parents

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I have not posted in over a month. I am in the middle of a huge transition in my life. I turned fifty-seven at the end of May and my eighty-one year-old mother relocated from West Palm Beach after thirty-four years to move in with me for the summer until she decides on what her next move will be. I’m an only child without any kids. I have severe OCD, am a neat freak and a germaphobe and am very much set in my ways. Mother is cut from a similar mold so this is a very interesting social experiment. It will be two weeks on Wednesday that she has arrived and in fourteen days I have experienced memories that will last forever.

Mom doesn’t know ANYTHING about Willoughby, Ohio. She might as well have relocated to Yemen. I only ride Harleys so Mom has to drive her car while I navigate. Don’t assume that an eighty-one year old will slow down at a railroad crossing. I found out the hard way. Think back to the opening of “Dukes of Hazzard.” That was me in a car Mom was driving less than a half a mile from my house. My lower lip is still bleeding from the landing. If there was a video game where the goal was to drive into every chuckhole on the street then Mother would be a World Champion. I won’t even share with you the fear I experience when she is wandering through a parking lot looking for that “perfect” space.” When it takes five minutes to get to the store it should not take you TEN minutes to park the car. This is all new to me as I have been away from Mother for three years. Time changes. People change. We all must prepare to adapt.

Random Picture of Old Lady With Beer. NOT my Mom!

Mom has always been there for me. I have been the focus of her life. I traveled the country doing morning radio while she relocated to West Palm Beach in 1987 in a company move. She left everything behind. I started having health issues in 2011. I had a heart block. I flat-lined in the ER for75 seconds. I was in a coma for six days. Mother was there when I woke up. I had a pacemaker installed. I’ve had a heart Catherization. I’ve been in AFib. I’ve had an ablation. I overcame addiction. I am NOT the victim. A lot of this could have been prevented but we can only control the present. We have the ability to change. We don’t have to repeat our mistakes. I am at a very interesting point in my life. My purpose is to be there for Mother like she has always been there for me. This is HER time. What can I do to make it easier for her? She HAS to feel out of her element. She abandoned everything she knew for thirty-four years. She has to develop a new routine. It can’t be easy.

Here is the lesson I have learned; Money, stature, your job, success and possessions mean NOTHING. They do NOT define who you are. When it is our time to go to the next level no one will be saying “I wish I worked more!!” There is NO loyalty in business. It’s best to be your own boss. I pray for patience and understanding. It’s a day by day process with Mother. I have learned so much in the past two weeks about her and about myself. It’s gonna be an interesting summer. Wish me luck. I know I am gonna need it.

Danny’s widely popular podcast DANNYLAND! will return soon!

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I booked my Chinese Virus vaccine today and I am NOT happy. I don’t trust or like our government and I think Dr. Fauci is circus clown looking for his floppy shoes. I have nothing against people that choose to get the vaccine but it goes against everything I believe in. A lot of people are so excited and relieved about getting this government injection that they post pictures of their “vaccination card” on social media. The only thing that pops in my mind when I see people doing this is “you must walk on four legs because that’s how sheep get around.” So why am I falling on the sword and getting the vaccine? Simple. My mother.

I’m an only child. I’ll be fifty-seven years old at the end of the month. I spent my career traveling the country doing morning radio until I walked away in 2011. I had two failed marriages. I don’t date and I don’t have kids. I live alone in Willoughby, Ohio where I have resided since relocating from West Palm Beach in the fall of 2018. Things are gonna change in Dannyland! in the middle of next month. Mother sold her home in Palm Beach Gardens and is coming back home to be with family. Mom is gonna live with me until she decides where she wants to live out the rest of her life. I am not ashamed to say that I owe everything in the world to my mother. She always has sacrificed herself for others. She prays every day and God is the focus of her life. Mother and I are very co-dependent. I know that’s not healthy. We talk on the phone at least six times a day. She is experiencing the beginnings of short term memory loss. We have both been on separate journeys in life and finally next month our paths will come together again for the final time. I am both happy and nervous.

