DANNY CZEKALINSKI

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Let me start by apologizing for not posting in a month.  I had a severe respiratory infection that left me on my back for five weeks and without a voice for three weeks.  With that out of the way let’s talk about the first day of school.

My mother dressed me with one purpose in mind:  Make sure my son gets his ass kicked on the playground.  I looked like a game show host at the age of five.  I had Florsheim shoes, knit slacks that were cuffed, an undershirt and a button down collared shirt.  I dressed better at five than I do now.

Mrs. Munson was my kindergarten teacher at Zellars Elementary.  They had all kinds of cool toys to choose from.  I chose a seven piece puzzle.  David Lurkey also wanted the puzzle I chose and he tried to take it from me.  I handled it like any five-year old would–I punched that little p##ck in the nose.  David Lurkey had cool clothes.  The girls liked David Lurkey.  That’s all fine and good but little David Lurkey got knocked out by a five-year old wanna-be “Match Game” host who wasn’t gonna let go of his puzzle.  See if YOUR mom can get blood out of your cool clothes like my mom can repair a hole in my nerdy knit slacks.

That was a long time ago but not much has changed.  I still dress like s**t, I am surrounded by a bunch of “David Lurkey’s here in South Florida but I also promise you this.  Try to take what is mine….and I will react the same way.  Sorry Mrs. Munson…it’s just the way I am.  🙂

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On Sunday it seemed EVERYONE was watching the Women’s World Cup finale.  My Twitter was blowing up.  The ratings eventually showed a HUGE share.  Japan won in a shoot out and then all the tweets and comments changed.  “Be proud of the ladies.”  “At least we got there.”  “Can’t win em all.”  What type of half assed thinking is this???

Team USA choked.  They blew it.  They didn’t show up.  Any of the previous three statements describes what happened.  Team USA was ranked number one in the world.  They hadn’t lost to Japan in the previous twenty-five meetings. It WAS David versus Goliath.  For some reason Team USA wasn’t mentally prepared to win.  Maybe they thought since Brazil was eliminated they could just coast through their game with Japan, not break a sweat, and negotiate their endorsement deals on the plane.

There is a lesson here in this national embarrassment.  Never take your competition lightly.  If you think anything BUT your best effort is acceptable then one day you will meet someone will less talent and they will emerge victorious.  Look no further than what happened to Team USA to support that!

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Everyone is sooooooooooooo shocked that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are getting a divorce.  The divorce rate is just over fifty percent.    That hardly constitutes “breaking news.”

People are actually sending death threats to Casey Anthony’s parents and law enforcement officials are concerned about the safety of Casey Anthony when she gets released tomorrow.  Casey Anthony and her parents did nothing to you….death threats and physically assaulting someone are serious crimes…why would you consider committing these crimes against someone you don’t know?

Hines Ward got arrested for suspicion of DUI last week.  Professional athletes have a surplus of money.  If you are going out drinking for an evening why not take a cab or a limo?

Standing in line at the grocery store I saw a magazine cover that had a few “Teen Mom’s” on the cover and a “Real Housewife.”  Has society plunged so deeply into a cesspool of insignificance that this REALLY sells magazines?

I see more and more people standing on busy street corners spinning and holding signs.  This has ZERO effect on if I wanna buy a sub at Quiznos or turn in my unused gold for cash.

Sitting at a red light the other day I saw a man talking on a pay phone while sitting on a box that sells newspapers.  I thought to myself “Maybe this guy actually thinks it’s 1985.”

A pick up truck in front of me had this sticker on it’s back window “In Memorium of Jack _____  5-3-62 to 7-10-10.”  I wondered if he was looking down on that truck and feeling proud that his memory was next to a Confederate flag and a sticker of Calvin peeing on a Ford logo.

Yes people….I think stupidity is contagious….and it’s rapidly spreading.  Have a great weekend!

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Just the image of Nancy Grace sets off emotion in people.  There is no grey area with her.  I’ll be honest….I’m not a fan or hers but I respect how she has branded herself.  If you ever are in public and a screaming match breaks out……stick around…there is a pretty good chance Nancy Grace will show up.  The recipe is quite simple:  Take some Jerry Springer, a dash of Larry King, sprinkle a small amount of Meet The Press, focus on a missing, cute, white girl, take calls that only agree with you, and scream at people on your panel.

