folks were colleagues and people that tried to HIRE me. I paused…took a breath…..and thought back to what my dad told me when I was a kid. Then I laughed and said “Son of a Bitch!!”

Make sure to check out Danny’s weekly podcast DANNYLAND!!! New episodes every Wednesday. Click HERE to listen!

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facebookI am a chronic facebooker.  I think it’s a great social media tool to stay in touch with friends, make new ones, and learn from others if you are open to a different opinion than yours.

Opinions can’t be wrong….they are just the way someone feels but the person that posts their opinion believes it to be true.  For instance:  I believe we never landed on the moon and the Shuttle missions were mainly used to deploy military spy and defense satellites.  A lot of people then would join the thread and call me crazy, paranoid, anti-American and probably an animal hater.  It’s just my opinion….no need to dink the hater-ade (although I AM right).

Some other random thoughts on facebook; people that use a picture of their pet or an avatar freak me out.  Checking into Wal-Mart is not a huge accomplishment.  If your kid is having a birthday then it’s obligatory to post a pic of your kid with cake on his face.  When someone switches their status to “in a relationship” I always wonder how long it will last until they change it to “single.”  There is no reason to poke anyone.  If I wanted to play “Candy Crush” I would already be playing…your invite doesn’t sway me.  I’ll look past the “toes in the sand” and the “I have a drink with a lot of fruit in it” because that is just to big of a battle to fight.

I could be wrong….but it’s just my opinion.

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Raw meatSunday mornings, as a kid, I would have to wash both family cars.  I would always listen to Casey Kasem on my “boom-box” counting down the forty most popular songs in America.  As I write this the former host of AT 40  lies gravely ill and his second wife has been accused of throwing raw meat at her step-daughter Kerri.  Let me run that by you one more time……Jean Kasem was launching raw meat at Casey’s daughter, Kerri.

Jean Kasem doesn’t deny this but who would think of pelting a family member with ground chuck?  I’d understand a leg of lamb or a smoked herring but raw meat?  Have you checked the price of raw meat in stores these days?  Perhaps one of Dad’s old 45’s from ELO would make more sense.  Casey Kasem is bedridden with lung and bladder infections and allegedly has a form of dementia—in a way that may be a blessing because he won’t remember his nutball second wife hurling hamburger at his daughter.

So what does Jean Casem have to say about these allegations?  She told NBC News:  “In the name of King David, I threw a piece of raw meat into the street in exchange for my husband to the wild rabid dogs”  I’m not kidding.  I’m not well versed in the words of King David and his alleged endorsement of flogging someone with flank steak but in my ten minutes of trying to google a connection the closest I came was in the book of Samuel where King David would roast raw meat instead of eating boiled meat.   The only thing that bit of information does for me is clearly the meat in question couldn’t be corned beef.

Now…..on with the countdown.

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I knew what I wanted to do when I was thirteen years old growing up just outside of Cleveland, Ohio.  I used to listen to Pete Franklin on WWWE talking sports EVERY night.  Then I listened to those silly FM air-personalities in the morning and they seemed to be having soooo much fun.  The one thing I never liked on the radio was music.  I took up time for what I wanted to do.  I wanted to talk to people, laugh, make people react, learn something, teach something, share something but most of all INVOLVE the listeners.  Sadly….today we call that facebook.

I don’t care about the song of the day, the high-low cash game, the phrase that pays, the secret sound, “Horriblescopes” or “Dirt-Alerts.”  I have enough drama in my life so why do I need to know which Real Housewife is in re-hab, which one got arrested, which one got a black eye, how big her engagement ring is or what she looks like in South Beach in a bikini?  It’s embarrassing to say….but somewhere I actually grew up.  I’m not ashamed to admit I like that “Call Me Maybe” song.  I don’t know who sings it.  I don’t care.  I just know that her mp3 is inside my smart phone and I can listen to it when I want to.

I worry….I worry a lot.  I used to be a real jerk…maybe I still am.  I never really paid attention in school because I just wanted to make people laugh.  Now I’m obsessed with knowledge, I have become a news junkie and I really try to think of others before myself (I’ll admit that I’m not really fond of that).  I love sports bars for two reasons….I love sports and I love beer.  I ride a Harley, have a few crazy tattoos and I really believe the government does not have our best interests in mind.  I was a selfish boyfriend/husband and now that I have my act together I couldn’t care less about dating.  I’ve made more mistakes in life than you have but I also know that has provided me with incredible stories.

