I live in a gated community where no one has a mailbox at the end of their driveway.  We all have a central area where everyone has their own box and a key to open the box and retrieve their mail.   This would seem like a great gig for anyone that works for the Postal Service since they stay in one central area, don’t have to drive door to door and basically just stay in an air-conditioned building and sort through the mail and stick the contents in their specific slot.  Well this is not the case with Delores.

Delores has yelled…yes I do mean yelled….at me because I don’t stop by to pick up my mail every day.   Look….I don’t subscribe to any magazines so the only mail I receive is my bills and junk mail that I don’t want to get anyhow.  I was pretty sick about two weeks ago and didn’t stop to get my mail for one week.  I was expecting to get yelled at again but I wasn’t prepared for what Delores had done.  I opened my mail box and nothing was there except a neon yellow slip marked “VACANT.”  I was confused.  I didn’t know what that meant.  I knocked on the door where the postal workers are and fully expected Delores to come at me with a spear but it was her day off and she wasn’t there.  When I explained my ongoing problem with Delores to one of her co-workers and showed him my neon yellow slip all he could mutter was “That’s not good.”

I was informed that “VACANT” tells anyone that is sending me something in the mail that I have LEFT my house and did not supply a forwarding address.  That means I had to go home and call ALL of my services….satellite TV, cable, phone company, water etc. to let them know I hadn’t skipped town.  Anyone that has called any of these services knows that you don’t get right through…there is a tremendous amount of time on hold listening to a long oboe solo.  To say I’m angry is an understatement.  I want my justifiable revenge but this is a government agency and I almost feel helpless.

Any suggestions you may have would be greatly appreciated.  In the meantime….I’m afraid as the customer….I am about to go POSTAL!