I actually lay awake at night fearing that Susan Moss (her number one screaming panelist) will gnaw her way through my dry wall and devour my foot like a malnourished komodo dragon.  If I acted as a kid like these panelists do on her show, I would have been sent to my room without dinner.  Nancy Grace tries to pull her act at my parent’s dinner table then mom is getting the wooden spoon and dad is loosening his belt.

Just when ya think her head will spin around and pea soup will be forced from her trachea she takes a call about her twin girls.  A “random caller” (really?  we all know they are set up) asks Nancy “Ooooooo Nancy….how ARE the little ones?”  Suddenly Nancy’s face morphs into this sweet, serene look and she coos, “Bless you.  My babies are my anchor.  My strength.  The reason I breathe.”  That’s great Nancy…aren’t they sixteen now?  Maybe one of them is engaged to Hef.  It’s not like they just came home from the NICU.  Again, Nancy KNOWS how to play it.  She KNOWS how to play YOU.

Nancy Grace just had her highest ratings EVER last month.  Like her or hate her you KNOW her.  For today…that’s all I have….Good night friend.  🙂

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For a moment today we stopped talking about Casey Anthony.  For a moment today we stopped talking about the lousy jobs outlook.  For a moment today everyone put all their differences aside and we came together.  We all either looked to the skies or looked to our TV sets as the final space shuttle flight successfully lifted off.  Democrat stood next to Republican and black stood next to white.  Together we shared our pride in our country as we joined in a unison chant of “USA!  USA!  USA!”

That moment of truly having a “United States of America” lasted as long as the plume of shuttle smoke remained in the atmosphere.  Once again the finger-pointing is back in session and the “he said/she said” game of blame is in full swing.  Why don’t the suit and ties on Capital Hill understand what we, the common man, truly believes.  We don’t care about the blame….we care about the fix.

I live in West Palm Beach where the summer heat and humidity is almost unbearable.  If my air-conditioning went out I really don’t care what is wrong I just want someone to fix it.  This country has been without air-conditioning for quite some time.  Everyone is uncomfortable.  The guy that promised he could fix our air conditioning isn’t getting the job done.  In less than two years we are going to be asked who we want to take care of our “air-conditioning.”  I would hope this nation would be able to react like they did today.  Set the differences aside.  Come together for a common cause.  RESEARCH your candidates.  Forget about party affiliation, who is the best speaker, color or who your family votes for.  Vote for the BEST repairman…….because it’s really starting to get hot in here.

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It’s been twenty-four hours since the Casey Anthony verdict.  I’ve watched Nancy Grace’s head spin around like a top.  I’ve heard the comparisons to OJ (that’s insane….OJ killed TWO people).  I’ve watched the TV talking heads ask “What about Kaylee?” and then go on to talk for the next hour about what CASEY will do.  This has been a filibuster of morons and hypocrites.

Casey Anthony is going to be a millionaire many times over.  The networks will fight for the first interview.  There will be a movie.  There will be a book.  There could be a career in porn.  Could she be the next “Bachelorette?”  Imagine if they put her on “Dancing With The Stars.”  Yes, Casey Anthony is gonna be a millionaire and its our fault.  We created this monster.

Imagine if when she gets out of jail later this week nobody cared.  No press.  No helicopters flying over head. No breaking news.  Ya know what that would mean?  NO PAY DAY!

Well that’s not gonna happen.  It’s gonna be a show.  Press everywhere.  Satellite TV trucks lined up for miles.  I’ll even bet that Gloria Allred walks her to the limo.  Wanna blame the jury? What for?  What did you really expect from twelve people not smart enough to get out of jury duty?

Life has become “The Truman Show.”  Until we all decide to look the other way and watch something else, it will only happen again.

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My view on things has always been a bit distorted.  That’s just the way I am.  Having said that I offer five things I am confused about on this day that we celebrate the Fourth of July.

1) CHOOSE YOUR LANGUAGE:  Whether it be at the ATM or calling an automated switchboard we are prompted with this decision.  If I were visiting embassy row I would understand.  Shouldn’t those that DON’T speak english be inconvenienced?

2) SALUTE THE TROOPS:  Many men and women have given their lives for this country.  Why do we ignore them when they return from duty?  I believe they deserve a bit more than a parade once a year.

3) GO TO JAIL FOR WHAT GROWS NATURALLY:  It’s okay for America to be hooked on prescription drugs because pharmaceutical companies contribute to campaign election funds.  If Pfizer could patent dirt, sun and fertilizer they would!

