Tom Brady is the quarterback for the New England Patriots. Last night he threw for a franchise record 517 yards. He has won three Super Bowls. He makes about $18 million a year. He is married to Gisele Bunchen. She is one of the most beautiful models in the world. She makes more money than Tom. You’d have to be a blind homophobe NOT to admit that Tom is also a very good-looking man. Cliff note version: Tom is a multi-millionaire that is one of the best football players of all time and he wakes up next to a naked super-model. My mother would say “He has the same problems that you do.” Hello Mom??? Mom are you listening??? HE DOES NOT! Life isn’t fair. Tom is having a great string of luck that has lasted…hmmm….let me see…oh yeah….HIS ENTIRE LIFETIME!!!
Everybody has a bad day at some point. I’m sure Tom does as well. Perhaps the Bentley won’t start and he will be forced to drive the Porsche. Maybe he left his black American Express card in his other three thousand dollar Italian suit and he was forced to use his Citibank card. Perhaps his servants can’t make it to one of his mansions because of a huge winter snowstorm and Tom has to empty the dishwasher HIMSELF. Perhaps his nude super-model wife will one day wake up with…..A PIMPLE!!! You’re right mom….I’m feeling MUCH better now. 🙂