Christmas Eve was always special for me as a kid. Family would show up and we would have a traditional Polish “Poor Man’s Meal.” Basically it was a very dry fish (sole I believe) served with pierogis and lots of sausage and kraut. Who was I kidding. I was and only child and I just wanted everyone to eat their shitty food so we could go upstairs and open up the damn presents. Things changed forever on that cold and blustery Christmas Eve in 1985.

This was my first Christmas Eve away from home and my family. I got into radio in the summer of 1985 and that changed the way I would celebrate the holidays. More often than not I was away from family. Christmas Eve 1985 found me in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I was two hundred and eighty-five miles away from my childhood home in Strongsville, Ohio. There was a terrible snowstorm that day and I was very sick. I had a fever and was alone for the first time on Christmas Eve. I called my mother to wish her well on the dinner and celebration she was about to have.

I got my first dog when I was in second grade. She was a collie. I named her “Lady.” Lady was my companion from the second grade on. Being an only child Lady was the closest thing to a sibling I would ever have. I was on the phone with mother that Christmas Eve when I heard the doorbell ring in the background. Mom explained she had to go as company was beginning to arrive. Something was not right. Something was missing. My dog would ALWAYS bark when someone rang the door bell. I stopped my mother before she could hang up and I asked in desperation, “What the hell is going on? Why is Lady not barking???” The pause seemed endless. Mother then took a deep breath, hesitated and said “Ya know when ya left in August and said I would know when it was time……..” There was a momentary lack of reason that filled my head. Suddenly it was clear to me…..Mother had killed my dog.

To this very day Mother will deny this ever happened. That’s what parents do as they get older. They develop selective memory and like to rewrite history. That was a long time ago yet it seems like it was yesterday. When your door bell rings this Christmas Eve and I hear your dog barking I can be rest assured you have never met my Mother.

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Years ago, when I was still doing morning radio, I made the observation that where you sat on the bus when you are going to school is pretty indicative of where you will go in life. There’s a lot of pressure going through the mind of a child when they get on the bus and stake out their territory. It’s not as bad if you are towards the beginning of the route because you can play it safe and sit in the middle but if you are towards the end of the route you don’t have as many options. Lord help the child that is forced to walk towards the back of the bus. This is where pure evil reigns.

Everyone knows that if you want to have a cigarette or your nose broken then you venture towards the back of the bus. Nothing good happens at the back of the bus. This is the Compton of school transportation. If this was real life the only way to insure personal safety is to obtain your concealed carry permit. These beasts in the back of the bus smoke their parents Lucky Strikes and run with scissors. They fear nothing. Your existence is nothing but a punching bag to those that reside in the back of the bus. Twenty years later these children will be bouncers at nightclubs and strippers that hang upside down on a brass pole. The criminals of tomorrow reside in the back of school buses today.

Let’s address the front of the bus. This is the destination for future Conservatives. It also is a great location for those in marching band or the orchestra. If you took your violin home to practice Handel’s Messiah the last thing you want to do is take that instrument towards the back of the bus. The nineteen year old eighth grade burnout in the back seat will whittle that thing down into a water bong before ya blink. The front of the bus is also a great place to sit if you are not able to climb the rope in gym class but that’s another story for a different day.

So what happens if you are the parents of a kid that looks like the picture above? I have to be honest with you: Putting this child on a bus is putting his personal safety at risk. Even the kid with the bad skin and viola case wants to kick his ass. You love your child, You want them to be safe. You must to the right thing as a parent and DRIVE them to school. They may get a wedgie or two in the school bathroom from the nineteen year old eighth grader but they will graduate college in three years. These are the future CEO’s and Wall Street Brokers. Today’s nerd is tomorrow’s millionaire. He gets the last laugh when he shows up at the class reunion driving a Lamborghini and a Instagram model on his arm. 2020 has been a taxing and trying year. The future is filled with questions and doubt. In 2021 do the right thing for your child. Do the right thing for the future of America. Drive your kid to school!!

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I have always said that life starts to get shitty right after ya find out the truth about Santa Claus. From that point on your trust has been shattered. There is no way you will be prepared for the upcoming trials and tribulations of the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. Just to make sure you will be on the defensive for the rest of your life you will soon discover birds and bees and a freaking stork have nothing to do with the reason you have become a global footprint on this planet. Let’s get back to that fatal morning of December 1973 when I was in the third grade and Mother summoned me to the kitchen ten minutes before the school bus was to arrive.

Mom seemed to be serious. I went to the kitchen and she told me to sit down. Immediately I began to wonder what I had done wrong. There was no way I was ever going to be properly prepared for what she said next. “I wanted to tell you something before you heard it from Brian Kuhn or someone on the bus,” she said. “You know how ever year at Christmas Santa brings ya gifts? Well that’s actually Mom and Dad. Any questions??” Really??? Any questions??? I have a few. The first one would be “Who are you and what the hell did you just say??” My world was destroyed. Suddenly I questioned everything. All of a sudden the making a wish and blowing out the candles on your birthday cake thing seemed like a bunch of shit to me as well. I was speechless. I was stunned. I could not move and all Mom would say is “Hurry up…..don’t miss the bus.”

