I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. My mind works in a different way than most people. I was both confused and appalled at the way the stupid media covered the recent car accident involving Tiger Woods. Let me first state that Tiger Woods is an incredible golfer. He has totally changed the way people play and watch the sport. Let me also state what needs to be said that I have yet to hear mentioned: Tiger Woods is a shitty driver and a very selfish person. Don’t act shocked by me telling you the truth. Stop being a sheep and listening to what the irresponsible media wants you to believe and consume. I feel bad that he was in a car accident but he’s not really a victim. He was actually putting himself above mankind by breaking the law, driving recklessly and endangering the lives of others. Why on earth would you be dumb enough to stop and kiss the ring?
I’ll be honest….I will NEVER be the golfer that Tiger Woods has been. I also will never be the shitty driver that Tiger Woods is. Dude can hit a golf ball around a bunch of trees yet he can’t keep a damn SUV on the road. Why does Tiger have to be in a hurry? Why does he ever have to worry about being late? He’s Tiger Woods…people will wait and he knows that yet it still isn’t good enough. This guy is such a narcissist that he doesn’t care about the law or anyone else’s safety. What a great role model. What a responsible father. What an asshole!! What if he hit another car and killed someone? Would everyone be “tweeting” and wishing him a speedy recovery? Sadly this world is so messed up right now that would not surprise me.
Be careful what the media tells you. They are in the business of making money and sometimes what makes ya “feel good” is not really the truth. Tiger is not the victim. He put himself in this situation. Cheer for the athlete when he is playing his sport but I would pull over to the side of the road if I ever saw him on the highway.
It’s been about a week now since the Biden Administration has taken office. Anyone that knows me is aware of the fact that I don’t care for Slow Joe and am even less fond of Camel Toe. I am a Libertarian so I am used to not getting my way. I have decided to claim DANNYLAND as a sovereign nation. A sovereign nation of one!!
I should have thought about this years ago. It makes a lot of sense. I am an only child so I really don’t play well with others. I never was a fan of compromise and am used to getting my way. As a sovereign nation of one I never have to justify some of my bizarre decisions in life. I don’t own a vehicle I only ride Harleys so the Presidential motorcade during the winter months is dependent upon Uber. If I find out the Chinese has something to do with Uber I won’t hesitate to make the executive decision to switch to Lyft. I haven’t dated anyone since October 23, 2011 so we’ll probably have to outsource the Christmas Decorations. I’m confident we will have plenty of illegal aliens to hire once they storm the border later this month. “Pedro with your nose so bright…want to cross the border tonight? 😁😁😁
You probably won’t approve of the fact that I will do a lot of business with Amazon. According to my account I have ordered ninety items over the past three months. Many will say I am not doing enough to save local mom and pop stores. I’m on a fixed income. If I can order a package of heavy duty scrub sponges on a Monday and have it show up on my front porch in less than 36 hours I’m gonna do it. I paid thirteen dollars for Next Day Delivery with the USPS and three weeks later I am still looking for my delivery of gourmet pickles and wild rice. Do they know who they are messing with?? Don’t piss me off and make write a letter.
Many people are wondering if there is a need for a curfew in DANNYLAND. The answer is “no” because there is no need to enforce one. I don’t burn the wick at both ends anymore. I can’t even remember how much I forgot back in my days of excess. What’s the purpose of a curfew when I am taking melatonin at 6PM while sipping on a cup of herb tea? If I don’t have my compression socks on before World News Tonight then I know I have pushed my limit.
So enjoy the next four years. I will be in my glass house with broken windows throwing large amounts of stones at the Democrats….unless it’s after 6PM….that’s when I like to catch up on my “stories.” 🌟🌟🌟
Make sure to listen to Danny’s weekly podcast DANNYLAND!! 🦾🦾🦾
Happy New Year friends. I am sure that many of you have heard the end of the year obligatory phrase: 2021 HAS to get better.” I hate to burst your bubble of “positivity” because I am a realist. The riots in DC on January is just a preview of the time in the future. Sleepy Joe is asking for a “time to heal.” This is the same ass cake that called Republicans “thugs” less than a week before the election. In my weekly podcast, DANNYLAND, I make the comparison of Sleepy Joe asking for healing and unity to the guy that comes home to his wife five hours late, lipstick on the collar, smelling of stripper perfume and is surprised when she won’t give him a hummer.