Last month I saw my primary care physician for my annual check up. Whenever I see any of my doctors I prepare for the visit like preparing for my radio show. I arrive with a list of questions and concerns. I told my doctor of having no desire for the vaccine. I also told him about my mother coming to live with me and the fact she will be fully vaccinated when she gets here. He then told me something that changed my mind. “Your mother, albeit fully vaccinated, could still get the virus.” That was the game changer for me. I couldn’t care less if I got the virus. I am a very spiritual person with strong faith that looks forward to experiencing the next level. I am not a big fan of what society is today, however, this is not about me. I was quite the narcissist in the past. This is not the time to think of me and what I want. This is the time for me to insure the safety of the person that gave me the opportunity of life. This is the time for my mother. The vaccine goes against everything I believe in with my heart and soul. I don’t want a freaking sticker or a vaccine card or a free donut from Crispy Cream. I just want people to do what they want to do and not what the government is encouraging them to do……unless your Mother is coming to live with you in less than a month. Then just get the damn vaccine and keep that secret to yourself. Five years from now when a freaking foot starts growing out our heads we’ll know who the sheep are.

Danny’s popular podcast DANNYLAND! will be relaunched very soon!!!

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I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. My mind works in a different way than most people. I was both confused and appalled at the way the stupid media covered the recent car accident involving Tiger Woods. Let me first state that Tiger Woods is an incredible golfer. He has totally changed the way people play and watch the sport. Let me also state what needs to be said that I have yet to hear mentioned: Tiger Woods is a shitty driver and a very selfish person. Don’t act shocked by me telling you the truth. Stop being a sheep and listening to what the irresponsible media wants you to believe and consume. I feel bad that he was in a car accident but he’s not really a victim. He was actually putting himself above mankind by breaking the law, driving recklessly and endangering the lives of others. Why on earth would you be dumb enough to stop and kiss the ring?

I’ll be honest….I will NEVER be the golfer that Tiger Woods has been. I also will never be the shitty driver that Tiger Woods is. Dude can hit a golf ball around a bunch of trees yet he can’t keep a damn SUV on the road. Why does Tiger have to be in a hurry? Why does he ever have to worry about being late? He’s Tiger Woods…people will wait and he knows that yet it still isn’t good enough. This guy is such a narcissist that he doesn’t care about the law or anyone else’s safety. What a great role model. What a responsible father. What an asshole!! What if he hit another car and killed someone? Would everyone be “tweeting” and wishing him a speedy recovery? Sadly this world is so messed up right now that would not surprise me.

Be careful what the media tells you. They are in the business of making money and sometimes what makes ya “feel good” is not really the truth. Tiger is not the victim. He put himself in this situation. Cheer for the athlete when he is playing his sport but I would pull over to the side of the road if I ever saw him on the highway.

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Christmas Eve was always special for me as a kid. Family would show up and we would have a traditional Polish “Poor Man’s Meal.” Basically it was a very dry fish (sole I believe) served with pierogis and lots of sausage and kraut. Who was I kidding. I was and only child and I just wanted everyone to eat their shitty food so we could go upstairs and open up the damn presents. Things changed forever on that cold and blustery Christmas Eve in 1985.

This was my first Christmas Eve away from home and my family. I got into radio in the summer of 1985 and that changed the way I would celebrate the holidays. More often than not I was away from family. Christmas Eve 1985 found me in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I was two hundred and eighty-five miles away from my childhood home in Strongsville, Ohio. There was a terrible snowstorm that day and I was very sick. I had a fever and was alone for the first time on Christmas Eve. I called my mother to wish her well on the dinner and celebration she was about to have.

I got my first dog when I was in second grade. She was a collie. I named her “Lady.” Lady was my companion from the second grade on. Being an only child Lady was the closest thing to a sibling I would ever have. I was on the phone with mother that Christmas Eve when I heard the doorbell ring in the background. Mom explained she had to go as company was beginning to arrive. Something was not right. Something was missing. My dog would ALWAYS bark when someone rang the door bell. I stopped my mother before she could hang up and I asked in desperation, “What the hell is going on? Why is Lady not barking???” The pause seemed endless. Mother then took a deep breath, hesitated and said “Ya know when ya left in August and said I would know when it was time……..” There was a momentary lack of reason that filled my head. Suddenly it was clear to me…..Mother had killed my dog.

To this very day Mother will deny this ever happened. That’s what parents do as they get older. They develop selective memory and like to rewrite history. That was a long time ago yet it seems like it was yesterday. When your door bell rings this Christmas Eve and I hear your dog barking I can be rest assured you have never met my Mother.

Make sure to tune into Danny’s weekly podcast DANNYLAND! Click HERE to listen and share.

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memorial day

So tomorrow I turn 52 and I ask myself “what have I truly learned?”  I have made MANY mistakes in life.  Many.  I have acted selfishly and probably hurt a lot of people along the way.  This probably isn’t what God wanted me to do but every day I read a plaque that my mother recently passed down to me.  It’s from Proverbs:  “In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths.”

