Posts Tagged ‘tattoos’

life

Life is strange…….at least mine is.  We all make mistakes but mistakes are how we learn.  I’ve made countless mistakes so I should be pretty smart but the only thing this proves is that I have a superfluous amount of mistakes yet to endure.   Having said this I thought I would share some of the lessons in life I have learned.

  • Never raise your voice to win an argument:  People that yell are frustrated and the secret to winning an argument is to frustrate your opponent into raising his/her voice.
  • Kindness cannot be taught you either practice it or just make the conscious decision to be an asshole.
  • Never date anyone that you meet at last call.
  • Money pays bills but it doesn’t create self-worth.
  • Experience a brush with death and you will figure out the meaning of life.
  • People will use the word “amazing” when it’s not truly “amazing.”
  • Drinking tequila leads to one of two things: getting into a fight or taking your clothes off.
  • People with a cross tattooed on their forehead do not work at NASA.
  • Never trust anyone that believes wrestling is real.
  • Whoever created bottled water or salad in a bag is a genius.

It took me many years to figure out these proverbs of wisdom.  I look forward to the mistakes I will make today to create my lessons of tomorrow.

swift

Crazy tattoos, Three Things I Don’t Understand, Why Radio Stations Flip to Xmas Music and more!  Just click below to listen.

Every now and then something comes along and I just don’t understand the popularity and appeal it has to others.  Mixed Martial Arts is one of those stumbling blocks.

It’s much more violent than boxing and it’s what I imagine prison rape might resemble.  For someone who has never see seen MMA I would suggest take boxing, add some wrestling, and top it off with that volleyball scene from the movie “Top Gun.”  THAT is MMA!

In order to get an opponent to “tap out” it seems you must “tea-bag” him until he is nearly asphyxiated.  I’d want out of the match as well if I was choking on a scrotum that resembled a five-pound sack of Vidalia onions.  “Sack out ref!!!  Sack out!!!”

Crazy tattoos, lots of blood, lots of violence, lots of yelling, lots of finger-pointing, lots of overcompensation happening here if you ask me.  I say lose the double earrings, put on a t-shirt that actually FITS, grab your opponent and spend the day antiquing.  You know ya want to!  🙂