With the Inauguration just hours away there is unprecedented security in Washington DC. The government is like a broken toy in the aisle of your local K-mart. They are NEVER properly prepared for ANYTHING they do yet they have activated close to thirty thousand troops from the National Guard?? Just what AREN’T they telling us? The 800 pound gorilla in the room is that 74 million Americans are still pissed off and believe the election suffered at the hands of fraud. There is no healing. There is no unity. There is no forgiveness, That is a VERY big problem.
Democrats referred to social terrorist takeovers of cities like Seattle a “Summer of Love.” Forty-Seven people were killed in summer riots fueled by Black Lives Matter and Antifa. How is anyone surprised at the ugly situation in Washington DC last week? Hello ya silly sheep…where’s the news that half the country does not like you? This isn’t a sporting event where everyone meets at mid-field after the game, holds hands and singing Kumbaya. This is real life. Democrats are riding on that Magic Carpet of illusion that embraces unification. Let me be the one to put that genie back in the bottle…..2021 is not gonna be fun.
Make sure to listen to Danny’s weekly podcast DANNYLAND!! 🦾🦾🦾
Christmas Eve was always special for me as a kid. Family would show up and we would have a traditional Polish “Poor Man’s Meal.” Basically it was a very dry fish (sole I believe) served with pierogis and lots of sausage and kraut. Who was I kidding. I was and only child and I just wanted everyone to eat their shitty food so we could go upstairs and open up the damn presents. Things changed forever on that cold and blustery Christmas Eve in 1985.
This was my first Christmas Eve away from home and my family. I got into radio in the summer of 1985 and that changed the way I would celebrate the holidays. More often than not I was away from family. Christmas Eve 1985 found me in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I was two hundred and eighty-five miles away from my childhood home in Strongsville, Ohio. There was a terrible snowstorm that day and I was very sick. I had a fever and was alone for the first time on Christmas Eve. I called my mother to wish her well on the dinner and celebration she was about to have.
I got my first dog when I was in second grade. She was a collie. I named her “Lady.” Lady was my companion from the second grade on. Being an only child Lady was the closest thing to a sibling I would ever have. I was on the phone with mother that Christmas Eve when I heard the doorbell ring in the background. Mom explained she had to go as company was beginning to arrive. Something was not right. Something was missing. My dog would ALWAYS bark when someone rang the door bell. I stopped my mother before she could hang up and I asked in desperation, “What the hell is going on? Why is Lady not barking???” The pause seemed endless. Mother then took a deep breath, hesitated and said “Ya know when ya left in August and said I would know when it was time……..” There was a momentary lack of reason that filled my head. Suddenly it was clear to me…..Mother had killed my dog.
To this very day Mother will deny this ever happened. That’s what parents do as they get older. They develop selective memory and like to rewrite history. That was a long time ago yet it seems like it was yesterday. When your door bell rings this Christmas Eve and I hear your dog barking I can be rest assured you have never met my Mother.
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Years ago, when I was still doing morning radio, I made the observation that where you sat on the bus when you are going to school is pretty indicative of where you will go in life. There’s a lot of pressure going through the mind of a child when they get on the bus and stake out their territory. It’s not as bad if you are towards the beginning of the route because you can play it safe and sit in the middle but if you are towards the end of the route you don’t have as many options. Lord help the child that is forced to walk towards the back of the bus. This is where pure evil reigns.
Everyone knows that if you want to have a cigarette or your nose broken then you venture towards the back of the bus. Nothing good happens at the back of the bus. This is the Compton of school transportation. If this was real life the only way to insure personal safety is to obtain your concealed carry permit. These beasts in the back of the bus smoke their parents Lucky Strikes and run with scissors. They fear nothing. Your existence is nothing but a punching bag to those that reside in the back of the bus. Twenty years later these children will be bouncers at nightclubs and strippers that hang upside down on a brass pole. The criminals of tomorrow reside in the back of school buses today.
Let’s address the front of the bus. This is the destination for future Conservatives. It also is a great location for those in marching band or the orchestra. If you took your violin home to practice Handel’s Messiah the last thing you want to do is take that instrument towards the back of the bus. The nineteen year old eighth grade burnout in the back seat will whittle that thing down into a water bong before ya blink. The front of the bus is also a great place to sit if you are not able to climb the rope in gym class but that’s another story for a different day.
