There is a lot of pressure on folks that are single around the holidays. Once you are over the age of thirty and ya still show up to the family gathering without a partner Uncle Fred and Aunt Ester will be talking about you as soon as ya leave to return home with a tin of cookies. 2020 might be different since we all have seemed to adopt this solitude mentality but I have to admit the decision to not date has it’s benefits.
I was always co-dependent. I had a lot of girlfriends. I had five fiancés. Obviously I didn’t have a problem with commitment. My friends called me “The Diamond Man.” I actually married two of them. Meeting women was never a problem; staying in a relationship was. My last relationship ended October 23, 2011. I remember the Harley ride home when I said I was gonna make a change. I was going to go at least one year without going on a date. I was going to concentrate on fixing myself. Funny thing happened during that year. I liked it so much that I have never turned back.
In the past nine years I have made numerous improvements in my life. I have focused on my therapy and have addressed my narcissism. I have become an excellent cook and I have found strength in my faith. I have returned to my place of birth in preparation for the completion of the Circle of Life. Pretty impressive, huh? Those are the type of changes that sell a lot of books so let me share you some of the other benefits of being a single guy. If you see a strawberry daiquiri on your bar bill ya know it’s not yours. You’ll never find yourself sitting on the couch on a Saturday afternoon with a bowl of Haagen Das watching a Lori Laughlin movie. Don’t laugh….that painful memory still triggers a form of PTSMD. I actually will suffer a slight convulsion when I ponder what “My List” on NETFLIX would look like if I had a female partner.
I don’t have to worry what I am wearing. I actually have one t-shirt for each day of the week. I don’t even bother putting clothes away I just hang it in the laundry room and get dressed in front of the ironing board. The closest I got to having someone hit on my girl was when a drunk guy spilled his Corona on my hand. The bartender solved the problem with a towel and a free drink. That never happened before…..I’m used to the police showing up and having to arrange for a ride home. You’ll find THOSE stories in the book I’ll publish once Mother is at peace. Sure it gets lonely at times. I sometimes get jealous seeing a couple together laughing and having a good time. I find it ironic that I finally have become a person that has something to offer yet here I am alone. That’s usually when a moment of levity happens. I’ll call a buddy to come over and watch the Browns game and he’ll say he would but he promised his wife he’d put up the Christmas lights before taking her to the apple farm. That’s when I pause, take it all in and exhale. It’s the end of 2020. Truly the perfect time to be alone. 🦾🦾🦾
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I am not an attractive man. I have a great mind and sense of humor but that’s where it all ends. I will never be on the cover of Men’s Health. Having said that I have been very lucky with dating many attractive and intelligent women…..I have also made some terrible decisions….but I put myself in those situations.
Let me share with you the magical evening I was hit on by another man. I was at my typical dive bar near my house filled with drug dealers and hookers. They used to have illegal slot machines in there that paid off in cash. I got to know the regulars. I became a regular….again not my best moment. I got to know this black guy that would work at Red Lobster and then ride his bike to the bar and have a few drinks. He was openly gay but if ya know me….ya know I only care about good and bad.
One night I sat down at the bar next to my gay black friend. Conversation seemed normal but then he said something that I was not prepared for. First of all ya gotta understand my physical make up. I am 6’3 290 pounds and I usually wear a Harley bandana, sunglasses and a vest without sleeves. It’s not, by any means, a pretty sight. My young, black, gay friend stares at the top of the bar and remarks “You have great hands.” I was stunned. I thought I was hearing things. My mind was able to tell my soul that he wanted to stick his fine ebony tool in something of my person. My brain just short wired. I looked at him, still caught of guard and only was able to mutter, “Thanks!”
Thanks????? What the hell was that? I’m a smart guy that always is on alert to anything and anyone and I just had a man hit on me for the first time in my life and all I could say was “Thanks?” You say that to someone who holds the door open at the 7-11 on a Saturday morning while customers are lined up to buy lotto tickets and vapes.
I then excused myself and went to the jukebox. I played Ga Ga’s “Born This Way” and we danced to last call drinking Pina Colodas and planning a weekend trip to a Ricky Martin concert. Eighty percent of this story is true. If you knew me in West Palm then it should be easy to figure out. Thanks for reading my friends.
Danny finally says what needs to be said about self checkouts. Why is he disappointed in Seth Rogen? One of the most unselfish acts someone can do on a first date and so much more. Just click below. Thanks!!
Danny pushes Harley 2 miles. He ends up calling his mother for a ride. Things Danny thinks everyone should ask on the first date. Why is Lorena Bobbitt in the news? This podcast is truly a great example of what it’s like to live in DANNYLAND!
Hookers, blow, fake viagra and $75K in cash. Jenny McCarthy mad at the big changes at Playboy Magazine. Two “A” stars you would never think would skinny-dip together did. Democratic Presidential candidate Jim Webb is still crying about the debate and Danny drills him again. Last Podcast of the week with a new show open that has removed all the profanity. What has happened to Danny? Just click and listen.
My last relationship ended 10-23-11. I told myself that day I was gonna go a year without dating. That time line is now over three years and counting and I really kind of like it. I used to be very co-dependant. I couldn’t even keep up with who I was with or who would be next. I didn’t really “know me” and, quite frankly, I was wasting the time of a lot of really kind and intelligent women. I needed to find out about me. What makes me tick? What are my faults? How can I improve?
I’m an only child. Left the house at 18 and got into radio full-time at 21. I have lived in Wichita, Grand Rapids, Oklahoma City, Kansas City, Cleveland and now West Palm Beach. I say what’s on my mind and not necessarily what people wanna hear. I have a 4 bedroom 2 ½ bath house but have not slept in my bed in over three years. I sleep on the couch and the TV has to be on 24 hours a day. The only other rooms I use are the kitchen and my office that has three computers. I have five televisions in the house. I am a news and sports junkie. The only alcohol I drink anymore is beer and that only happens twice a week at the most. I have a Harley Road King Classic that I have invested 42K on. I don’t own a suit. I think my mother is the greatest woman I have ever met–although she does know how to drive me nuts. As I figure out what to do with the rest of my life I exist in my boxers and my boxers alone.
My psychiatrist tells me I am “the most honest patient he has ever met.” He has been in practice for 28 years. I’m pretty sure that’s a compliment. I’m a Libertarian but I don’t like to argue about politics. Inform yourself about the issues and THEN go and vote. I have zero tolerance for stupid voters…actually you can expand that to “stupid people.” I’m not sure about what religion is “right” but I know there is a Supreme Being. I don’t mind saying “I really don’t like Pat Robertson.” I don’t have any children and am amazed and impressed by those that do and do it well. We all make mistakes but it’s truly the way we ever learn.
So back to why I don’t date…..it has forced me to take a look at myself. I have learned and changed so much in the past three years I only wish I did it sooner….like maybe when I was ten but I was too involved in climbing trees and playing baseball.