I was just eight years old and I felt like a sparring partner of Mike Tyson. I remember being in a daze as I found my way to the bus stop that cold December morning. The bus stopped, I heard the air brakes, the door opened and I climbed aboard. I looked to find my usual seat in the middle of the bus and I locked eyes with Brian Kuhn. For a moment we were one. We said so much without saying anything at all. Finally I exhaled and sat down. After what seemed like an eternity Brian Kuhn finally said “I see your Mother beat me to it.” I paused….smiled…turned towards him and said, “Yes. Yes she did.” It’s never been the same since that cold November morning in 1973. 😪😪😪

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Joe Biden stepped out of his shower and over his dog and out of the basement yesterday to ask America to wear a mask during his first one hundred days in office. I’m sorry. Who are you again?? Are you the same ass munch that called Trump supporters “CHUMPS” on October 26, 2020? Now you care about me?? Now you want to be my friend?? I’m sorry but you didn’t say “Foo-chi Sez.” 🤣🤣🤣

This is the eight hundred pound gorilla in the room that the stupid media has not addressed for some reason; There are 74 million Americans that do NOT trust Sleepy Foot and Camel Toe. We want NOTHING to do with these people. Just because Sleepy Foot rings the bell doesn’t mean us free thinkers are gonna bark for a Scooby-Snack. I’m not saying that The Chinese Virus does not exist. I lost a fifty-two year old friend on Thanksgiving morning. A thirty-year old friend got The Chinese Virus and was in ICU in Florida but has since been discharged. The virus exists. I’m not convinced we really know what it is. Dr. Foo-chi has changed his mind numerous times. CDC and WHO have flip-flopped as well. How does Sleepy Foot think that we all will agree to wear a mask for a hundred days???

There is a limit as to what you can take from me and I think many Patriots share this feeling. NO ONE SHALL TAKE MY FREE WILL!!! A mandate, a curfew or a suggestion is NOT a law. You will NOT be able to legally enforce it. I don’t have a need to be outside or around the public. This is a luxury the majority of Patriots do not have. The left has taken enough and they are coming for more. They aren’t even trying to hide it. Don’t get me wrong. I hate seeing people suffer and die alone but it insults me beyond the depth of my soul for those that use “fear” to evoke the sacrifice of free will. We all will be forced to make a decision within the next few months if we ant to receive the vaccine for The Chinese Virus. Make sure that is YOUR decision. It is much better to die on your feet than it would be to live on your knees.

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I grew up in Strongsville, Ohio. At the end of my street, about four hundred feet from my driveway, there was a Sohio gas station. In 1977 I started to hang out there. Times at the gas station were much different back then. You would pull up to the pump, a bell rings inside and the “gas station guy” would come out and fill up your tank. When no one was wanting gas the “gas station guy” would work on a car that was in need of service in the garage. I was thirteen. I thought this type of atmosphere was great. I soon discovered the evils that permeated the gas station.

They had a cigarette machine. I had a bunch of quarters in my piggy bank so I started buying packs of Vantage. I didn’t know ya had to inhale so I could have experienced the same thing by just being inside aa burning building. They had stacks of porn. I thought it was cool but in hindsight it’s a bit disturbing to imagine a man in his twenties passing the time at his job by reading Penthouse forum. They had weed. That’s right. Smoked a joint before I ever tasted alcohol. Thirty-eight bucks for an ounce of Columbian Gold. At this point in my life I sincerely thought I landed on Fantasy Island.

Mom put a stop to me going to the gas station when she caught me with some H-100’s. H-100’s are equal to a quarter stick of dynamite. I bought a gross of them for forty bucks at where else????? The gas station!!! For FUN us kids would go into the woods and put H-100’s in freaking trees and we would just laugh as a ten year old maple eviserated into a pile of mulch. Who needs a video game when you can enjoy the great outdoors while blowing shit up?? Gas stations sure are different today. You can get a freaking latte’, some lottery tickets, a ham sandwich and a snow brush except you pump your own gas. They now refer to this place as a “convenience store.” I will always remember what it used to be before it went through rehab. It was the portal to temptation. It was and always will be…..the GAS STATION!!!!

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It’s been an odd year. That may be the greatest understatement of all time. We are being told by government officials and scientists to not gather in large groups this Thanksgiving because of the ongoing pandemic of Covid 19. I moved back to the Cleveland area over two years ago to be near my family but I have spent MANY Thanksgivings alone when I was in the wild and wacky world of morning radio and it’s really not that bad.

You don’t have to shower and it isn’t necessary to wear pants. Think about some of your greatest memories. If all of these memories happened while you were wearing pants….then you are NOT enjoying life the way it was meant to be. Life gets to be fun when you remove your pants.