So what happens if you are the parents of a kid that looks like the picture above? I have to be honest with you: Putting this child on a bus is putting his personal safety at risk. Even the kid with the bad skin and viola case wants to kick his ass. You love your child, You want them to be safe. You must to the right thing as a parent and DRIVE them to school. They may get a wedgie or two in the school bathroom from the nineteen year old eighth grader but they will graduate college in three years. These are the future CEO’s and Wall Street Brokers. Today’s nerd is tomorrow’s millionaire. He gets the last laugh when he shows up at the class reunion driving a Lamborghini and a Instagram model on his arm. 2020 has been a taxing and trying year. The future is filled with questions and doubt. In 2021 do the right thing for your child. Do the right thing for the future of America. Drive your kid to school!!
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The image above is the logo of my home town baseball team the Cleveland Indians. I should actually refer to the logo in past tense as it was announced this morning that the Cleveland Indians will be changing their name to become part of this “woke culture.” I remember Dad taking me to opening day in 1973. There were 73 thousand fans in old Municipal Stadium as my Indians beat the Detroit Tigers 2-1 behind the pitching of Gaylord Perry. I had a wonderful time that chilly day in April. Now the “Woke Culture” wants to eliminate history.
So where did this nickname of “Indians” come from? It obviously must emanate from a dark and devilish racist community!!!! Sorry to disappoint you but the name was chosen in honor of Louis Francis Sockalexis, a Cleveland professional ballplayer who was one of the first Native Americans in the game’s history. So the team honored a real person and they designed a logo of what is a simple “cartoon character.” In 2018 the Indians organization actually eliminated the Chief Wahoo logo. That’s right. Ownership actually caved to the pressure from the left. How would you feel if someone bitched about Linus being bullied because he carries a blanket? Most people would respond with “That’s ridiculous. Linus is not real.” Ah-ha!!!!! Neither is Chief Wahoo.
The controversy over the name has forced many to get behind their keyboard and google the name of Louis Francis Sockalexis. The irony here is after you obtain the information you realize this guy surely isn’t a saint being persecuted. Mr. Sockalexis was a character. He was a great athlete but had numerous problems off the field due to his drinking problem. The Indians were known as the Cleveland Spiders back then and they actually believed in Sockalexis so much that they bailed him out of a South Bend jail where he was being held for going on a drunken rage and destroying a bar called Pop Corn Jenie. I’m sure these are the types of memories that the Sockalexis family doesn’t bring up in a chat room.
When do we stop this nonsense? It seems what this culture needs is to come together yet what we are watching and experiencing is continued division. Why are they trying to make us all similar? The foundation of the Constitution protects those differences yet the woke culture wants to destroy them? That should tell you where the root of the problem actually is. Enjoy that three dollar bottle of water the left is selling you….I’ll be in my backyard drinking out of the hose.
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There is a lot of pressure on folks that are single around the holidays. Once you are over the age of thirty and ya still show up to the family gathering without a partner Uncle Fred and Aunt Ester will be talking about you as soon as ya leave to return home with a tin of cookies. 2020 might be different since we all have seemed to adopt this solitude mentality but I have to admit the decision to not date has it’s benefits.
I was always co-dependent. I had a lot of girlfriends. I had five fiancés. Obviously I didn’t have a problem with commitment. My friends called me “The Diamond Man.” I actually married two of them. Meeting women was never a problem; staying in a relationship was. My last relationship ended October 23, 2011. I remember the Harley ride home when I said I was gonna make a change. I was going to go at least one year without going on a date. I was going to concentrate on fixing myself. Funny thing happened during that year. I liked it so much that I have never turned back.
In the past nine years I have made numerous improvements in my life. I have focused on my therapy and have addressed my narcissism. I have become an excellent cook and I have found strength in my faith. I have returned to my place of birth in preparation for the completion of the Circle of Life. Pretty impressive, huh? Those are the type of changes that sell a lot of books so let me share you some of the other benefits of being a single guy. If you see a strawberry daiquiri on your bar bill ya know it’s not yours. You’ll never find yourself sitting on the couch on a Saturday afternoon with a bowl of Haagen Das watching a Lori Laughlin movie. Don’t laugh….that painful memory still triggers a form of PTSMD. I actually will suffer a slight convulsion when I ponder what “My List” on NETFLIX would look like if I had a female partner.
