Years ago, when I was still doing morning radio, I made the observation that where you sat on the bus when you are going to school is pretty indicative of where you will go in life. There’s a lot of pressure going through the mind of a child when they get on the bus and stake out their territory. It’s not as bad if you are towards the beginning of the route because you can play it safe and sit in the middle but if you are towards the end of the route you don’t have as many options. Lord help the child that is forced to walk towards the back of the bus. This is where pure evil reigns.

Everyone knows that if you want to have a cigarette or your nose broken then you venture towards the back of the bus. Nothing good happens at the back of the bus. This is the Compton of school transportation. If this was real life the only way to insure personal safety is to obtain your concealed carry permit. These beasts in the back of the bus smoke their parents Lucky Strikes and run with scissors. They fear nothing. Your existence is nothing but a punching bag to those that reside in the back of the bus. Twenty years later these children will be bouncers at nightclubs and strippers that hang upside down on a brass pole. The criminals of tomorrow reside in the back of school buses today.

Let’s address the front of the bus. This is the destination for future Conservatives. It also is a great location for those in marching band or the orchestra. If you took your violin home to practice Handel’s Messiah the last thing you want to do is take that instrument towards the back of the bus. The nineteen year old eighth grade burnout in the back seat will whittle that thing down into a water bong before ya blink. The front of the bus is also a great place to sit if you are not able to climb the rope in gym class but that’s another story for a different day.

So what happens if you are the parents of a kid that looks like the picture above? I have to be honest with you: Putting this child on a bus is putting his personal safety at risk. Even the kid with the bad skin and viola case wants to kick his ass. You love your child, You want them to be safe. You must to the right thing as a parent and DRIVE them to school. They may get a wedgie or two in the school bathroom from the nineteen year old eighth grader but they will graduate college in three years. These are the future CEO’s and Wall Street Brokers. Today’s nerd is tomorrow’s millionaire. He gets the last laugh when he shows up at the class reunion driving a Lamborghini and a Instagram model on his arm. 2020 has been a taxing and trying year. The future is filled with questions and doubt. In 2021 do the right thing for your child. Do the right thing for the future of America. Drive your kid to school!!

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