comedy

on

Remember fourteen days to flatten the curve? That was almost two and half years ago and we are still wearing masks that don’t even work. People are finally coming to their senses and are fighting back. The Canadian Convoy just may be the inciting incident to spark the revolution. We were misled. We were lied to. Some gave up their freedom. Many cowered in fear. They under estimated the silent majority and they kicked the bear. Now they realize the game is over and the mandates are dropping like frozen iguanas. For health reasons I did not get the vaccine. I’m so far behind right now I’d need thirty-five shots a stiff wind and a bowl of Wheaties to get caught up.

Just about every medical expert admits that cloth masks do nothing to stop the spread of the virus. N95 masks are effective. They say that now but that could change in a week. That’s the one common denominator about this virus. The rules are constantly changing. Imagine if we were playing Monopoly. Three times around the board and the next person to land on Free Parking wins the game. Obviously that’s not how the game is played but that’s pretty much how we ALL have been played. I still can’t go to see my doctor without wearing a mask. I have a cloth mask. It’s ineffective but as long as I have it covering my face they are happy. Do you realize how insane that is. It’s like we all are Pavlov’s dog and Dr. Fauci rings a bell and we all put on a face diaper.

The mask mandates and vaccine mandates have to stop. All of us, regardless of political beliefs, have been lied to and taken advantage of. This happens a lot of times in relationships. They promise things will get better. They say things will change. They ask for your trust. You keep getting burned until you have finally had enough. You realize you were taken advantage of and lied to. You then make the best decision for YOU and you end the relationship. That’s pretty much where a lot of us are at right now. The government lied to us. They didn’t help us they hurt us. It’s a toxic relationship and it’s time for it to end.

Make sure to listen to Danny’s weekly podcast DANNYLAND!! 🎙️🎙️🎙️🎙️

on

Remember when ya didn’t have to worry about offending someone when speaking? I still live in that world and I have lost many of my “woke friends” that think I’m insensitive and caustic. Comedian Dave Chapelle is under a lot of criticism for his recent special “The Closer” on Netflix. Transgender folks are demanding an apology. I have not seen much of Dave Chapelle’s work so I obviously was drawn to this story. I needed to see what the controversy is all about. I watched “The Closer” and I can’t seem to find what the controversy is all about.

I grew up listening and enjoying the comedy of Sam Kinison, Richard Pryor and George Carlin. They made fun of themselves and others as well. Comedy isn’t mean to be kind. Sometimes it can be very brutal but it’s comedy. This isn’t someone promoting a public agenda. These are entertainers making astute observations. The transgender population is very hyper sensitive about the observations made by Dave Chapelle about their chosen lifestyle. Three words: Get over it. If you look like the Brawny man and insist on wearing a plaid skirt, size thirteen pumps, a blouse and a wig then ya better be prepared for people to make fun of you. You chose to make yourself the center of attention so quit your complaining for what you created. Everyone is a victim. Everyone is misunderstood. I’m tired of it and I’m not playing this silly game.

I’m part of the “I don’t give a shit” mentality. I will say what I want about who I want when I want. I am not a mean person. I want the best for everyone. I don’t like to create problems I like to solve them. I will NOT, however, give up my freedom of speech in fear of offending someone. If you are offended by what I say or believe then that is your problem to deal with. Why do I need to take a sensitivity class because I refuse to kiss the ring of compliance? These are terrible times. Border crisis, pandemic, inflation, vaccine mandates, out of control crime, etc. If we ever needed to laugh the time is now. Usually things get better with the passage of time but during my life it seems we hit a peak in the late 80’s. It all started with political correctness. Instead of putting a stop to that nonsense we let it grow in the petri dish until we became “woke.” America has turned into a six year old crying on the playground. No one respects you and everyone feels sorry for you. That’s not my country. Time to take off the sundress and frilly frocks and grow a pair.

Danny’s controversial podcast DANNYLAND! will relaunch soon

on

It’s been about a week now since the Biden Administration has taken office. Anyone that knows me is aware of the fact that I don’t care for Slow Joe and am even less fond of Camel Toe. I am a Libertarian so I am used to not getting my way. I have decided to claim DANNYLAND as a sovereign nation. A sovereign nation of one!!