I don’t have to worry what I am wearing. I actually have one t-shirt for each day of the week. I don’t even bother putting clothes away I just hang it in the laundry room and get dressed in front of the ironing board. The closest I got to having someone hit on my girl was when a drunk guy spilled his Corona on my hand. The bartender solved the problem with a towel and a free drink. That never happened before…..I’m used to the police showing up and having to arrange for a ride home. You’ll find THOSE stories in the book I’ll publish once Mother is at peace. Sure it gets lonely at times. I sometimes get jealous seeing a couple together laughing and having a good time. I find it ironic that I finally have become a person that has something to offer yet here I am alone. That’s usually when a moment of levity happens. I’ll call a buddy to come over and watch the Browns game and he’ll say he would but he promised his wife he’d put up the Christmas lights before taking her to the apple farm. That’s when I pause, take it all in and exhale. It’s the end of 2020. Truly the perfect time to be alone. 🦾🦾🦾
Make sure to listen to Danny’s weekly podcast DANNYLAND!! Click HERE to listen and share with others.
I have always said that life starts to get shitty right after ya find out the truth about Santa Claus. From that point on your trust has been shattered. There is no way you will be prepared for the upcoming trials and tribulations of the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. Just to make sure you will be on the defensive for the rest of your life you will soon discover birds and bees and a freaking stork have nothing to do with the reason you have become a global footprint on this planet. Let’s get back to that fatal morning of December 1973 when I was in the third grade and Mother summoned me to the kitchen ten minutes before the school bus was to arrive.
Mom seemed to be serious. I went to the kitchen and she told me to sit down. Immediately I began to wonder what I had done wrong. There was no way I was ever going to be properly prepared for what she said next. “I wanted to tell you something before you heard it from Brian Kuhn or someone on the bus,” she said. “You know how ever year at Christmas Santa brings ya gifts? Well that’s actually Mom and Dad. Any questions??” Really??? Any questions??? I have a few. The first one would be “Who are you and what the hell did you just say??” My world was destroyed. Suddenly I questioned everything. All of a sudden the making a wish and blowing out the candles on your birthday cake thing seemed like a bunch of shit to me as well. I was speechless. I was stunned. I could not move and all Mom would say is “Hurry up…..don’t miss the bus.”
I was just eight years old and I felt like a sparring partner of Mike Tyson. I remember being in a daze as I found my way to the bus stop that cold December morning. The bus stopped, I heard the air brakes, the door opened and I climbed aboard. I looked to find my usual seat in the middle of the bus and I locked eyes with Brian Kuhn. For a moment we were one. We said so much without saying anything at all. Finally I exhaled and sat down. After what seemed like an eternity Brian Kuhn finally said “I see your Mother beat me to it.” I paused….smiled…turned towards him and said, “Yes. Yes she did.” It’s never been the same since that cold November morning in 1973. 😪😪😪
Make sure to listen to Danny’s weekly podcast DANNYLAND! Click HERE to listen and share with others.
Joe Biden stepped out of his shower and over his dog and out of the basement yesterday to ask America to wear a mask during his first one hundred days in office. I’m sorry. Who are you again?? Are you the same ass munch that called Trump supporters “CHUMPS” on October 26, 2020? Now you care about me?? Now you want to be my friend?? I’m sorry but you didn’t say “Foo-chi Sez.” 🤣🤣🤣
This is the eight hundred pound gorilla in the room that the stupid media has not addressed for some reason; There are 74 million Americans that do NOT trust Sleepy Foot and Camel Toe. We want NOTHING to do with these people. Just because Sleepy Foot rings the bell doesn’t mean us free thinkers are gonna bark for a Scooby-Snack. I’m not saying that The Chinese Virus does not exist. I lost a fifty-two year old friend on Thanksgiving morning. A thirty-year old friend got The Chinese Virus and was in ICU in Florida but has since been discharged. The virus exists. I’m not convinced we really know what it is. Dr. Foo-chi has changed his mind numerous times. CDC and WHO have flip-flopped as well. How does Sleepy Foot think that we all will agree to wear a mask for a hundred days???
There is a limit as to what you can take from me and I think many Patriots share this feeling. NO ONE SHALL TAKE MY FREE WILL!!! A mandate, a curfew or a suggestion is NOT a law. You will NOT be able to legally enforce it. I don’t have a need to be outside or around the public. This is a luxury the majority of Patriots do not have. The left has taken enough and they are coming for more. They aren’t even trying to hide it. Don’t get me wrong. I hate seeing people suffer and die alone but it insults me beyond the depth of my soul for those that use “fear” to evoke the sacrifice of free will. We all will be forced to make a decision within the next few months if we ant to receive the vaccine for The Chinese Virus. Make sure that is YOUR decision. It is much better to die on your feet than it would be to live on your knees.
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