Take a look at the items to the left. Do you know what they are? At first it looks like those water rockets you would play with as a kid but that is FAAAAAR from the truth. This apparatus is called a Post-T-Vac. When I hear that term I think of a vacuum cleaner that sweeps up unwanted post-it notes. Wrong you are again Robin. Lately I have been suffering from insomnia so that means I am exposed to a lot of infomercials for late night TV. The other night I saw the infomercial for the Post-T-Vac. I found a two-minute video that pretty much explains its purpose. Click HERE.
Yup….this thing and its accoutrements are to be put on your male member. It promises to show results in four minutes. There is NO WAY I’m putting my manhood in this salad shredder. Did you look at the commercial? Who ARE these people. I PRAY these guys have erectile dysfunction because there is no way we want these couples procreating unless we wanna go back to Darwin’s waiting room.
They also say that the Post-T-Vac is covered by insurance. Really? You wanna make that call to Blue Cross? “Hello Blue Cross?? Dick Limpy here. I need you guys to fork over some cash so I can stuff my over cooked noodle in a small vacuum cleaner. Hello? Hello??” They also claim it’s “clinically proven.” I know times are tough but I don’t wanna be working in THAT clinic. These dudes coming in sticking their magic sticks inside a sucking beaker until they get it right? Show me how the guys that were part of that study are walking today. I bet they look like a pirate looking for his parrot.
They also promise that it’s “delivered discretely” and it’s “100% guaranteed.” Well good God I would hope so. I don’t need my Fed Ex guy ringing the doorbell, asking me to sign for my package and saying “Use this pen because it’s probably the only hard thing you’ll put in your hand for awhile.” About that 100% guarantee. Do you really wanna be working in the mail room when the returns come in? That job may actually be worse than when they conducted the “clinical study.”