I’m not a bible thumper and this isn’t about your relationship with God.  That is personal and I respect your beliefs and what you decide to do with your beliefs.  This about what I have learned through my massive faults and it is my hope that you can relate or avoid some challenges you have yet to face.

  • Dad told me when I was young “Your parents are the best friends you will ever have.” Best advice he ever gave me.
  • You think you know pain until you have to bury a parent.
  • You see a piece of shit in the road walk around it and not through it.
  • No matter how mad you may be at someone close to you, hug them and tell them you love them.
  • Say please, thank you and you’re welcome.
  • There is something “after this.” When I had my heart block, died for 45 seconds and was in a coma for 6 days I saw a portion of it and it’s real.
  • Respect difference of opinion by reminding yourself 85% of this world truly is stupid.
  • As you get older you will find out who your “true friends” are. You probably will be able to count them on one hand.
  • Not all people have your best interests in mind. They will use you for their benefit and ignore you when you are no longer in a position to fulfill their selfish needs.
  • Talk and listen to those that are elderly. They have more knowledge than any library and are more than eager to share it with you.

I have to be honest.  I wish I could follow my advice at all times but there are situations I stray from my path and, quite frankly, find myself as a hypocrite.    All we can do is try our hardest each day and live our day as it’s our last as one day we will be correct.

They say there is nothing God gives us that we can’t handle.  I have found myself many times staring at the heavens and saying “Are ya freaking kidding me.  I can’t take it.”  Then, weeks or months later, I found I could take it and I needed to learn from what seemed to be the impossible.

What is truly important is Memorial Day.  It is a day set aside for those men and women who have given their lives for this country.  Think about that before ya light the grill.  They gave their lives.  This day was actually created by former slaves that wanted a day to honor former Union soldiers that perished in battle.  Veterans Day is a day set aside to honor all that have served.  I just learned that the other day so please don’t think I am the wise guru seated at the top of the mountain.

May you enjoy this weekend, remember our lost soldiers, hug your loved ones and appreciate this beautiful world that has been created for us.

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me and dadSixteen years ago today my phone rang in Cleveland and I looked at the caller ID.  It was the neighbor of my father.  I knew what this was about before I even answered…..my father had died at the age of 57.  There is no way to prepare anyone for the feelings you will have when losing a parent.  It’s almost like you become a member of “The Club” where you and the others don’t even have to speak your feelings to know what the other has gone through.

After getting the news I remember looking out the window and thinking: “Why are there cars on the road, why are the banks open, why are people grocery shopping and why are people at work?”  It was a big glass of reality for me.  The time we have here on this planet is undetermined and people suffer the loss of loved ones every day but as far as the planet it’s “business as usual.”

I was thirteen and in the basement with Dad when he gave me the greatest advice ever.  He said “Just remember, no matter what, your parents will be the best friends you ever have.”  Of course being thirteen I knew it all and it didn’t really sink in.  Over the years I have truly found not only those words to ring true but also words that have become more relevant and accurate as the days go by.

I really miss the opportunity to grab the phone in my times of trouble or confusion.  I knew that a helpless situation would be put into proper perspective with a five minute conversation with my father.  Now I’m left to figuring it out by myself and I’m not very good at it.

Dad taught me what it was like to be a man.  A man isn’t someone that lifts a lot of weight, can chop down a tree with four swings of an ax, or someone who has to tell anyone “ I’m a man!”  A true man is one that thinks of others instead of himself, gives of his time without expecting anything in return and isn’t afraid to cry from time to time.  I’m still working on so many things he taught me and I hope to have those lessons learned by the time we meet again.   I love you Dad…and look forward to when we meet again…..I got a lot to tell ya!

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out of workI haven’t worked since January of 2011 and I truly am thankful.  I have learned so much.  I am a workaholic by nature so it forced me to reinvent myself.  I have become a social media freak.  This truly is the way people will market and make money in the future.  Embrace it or be left behind.

I have created my own show prep site.  I have taken my late father’s passion of being an ex cop and being disgusted by police brutality and corruption and made it a web site.  I have polished my talk radio skills by establishing an internet radio show.   I have been able to spend a lot of time with my mother and she truly is an amazing human being.  I’m about to launch a new business in the next two weeks.   Things happen for a reason.