Many nice people have offered me jobs in great cities playing ten songs an hour,  I’d be able to make great money but would it be fair to them or more importantly to who I am and what I want to do to take that job?  Integrity has become important to me.  I can’t lie to them and I can’t lie to myself.  All these “experts” will say ‘People wanna hear music.’  Really?  I think they are wrong. People want to communicate.  They want to be heard.  People want to contribute.  How much music are you getting on facebook?  How many songs are played on Twitter?  I’m not down on radio at all.  I see an INCREDIBLE opportunity.  Radio needs to ENGAGE the listener.  React in some way.  Laugh, agree, disagree, get mad,think back to a memory, relate, learn something….I’m rambling now but I guess this is more like one of those word documents ya get in a holiday card every year that tells ya what that status of someone’s family is.  This is where I came from, this is what I am about,and this is where I am determined to go.   Thanks for reading. 🙂

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So my mother has been spending a lot of time at my house as I figure out what to do with the next stage of my life and I find our conversations quite amusing as we really don’t communicate at all.  We were in the grocery store the other day and she asked me “Do you like apples?”  I said “Mom, ya know me.  The only fruit I really like is watermelon.”  I think my mother has tried to get me to eat apples at least a hundred times in my lifetime so I just laughed it off.

The very next day she is in the kitchen cutting up a salad for me while I am in the office next to the kitchen on the computer.  Our conversation went like this:  MOM:  “Ya know what’s really good in salad?  Apples.”  ME: “Mom….I don’t like apples.”  MOM:  “Ya know I could get some and cut them up in your salad.”  ME:  “I don’t like apples.”  MOM:  “I saw some at a really good price the other day.  Next time I’m at the store I’ll get some.”  ME:  Mom…I like watermelon.  I don’t like apples.”  MOM:  Well watermelon is not in season right now so I’ll get some apples.”  ME:  They’ll go to waste.  Again….I don’t like apples.”  MOM:  “Really?  I thought you just didn’t like biting into them (not kidding).”  ME:  I HATE APPLES!  FOR THE LAST TIME, APPLES SUCK, I GAG, I PUKE, I ABSOLUTELY HATE APPLES!!!  MOM: “Geez…..I’m just trying to feed you.”

I’m actually convinced that there is a school that mothers go to AFTER their kids leave the house so they have the ability to drive us nuts.  Hang on a sec…..Mom asking me a question.  “Do you like pears?”  ARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

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I really miss being on the radio but it has been an invaluable learning experience for me.  I have had the opportunity to listen to a LOT of morning radio across the country.  Some good but most of it wasn’t good at all.  As someone who has “listened” to a ton of radio recently I’d like to point out three things that make me bail on a morning show (commercials are a given but a good tease will get ya through the break as long as it’s not a six-minute stop set).

1)  LAUGHING WHEN IT’S NOT FUNNY:  I love to laugh but some of these shows seem like  there’s a gas leak in the studio.  Imagine being out with your friends and laughing at EVERYTHING they say:  Friend:  “I think I’ll have the eggplant”  YOU:  AHHHHHH…you said eggplant.  It doesn’t have a shell so how can it be an egg?AHHHHHHHHHHH!”  Awkward.  Not real.

2)  NOT ENGAGING ME:  Entertain or inform me.  If you are talking to just hear yourself talk you are wasting the listener’s time.  I can get that without commercial interruption at the DMV.  Let’s take a simple topic like traffic tickets.  If you got one on the way to work I don’t care.  If you got OUT of one I’m a bit interested HOW that happened.  If you got out of it by telling the cop you are a producer for gay porn and you think his mustache is a turn on, I’m engaged AND entertained.  “I’ll tell ya why I’m walking funny, next!” is the tease into the break.

3)  DOES IT INVOLVE THE “BIG THREE:”  There are three categories that will grab someone’s interest:  a)  their home, b)  their heart and c)  their bank account.  If you start talking about any of these three,  people will show some interest.  Get them involved, make them laugh and/or  learn something then they will STAY interested.

Those are my three.  What makes YOU shut off morning radio?  In the meantime I’ll be on a busy street corner making a banana split in my pants hoping to get some TV coverage.