Years ago, when I was still doing morning radio, I made the observation that where you sat on the bus when you are going to school is pretty indicative of where you will go in life. There’s a lot of pressure going through the mind of a child when they get on the bus and stake out their territory. It’s not as bad if you are towards the beginning of the route because you can play it safe and sit in the middle but if you are towards the end of the route you don’t have as many options. Lord help the child that is forced to walk towards the back of the bus. This is where pure evil reigns.
Everyone knows that if you want to have a cigarette or your nose broken then you venture towards the back of the bus. Nothing good happens at the back of the bus. This is the Compton of school transportation. If this was real life the only way to insure personal safety is to obtain your concealed carry permit. These beasts in the back of the bus smoke their parents Lucky Strikes and run with scissors. They fear nothing. Your existence is nothing but a punching bag to those that reside in the back of the bus. Twenty years later these children will be bouncers at nightclubs and strippers that hang upside down on a brass pole. The criminals of tomorrow reside in the back of school buses today.
Let’s address the front of the bus. This is the destination for future Conservatives. It also is a great location for those in marching band or the orchestra. If you took your violin home to practice Handel’s Messiah the last thing you want to do is take that instrument towards the back of the bus. The nineteen year old eighth grade burnout in the back seat will whittle that thing down into a water bong before ya blink. The front of the bus is also a great place to sit if you are not able to climb the rope in gym class but that’s another story for a different day.
So what happens if you are the parents of a kid that looks like the picture above? I have to be honest with you: Putting this child on a bus is putting his personal safety at risk. Even the kid with the bad skin and viola case wants to kick his ass. You love your child, You want them to be safe. You must to the right thing as a parent and DRIVE them to school. They may get a wedgie or two in the school bathroom from the nineteen year old eighth grader but they will graduate college in three years. These are the future CEO’s and Wall Street Brokers. Today’s nerd is tomorrow’s millionaire. He gets the last laugh when he shows up at the class reunion driving a Lamborghini and a Instagram model on his arm. 2020 has been a taxing and trying year. The future is filled with questions and doubt. In 2021 do the right thing for your child. Do the right thing for the future of America. Drive your kid to school!!
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I’m not a doctor. I actually failed tenth grade Chemistry. Our teacher was named Fen Lewis and I couldn’t understand a damn thing she was saying. Because of our lack of connection through the English language I almost blew up Strongsville High School trying to learn about fractional crystallization. That’s a story for a different time as some people want you to believe that we all need to wear a mask, stay in our house and never go to church again. I’m not saying that there isn’t a Chinese Plague but we all need to use something that can’t be taught in a classroom or from a book; it’s called common sense.
I live in Willoughby, Ohio which is twenty miles east of downtown Cleveland. On Thursday our Governor will decide if he will close bars, restaurants and gyms. Bars are currently open but they must have last call by 10PM and be empty by 11PM. The Plague continues to rise in our state and Governor Harry Potter thinks the lockdown of bars, restaurants and gyms will stop it. Here’s where common sense should come in but it doesn’t since the Governor doesn’t have any. The bars, restaurant workers and owners I know have been abiding by the rules. They have invested thousands of dollars on cleaning supplies and team members that do NOTHING except focus on keeping their location sanitized and spotless. I’m in a high risk group and I feel safer there more than I do at the grocery store or at Walgreens getting my prescription filled. I actually think closing the bars early is the WORST thing you can do.
People love to socialize. People do not like to be told what to do. If you are standing in a bar in Ohio you must wear a mask. When you sit down you can remove it. Evidently scientists have determined the virus will not attack anyone in a chair. Perhaps we should make it mandatory to carry around a bar stool? Just because you give last call at 10PM it doesn’t mean the party is over. House parties are booming and no one is wearing a face mask while they slam dance to hair bands in someone’s basement at an after hours party that starts at 10:30 PM. You can’t control what happens in the privacy of someone’s home so why not keep them outside in a controlled environment? The conditions at any bar or restaurant right now are much better than the bacteria that can found growing in the kitchen sink of neighbor Nick’s after party that looks like a petri dish. We can make sure people are social distancing and still keep the local economy going. Isn’t it time to stop punishing those that are NOT breaking the laws? Like I said at the beginning of this blog….I’m not a scientist…..but I DO have common sense.