4)  DON’T PULL THE MAN WEARING THE TURBAN AND HOLDING THE KORAN OUT OF THE SECURITY LINE!:  If a bunch of tall, balding Pollocks hijacked planes and flew them into the World Trade Center I would budget an extra fifteen minutes for me to get through airport security.  I understand the law of averages game.  Instead we search the soiled diaper of a 95 year old woman? 

5)  TODAY WE CELEBRATE OUR FREEDOM AND INDEPENDENCE!  Our fore fathers made sure that this land is our land….after we barbarically came here and took it from the Native Americans.  Hmmmm….good thing they didn’t tell Paul Revere that or perhaps he wouldn’t have saddled up the horse.

So now it’s time for me to light a sparkler made in China, sit down on a plastic chair made in Korea, and drink a cold German beer to celebrate our “independence.”  Seriously….Happy Fourth of July.  🙂

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As we all know NBC’s Chris Hanson has allegedly been caught cheating on his wife.  Why is this front page news? The divorce rate is 50% and I think we all know a few people cheating on their spouses.  It is because of what Chris is KNOWN FOR that the media has made this into a story.

Chris has busted quite a few sickos during his time as host of “To Catch a Predator.”  If this story is true then what happened, although morally wrong, happened between two consenting adults.  Chris didn’t show up at a Chuck E Cheese with a roll of quarters in his speedo, a squirt gun and a box of condoms.  We don’t know what’s going on inside his house so I think this is between he and his wife.

Now what about “the other woman?”  Her name is Kristyn Caddel and she is a reporter at the NBC affiliate here in West Palm Beach.  I’ve lived and worked in the media here in West Palm since 2004 and this is the first time I heard her name.  She’s taking quite a beating in the blogs and I almost feel sorry for her.  I say “almost” because she is gonna benefit in the long run.  Jessica Hahn, Rachel Uchitel, OctoMom, Amy Fischer….the list of people who have found fame through pop culture is endless.  Call it sleazy but we, as consumers, have created this monster.

I think about Hansen’s opening line.  Was it “Ever watch TV?  Ever watch Dateline?” What were their trysts like?  Did he tape them with a hidden camera?  What did Kristyn say when that guy with the headset and giant boom microphone came out of the hallway closet?

See how easy it is?  I’m part of the problem instead of part of the solution.  I need to get MY name out there.  I’m off to ring Mary Jo Buttafuoco’s doorbell.

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What the hell has happened to our country?  No one speaks the truth anymore.  Everyone is afraid of offending someone.  How can we effectively communicate with one another when we are not being completely honest?  Opinions are just the thoughts of an individual.  They are similar to feelings.  To that particular individual they CAN’T be wrong.  We don’t have to agree with one another but let’s at least cut the bulls**t and be honest.  I’m gonna list five topics and give you my honest opinion on each.  Perhaps this will get the honesty ball rolling.

1) KIM KARDASHIAN:  She got famous for what she put IN her mouth as opposed to the nonsense that comes out of her mouth.  She’ll never get married to this basketball player and she has a fat ass.  Because of her massive Twitter following she IS influencial.  God help us.

2) PRESIDENT OBAMA:  He’s a great speaker but so was my priest back in Cleveland and my priest would have no business being President.  I wish he’d just admit he talked his way into office and not run in 2012.  Give me a guy with a stuttering problem and a crappy wardrobe as long as he can rescue a business.  America IS a business and it’s a business in BIG trouble.

3)  AFFIRMATIVE ACTION:  This is a joke and it’s racist.  Hire the best person for the job.  It really is that simple.  Imagine applying affirmative action to the NBA.  Does THAT put it in perspective for you?

4)  BI-LINGUAL SOCIETY:  This is crap.  We are in America and you speak English.  Don’t make me push a special button at the ATM to receive instructions in English.  I am a HUGE proponent of tradition.  Speak your native language inside your home but learn english like my great grand parents had to do.

5)  CORPORAL PUNISHMENT:  Smack away.  I didn’t say abuse I said smack.  No one knows what “hot” really is until you put your hand on the stove.  You say “no” to me and I still think it’s a “maybe.”  Pull out the strap or wooden spoon and put that to use and I understand the meaning of the word “no.”

There ya go.  My thoughts may not be popular but at least you know how I feel.  Will YOU be honest today?