I should have thought about this years ago. It makes a lot of sense. I am an only child so I really don’t play well with others. I never was a fan of compromise and am used to getting my way. As a sovereign nation of one I never have to justify some of my bizarre decisions in life. I don’t own a vehicle I only ride Harleys so the Presidential motorcade during the winter months is dependent upon Uber. If I find out the Chinese has something to do with Uber I won’t hesitate to make the executive decision to switch to Lyft. I haven’t dated anyone since October 23, 2011 so we’ll probably have to outsource the Christmas Decorations. I’m confident we will have plenty of illegal aliens to hire once they storm the border later this month. “Pedro with your nose so bright…want to cross the border tonight? 😁😁😁

You probably won’t approve of the fact that I will do a lot of business with Amazon. According to my account I have ordered ninety items over the past three months. Many will say I am not doing enough to save local mom and pop stores. I’m on a fixed income. If I can order a package of heavy duty scrub sponges on a Monday and have it show up on my front porch in less than 36 hours I’m gonna do it. I paid thirteen dollars for Next Day Delivery with the USPS and three weeks later I am still looking for my delivery of gourmet pickles and wild rice. Do they know who they are messing with?? Don’t piss me off and make write a letter.

Many people are wondering if there is a need for a curfew in DANNYLAND. The answer is “no” because there is no need to enforce one. I don’t burn the wick at both ends anymore. I can’t even remember how much I forgot back in my days of excess. What’s the purpose of a curfew when I am taking melatonin at 6PM while sipping on a cup of herb tea? If I don’t have my compression socks on before World News Tonight then I know I have pushed my limit.

So enjoy the next four years. I will be in my glass house with broken windows throwing large amounts of stones at the Democrats….unless it’s after 6PM….that’s when I like to catch up on my “stories.” 🌟🌟🌟

Make sure to listen to Danny’s weekly podcast DANNYLAND!! 🦾🦾🦾

on

It’s been an odd year. That may be the greatest understatement of all time. We are being told by government officials and scientists to not gather in large groups this Thanksgiving because of the ongoing pandemic of Covid 19. I moved back to the Cleveland area over two years ago to be near my family but I have spent MANY Thanksgivings alone when I was in the wild and wacky world of morning radio and it’s really not that bad.

You don’t have to shower and it isn’t necessary to wear pants. Think about some of your greatest memories. If all of these memories happened while you were wearing pants….then you are NOT enjoying life the way it was meant to be. Life gets to be fun when you remove your pants.

No one kicks you under the table because you are drinking too much wine and all the booze in the kitchen belongs to YOU! There is nothing more frustrating than watching a fat ass relative opening the $100 bottle of Dead Arm wine you brought and drinking it out of a plastic cup.

Best of all…..you can pass out on the recliner any time ya want. I can’t tell ya the number of times I ate shitty, dry turkey that I washed down with a generous amount of wine in the box and ended up snoring and drooling on a stranger’s couch only to get shaken back to reality by a slap on my head from a female friend. I’m not gonna miss that freakshow! There is no reason to social distance when you are thankful for being alone. Take you pants off and have some fun!! Happy Thanksgiving 2020!!! 🦾🦾🦾

Be sure to listen to Danny’s weekly podcast DANNYLAND!!! ⚡⚡⚡

Click HERE to listen and share with others!!

on

These are turbulent times my friends. I took a moment to shut off the news and reflect upon my journey in life. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. I have become much more aware of that fact as life continues to pass on by. I was an only child and I was a handful. I challenged everything someone would say….a trait that continues today. I had wonderful parents…thankfully Mom is still alive today. Times were different back then. There was no such thing as “time out.” Each of my parents had their preferred punishment weapon. Dad liked the belt and Mom knew how to work that wooden spoon.

I still shudder at the sound I would hear from the kitchen when I would push Mom too far. The opening of the drawer beneath the microwave…then the sound of her fumbling through the kitchen utensils….suddenly the noise stops…..she has found her weapon of choice….THE WOODEN SPOON!!!

She spins like Wyatt Earp at the OK Corral….we make eye contact….she raises her weapon (which oddly enough was being used to stir spaghetti sauce just twelve hours ago) and makes her approach to “teach me a lesson.” I immediately run towards the circular dining room table. I use the table like a blocking sled to stay away from her boisterous advance. Suddenly I trip in my “stocking feet.” Mom straddles me like a LA cop. All of a sudden I feel like “Rodney King Light.” Good thing I ran Mom around the dining room table to tire her out. She only beat me for about ten minutes. Then she stood up and said “I’m gonna reheat yesterday’s spaghetti…want some?” Compared to 2020….that seems pretty normal to me.

Make sure to check out Danny’s weekly podcast DANNYLAND!!! New episodes every Wednesday. Click HERE to listen!

on

Times are very strange right now. Go in the basement. Wear a mask. Bars not open. Bars open. Fifty-percent on restaurants…you know what I mean. I’m trying to move my mother from West Palm Beach to Cleveland to be with family. The Chinese Virus has caused delays. Mother has some health issues. My Mother is my rock….she’s my very best friend…I am lost without her and not ashamed to admit it. Mom is all alone….going through the Chinese Virus lockdown and health issues all by herself. As I write this mother is waiting for the results of a biopsy she had on Friday. This battle has been going on for awhile. The results of a bad x-ray were not expected.