I truly was miserable in my last year of working.  I had compromised who I was and what I truly believe.  I want to make a difference.  I care about people.  I think these are turbulent times and I firmly believe that we can all learn something new each day by interacting with others.

I’m opinionated.  I know that.  I also am very open to different views  because we need to stop and listen to each other as it’s clear that no one has this “figured all out.”  Things in the past that I would dismiss I now stop and analyze.

I want this world to be a nicer place.  I want to hear “please” and “thank you.”  I want people to smile.  I think holding the door open for someone is natural.  I want to make a difference.

I’ve made mistakes and I think we all do on a daily basis.  A mistake really is an opportunity to learn and grow.  I needed to stop, listen, look around, and truly take inventory of what happens around me.  I vehemently believe that radio is a great opportunity to bond with the listener.  We are all in this together.  We all have our struggles.  We all can learn from each other.  Being caller “number nine” or hearing the latest Katy Perry song has nothing to do with this.

I used to never flinch on dropping $150 on a dinner.  Now I know when chicken breasts are on sale at my local grocery store.  I am ready for the next stage in life and my career.  I hate to say it…but I think I have finally grown up.

Danny Czekalinski hosts a weekly radio internet show called “Dannyland”   heard Thursdays at 9AM on mysourceradio.com  Show archives can be found HERE

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failureDid I fail as an adult?  Am I selfish? I just turned forty-nine and my head is mentality stuck at about twenty-five and I really would have it no other way.  As I assess my life to this point I do wonder if others look at me as a failure because I don’t have any kids.   Does the procreation of kids really define who and what you were during your short time here on earth?

I’m an only child, been married twice, and I’m pretty much set in my ways.  I don’t think that I’m a jerk but I do know what I want, when I want it, how I plan on getting it and I never stray from being completely honest with everyone I meet.   That sounds good in theory but that doesn’t always rub people the way they wish to be rubbed.

I observe many people who have children and I know that I could be a good parent but it’s just something that doesn’t appeal to me.  I had a wonderful childhood and I’m just not sure I’d be able to duplicate the job my parents did.  Watching a father play catch with his son in the park brings a smile to my face but I never hear that inner voice saying “someday that will be you.”  Does this make me a failure as a human being?  What truly is my purpose?   I do know that I have a strong conviction for those that infringe upon our rights.  Is that my calling?  Is that my mission?

They say that “kids change you.”  What if it doesn’t change me?  I don’t want to gamble with the potential happiness of an innocent child to take that personal risk.   My hat and heart go out to all the parents that do this on a daily basis.  I truly am amazed and thankful for the wonderful job that you do.  I just hope that facing my honesty does not make you look at me as a failure in life as I am not sure of what that answer truly may be.

 

Danny Czekalinski does a weekly internet radio show Thursdays at 10AM EST on mysourceradio.com    Archives of the show can be heard HERE

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A news anchor in Chicago told the “truth” about Santa earlier this week and you can imagine the backlash.  Story HERE:  I think you lose that innocent perspective of life the moment you hear the “Santa story.”  I’ll never forget “Santa-Day.”  It was a Tuesday morning in December at about 7:30AM.  The bus would stop in front of my house in ten minutes and I was just about to walk out the front door.  I was seven years old.  Mom asked me to come into my bedroom for a moment and sit down.  My mother got right to the point and said:  “I don’t want you to hear this on the bus but Santa is not real.  Your father and I buy the gifts and he eats the cookies.  I’ll explain the entire thing after school.”  I’m not kidding you.  I got the “Santa Story” like a news anchor was doing a tease for the six o’clock headlines.

I got on the bus stunned.  I looked around at the other snot-nosed kids and wondered how many of them knew.  Could they tell that I had just been told?  Is there a secret sign I need to share with them to illustrate I knew the big lie was over?  Look.  I was seven years old, my mother gives me a cliff-note version of the “Santa story” and throws me on a bus.  My world was a bit shaken and now I questioned EVERYTHING.  In fifteen seconds I had gone from existing in a constant state of Utopia to a psychologists dream.

When I got home from school that day I sat down with Mom and Dad and they explained everything in great detail.  Santa may not wear a red suit and climb down the chimney but he does exist.  There’s a little bit of Santa Claus in all of us and THAT’S what makes him real and makes him exist.  I felt much better.  I trusted the world and my parents once again.  All I could do is hug my mother and say “Well at least we have the Easter Bunny.”  There was a long pause……I think you know the rest of this story.  🙂