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These are turbulent times my friends. I took a moment to shut off the news and reflect upon my journey in life. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. I have become much more aware of that fact as life continues to pass on by. I was an only child and I was a handful. I challenged everything someone would say….a trait that continues today. I had wonderful parents…thankfully Mom is still alive today. Times were different back then. There was no such thing as “time out.” Each of my parents had their preferred punishment weapon. Dad liked the belt and Mom knew how to work that wooden spoon.
I still shudder at the sound I would hear from the kitchen when I would push Mom too far. The opening of the drawer beneath the microwave…then the sound of her fumbling through the kitchen utensils….suddenly the noise stops…..she has found her weapon of choice….THE WOODEN SPOON!!!
She spins like Wyatt Earp at the OK Corral….we make eye contact….she raises her weapon (which oddly enough was being used to stir spaghetti sauce just twelve hours ago) and makes her approach to “teach me a lesson.” I immediately run towards the circular dining room table. I use the table like a blocking sled to stay away from her boisterous advance. Suddenly I trip in my “stocking feet.” Mom straddles me like a LA cop. All of a sudden I feel like “Rodney King Light.” Good thing I ran Mom around the dining room table to tire her out. She only beat me for about ten minutes. Then she stood up and said “I’m gonna reheat yesterday’s spaghetti…want some?” Compared to 2020….that seems pretty normal to me.
Make sure to check out Danny’s weekly podcast DANNYLAND!!! New episodes every Wednesday. Click HERE to listen!
Wait a minute….I thought calling 911 was a good thing?? Well so did I…..then I heard about a friend’s story. Since this case is still under litigation I will be vague in my details but you will have enough information to understand the message.
My friend was attacked recently by a very large group of people. He called 911 for help and was transferred three times. When the Police finally showed up HE was arrested for a concealed handgun. After several court appearances the case was ready to go to trial. The Prosecution admitted they have zero witnesses. A plea bargain was agreed upon by the defense and the prosecution so the defendant could avoid jail time. The judge decided otherwise and gave my friend ten days in a maximum security prison. How does this happen? One moment my law-abiding friend is calling the local police for help and thirty days later he is in a six by ten foot isolation cell for a crime he did not commit.
If you do not want to be “in play” then stay out of the system. Make that call to 911 and you are in the Rolodex and officially “in play.” Nothing good will ever come out of a visit to your home by the police. Diffuse the situation on your own and go home. Always keep in mind that nothing good ever happens when you answer the front door. If you keep these simple rules in mind you should be able to stay out of jail…….as long as you wear your mask inside the grocery store. 😁😁😁
I still am in shock. I can’t believe what I saw last night. Nancy Pelosi is a selfish and miserable person. I understand not liking our President yet he still is the President. It is a position that demands respect. By tearing up a copy of the President’s State of the Union speech she was not just being disrespectful she was all about making the moment about her. She also destroyed a federal document. This is the person that is the Speaker of the House?
I once acted in a similar fashion except I was six years old and playing in the sandbox with some of the neighborhood kids. I didn’t like the way they were playing so I grabbed my Tonka trucks and ran home crying to Mommy. That’s what six year olds do. When you are seventy-nine years old and the first female Speaker of the House I think the expectations are set a bit higher. So now what?
Pelosi has put the icing on top of the cake of ruins that is the Democratic Party. She just didn’t tear up a copy of a speech. She tore up the names and memories of dead Americans….of TRUE patriots….of TRUE victims. The only solution to this public relations disaster is for her to step down. If she doesn’t resign, which I don’t think she will, then it only proves what a narcissist she truly is. Thanks for reading! 🦾🦾🦾
Based on your feedback you LOVE when Danny makes his funny phone calls. This time Danny calls ticket center to complain that he can’t get printed tickets for the Great White concert……only ones that they insist he download to his smart phone.😡😡😡 More reasons to hate CNN. A prediction on the Big Game. 🏈🏈🏈 Good news for pot smokers in Cleveland and much more.
Danny is at the doctor or hospital at least once a week. Monday he was there for some tests and has a great story to tell. 💉💉💉 Why did Danny have a master key to his high school? 😂😂😂 A phone call to the Tempe Police Department to ask about their arrest of PENIS MAN! Click below and share with a friend please. 🚨🚨🚨
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Why are young men dipping their testicles in soy sauce? 🙄🙄🙄 More proof that Joe Biden is a bad guy. AOC is clearly a bird-brain. 🐣🐣🐣Danny calls the local VFW hall to see if he can reserve a table for he and twelve of his fisherman friends on Good Friday. 😆😆😆 A well known female celebrity has quit drinking and MORE! 🦾🦾🦾