My mother has never played the victim. She has never blinked an eye or shed a tear. Her only concern has been for the health of me..her only child. It’s the the ultimate sacrifice of unselfishness. Do not judge courage by appearance or stature. I’m 6’2 and 265 pounds and my mother is bent over at 4’11 but stands much taller than me in soul and character. If you believe in the next level, which I do, concentrate on the soul. You can go to the gym to work out your body yet the soul is eternal and needs the same attention. Make every day and moment count.

on

Last Friday was very emotional for anyone that has a heart and a conscious. It was the nineteenth anniversary of the attack on the World Trade Center by Islamic terrorists. One of my most vivid memories of that time was actually September 12, 2001 and beyond. No one cared about what color your skin was or what God you worshiped. There was one race….the human race. People were flying American flags outside their cars. Today there are those that choose to burn and stomp on that very same flag. The police and fire departments across the nation were hailed as heroes. Today they are randomly attacked by members of Black Live Matter and Antifa. I’m tired of the disrespect and rioting and vandalism. Our country has been taken over from within by various social terrorist organizations. There comes a time when people have had enough and they start to fight back to protect their family and property. That time is now.

It’s not going to get any better until we get tough. This past weekend two Los Angeles police officers were shot in the face for doing nothing but protecting citizens of their city. These thugs and animals then proceeded to block the entry of the emergency vehicles to the local hospital while yelling “We hope they die.” This is not “protesting.” It’s the deepest level of barbaric behavior that has no place in a civilized society.

How many more buildings will be set on fire? How many more stores will be destroyed? How many more members of the Police will be injured during these senseless criminal activities? What we allow we teach. It’s time for this parade of fools to end. Let’s take back our country. Let’s really show others that we never forgot!!

on

In these times of conflict and disagreement I am confident we can all agree on one thing: We’ve never seen a shit show like this in our entire lives. I remember when I was in college and I was a “rebel” and anyone over the age of thirty was disconnected with reality. The truth is I was young, immature, uneducated, drank shitty beer, had a 32 inch waist and a full head of hair. What I didn’t have was a man friend that had to wear a bra and put electrical tape over his freaking nipples. You are not “expressing yourself.” You are an attention whore that wants people to stare at you while wondering “Are those really tits???”

This is ANTIFA. They are bad people that don’t bathe, refuse to work and enjoy the smell of urine. Everyone has the right to peacefully assemble. The key word here is “peacefully.” It’s not a peaceful situation when you are walking down the middle of the road with your other friends that smell like urine and you’re shooting fireworks at cars. Cars go down the street. They have for years. If you do not desire to be struck by the aforementioned vehicles then I would suggest moving your man friends in brassieres to the sidewalk. Make sure not to step on any dirty syringes that your social terrorist brothers and sisters may have dropped when launching a brick into a Saks and then taking a Gucci bag while screaming something about oppression.

Let me continue this honesty parade by addressing ANTIFA/BLM: you are NOT victims. You are criminals and an embarrassment to your family. There’s a reason why you are 25 and still not sitting with the grown ups on Thanksgiving. Here’s some advice from DANNYLAND: Put down the clove cigarette and the green hair dye and pick up a job application. Teenagers ride skateboards. Adults drive cars. Why not try being home before the sun goes down? That’s what people do that don’t like tear gas. You sleep on a freaking mattress….you don’t set it on fire and kick it down a street while trying to balance your backpack.

I could go on but Hillary Clinton just showed up wearing latex gloves and wanting to go for a “quiet walk in the park.” I’ll be putting electrical tape on my nipples and looking for my will.

on

Comment Line Edit Two

Hopefully you had a great Mother’s Day.  You will hear from a woman that had her salon shut down by the Feds.  MORE reasons we nee less government.  You will hear from Tara Reade who accuses Joe Biden of sexual assault. 🦾🦾🦾 The FBI ruined the life of Michael Flynn–are we next?  A GREAT call off the comment line.  A NFL player and his brother get caught naked in bed with a woman and more!! ⚡⚡⚡

 

IN THE NEXT WEEK I WILL STOP POSTING PODCASTS TO THIS PAGE.  I PLAN ON REPLACING THE SOUNDCLOUD TAB WITH A PODCAST TAB.  NEW EPISODES OF DANNYLAND ARE POSTED EVERY MONDAY AND FRIDAY MORNINGS.  THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT.