Did I fail as an adult? Am I selfish? I just turned forty-nine and my head is mentality stuck at about twenty-five and I really would have it no other way. As I assess my life to this point I do wonder if others look at me as a failure because I don’t have any kids. Does the procreation of kids really define who and what you were during your short time here on earth?
I’m an only child, been married twice, and I’m pretty much set in my ways. I don’t think that I’m a jerk but I do know what I want, when I want it, how I plan on getting it and I never stray from being completely honest with everyone I meet. That sounds good in theory but that doesn’t always rub people the way they wish to be rubbed.
I observe many people who have children and I know that I could be a good parent but it’s just something that doesn’t appeal to me. I had a wonderful childhood and I’m just not sure I’d be able to duplicate the job my parents did. Watching a father play catch with his son in the park brings a smile to my face but I never hear that inner voice saying “someday that will be you.” Does this make me a failure as a human being? What truly is my purpose? I do know that I have a strong conviction for those that infringe upon our rights. Is that my calling? Is that my mission?
They say that “kids change you.” What if it doesn’t change me? I don’t want to gamble with the potential happiness of an innocent child to take that personal risk. My hat and heart go out to all the parents that do this on a daily basis. I truly am amazed and thankful for the wonderful job that you do. I just hope that facing my honesty does not make you look at me as a failure in life as I am not sure of what that answer truly may be.