No one kicks you under the table because you are drinking too much wine and all the booze in the kitchen belongs to YOU! There is nothing more frustrating than watching a fat ass relative opening the $100 bottle of Dead Arm wine you brought and drinking it out of a plastic cup.

Best of all…..you can pass out on the recliner any time ya want. I can’t tell ya the number of times I ate shitty, dry turkey that I washed down with a generous amount of wine in the box and ended up snoring and drooling on a stranger’s couch only to get shaken back to reality by a slap on my head from a female friend. I’m not gonna miss that freakshow! There is no reason to social distance when you are thankful for being alone. Take you pants off and have some fun!! Happy Thanksgiving 2020!!! 🦾🦾🦾

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I’m fifty-six years old. I’m just sitting back and watching the shit show that is 2020. I actually feel that I am very blessed to be in the position that I am currently in during this tumultuous time. It’s because I really don’t give a shit what people think about me anymore. It’s a wonderful feeling to be in this position. Please don’t think for one moment that I have stopped caring. That is far from the truth. I am at a point in my life where I have looked “behind the curtain” an am confident I figured out what is important in life.

I wasted a lot of time in my career focusing on what others thought of me. I compromised my beliefs in order to be that “team player.” If I truly had confidence in myself I would have followed my instincts. Don’t get me wrong; telling people what they want to hear has it’s benefits. You climb the corporate ladder quickly and are rewarded financially but you have sacrificed your integrity and you will never be happy.

Eventually the sacrifice of your integrity becomes too much to handle. You enjoy the two hundred dollar Friday night dinners and the one-hundred and fifty dollar jeans you purchase impulsively but something is missing in your life that cannot be filled financially. You don’t feel complete. You feel like a cartoon character that is on stage in the theatrics of life. I enjoyed my time in the world of radio when it was relevant but I was really playing a character. I wasn’t totally open and honest with myself so how could I expect to be open and honest with others? I had great parents. They raised me well. I needed to reexamine the basics. What did they stress that I missed out on?

It didn’t take me long to figure it out. It was “honesty.” I am not alone in this mistake. A lot of us make it in our journey in life. Being honest is not easy. People will not like what you have to say. People like to be assured. They do not like to be challenged. Do NOT make the mistake that I made. Get used to being honest from the beginning and not telling people what they want to hear. It will not be easy but you will eventually build respect and integrity. Funny thing about always telling the truth is you never have to think back to try and remember what ya said. Thank you for your time and for sharing with others. 🦾🦾🦾

Don’t miss Danny’s weekly podcast DANNYLAND! Click HERE to listen!

I’m not a doctor. I actually failed tenth grade Chemistry. Our teacher was named Fen Lewis and I couldn’t understand a damn thing she was saying. Because of our lack of connection through the English language I almost blew up Strongsville High School trying to learn about fractional crystallization. That’s a story for a different time as some people want you to believe that we all need to wear a mask, stay in our house and never go to church again. I’m not saying that there isn’t a Chinese Plague but we all need to use something that can’t be taught in a classroom or from a book; it’s called common sense.

I live in Willoughby, Ohio which is twenty miles east of downtown Cleveland. On Thursday our Governor will decide if he will close bars, restaurants and gyms. Bars are currently open but they must have last call by 10PM and be empty by 11PM. The Plague continues to rise in our state and Governor Harry Potter thinks the lockdown of bars, restaurants and gyms will stop it. Here’s where common sense should come in but it doesn’t since the Governor doesn’t have any. The bars, restaurant workers and owners I know have been abiding by the rules. They have invested thousands of dollars on cleaning supplies and team members that do NOTHING except focus on keeping their location sanitized and spotless. I’m in a high risk group and I feel safer there more than I do at the grocery store or at Walgreens getting my prescription filled. I actually think closing the bars early is the WORST thing you can do.

People love to socialize. People do not like to be told what to do. If you are standing in a bar in Ohio you must wear a mask. When you sit down you can remove it. Evidently scientists have determined the virus will not attack anyone in a chair. Perhaps we should make it mandatory to carry around a bar stool? Just because you give last call at 10PM it doesn’t mean the party is over. House parties are booming and no one is wearing a face mask while they slam dance to hair bands in someone’s basement at an after hours party that starts at 10:30 PM. You can’t control what happens in the privacy of someone’s home so why not keep them outside in a controlled environment? The conditions at any bar or restaurant right now are much better than the bacteria that can found growing in the kitchen sink of neighbor Nick’s after party that looks like a petri dish. We can make sure people are social distancing and still keep the local economy going. Isn’t it time to stop punishing those that are NOT breaking the laws? Like I said at the beginning of this blog….I’m not a scientist…..but I DO have common sense.

Make sure to listen to Danny’s weekly podcast DANNYLAND!!!! Click HERE to listen. 🦾🦾🦾