Thanksgiving

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It’s been an odd year. That may be the greatest understatement of all time. We are being told by government officials and scientists to not gather in large groups this Thanksgiving because of the ongoing pandemic of Covid 19. I moved back to the Cleveland area over two years ago to be near my family but I have spent MANY Thanksgivings alone when I was in the wild and wacky world of morning radio and it’s really not that bad.

You don’t have to shower and it isn’t necessary to wear pants. Think about some of your greatest memories. If all of these memories happened while you were wearing pants….then you are NOT enjoying life the way it was meant to be. Life gets to be fun when you remove your pants.

No one kicks you under the table because you are drinking too much wine and all the booze in the kitchen belongs to YOU! There is nothing more frustrating than watching a fat ass relative opening the $100 bottle of Dead Arm wine you brought and drinking it out of a plastic cup.

Best of all…..you can pass out on the recliner any time ya want. I can’t tell ya the number of times I ate shitty, dry turkey that I washed down with a generous amount of wine in the box and ended up snoring and drooling on a stranger’s couch only to get shaken back to reality by a slap on my head from a female friend. I’m not gonna miss that freakshow! There is no reason to social distance when you are thankful for being alone. Take you pants off and have some fun!! Happy Thanksgiving 2020!!! 🦾🦾🦾

Be sure to listen to Danny’s weekly podcast DANNYLAND!!! ⚡⚡⚡

Click HERE to listen and share with others!!

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I ask a lot of questions.  Perhaps because I am confused about a lot of things.  On my weekly podcast we do a segment called “Three Things I don’t understand”   It could easily be twenty as I wander around periodically in my slippers and sweats in Wal-Mart (sadly I fit in).

Here are five things that escaped our editing meeting this week but I believe are worth discussing:

  • AT THE END OF THE DAY: I think it would be lawful to allow people to punch those that say this.  “At the end of the day” I am running to my car and leaving the nuthouse commonly called “work.”  If you have to wait until the “end of the day” to make progress in your business then it’s gonna fail and your manager should be a mime on the streets of New York doing the “caught in a box” routine.

 

  • PEOPLE THAT SAY “ME, PERSONALLY: Isn’t that an oxy-moron?  Like “Holy War?” For once I would like to hear someone say “Me, as my second personality Diana, that chain smokes cigarettes and enjoys a stuffed raccoon as a garnish to my Thanksgiving turkey,” That would put me at ease.

 

  • SUPER VORTEX RADAR: Radar on TV stations is getting out of control.  Get rid of the fancy names and tell me…..follow closely on this….if it will rain or snow.  That’s it.  Job done.  I don’t need a satellite picture because I am not living in the space station.

 

  • RECYCLING: I recycle but I wonder if I am pissing up a drape.   The recycle truck grabs my stuff and then runs away.  Where do they go?  Do they sort all this shit again, turn a crank and kick out a front door of a Prism?  Or do they throw them all in the dump, laugh uncontrollably and exhale second-hand smoke into innocent bystanders.

 

  • ISLAM EXPERTS ON TV:   When I see these people I think one thing:    Who makes a living knowing what bad people may do?  They scare me.  It appears they have some inside information and if they are in training learning to fly it would not surprise me.  One more thing:  Never trust an Islam Expert that doesn’t have a turban on his head, a stick cane, and lives in a cave.   That is not fear, that is credibility.

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turkey

Danny shares a Thanksgiving memory….explains what his mother hates about his podcast.  You’ll hear the MOST irritating female voice EVER and a spider infestation you won’t believe plus so much more.  Click below to listen.  First podcast with new microphone….I think it sounds better.  Feedback?

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Redskins Name FootballI’m not politically correct.  I’m 100% Polish and I LOVE a good Pollock joke.  I’m the last guy you would refer to as a racist and that’s probably why I don’t see what the big deal is about the Washington Redskin’s logo.

Some have said to me “How would you feel if a team were to be called “The Pollocks?”  I’d love it.   I can see people at a Pollock game yelling “What type of dumb play was that?”  I’d laugh and say “What do you expect from a team called The Pollocks?”

Again, my level of sensitivity to this subject is VERY low but I will tell ya what pisses me off:  Thanksgiving and Columbus Day.  Columbus was a very bad man.  In 1500, the Crown had him removed as governor, arrested, and transported in chains to Spain yet we have a day honoring him?

Thanksgiving?  The Pilgrims landed here, befriended the Native Americans and then took their land.  For this we have a four-day weekend and a giant parade.  Santa Claus is at the end of the parade so he must be after your casinos.

I completely understand those that take issue with Thanksgiving and Columbus Day but making such an issue of something on the side of a football helmet or a baseball cap?  I just don’t see it but would love to hear your comments.  Have a great weekend.