See this kid to the left?  Ya don’t wanna be him.  He’s a weatherman in Arkansas that had an unfortunate evening.  His night ended in the following headline:  “Weatherman Found in Hot Tub With Dead Man Wearing Dog Collar.”   I’m not kidding.  CLICK HERE  Oh, by the way…..his last name is Cummins.

As the media spokesperson for this TV station you have a LOT to deal with:  a) Employee sleeping nude with dead guy  b) Hot Tub  c) and the “caveat”…..the DOG COLLAR!  Ya gotta have balls of steel.  This is America.  Give the stupid people some sort of answer and they’ll change the topic at the dinner table to “Why ‘All In The Family’ would never make it past censors today!”

Here’s my spin:  Mr. Cummins is very distraught about the accidental drowning of his unnamed friend that was obviously a dog lover.  Mr. Cummins, a nudist, an avid swimmer, and a sufferer from the sudden onset of narcolepsy is not available yet for comment as he is at city hall changing his last name to “Luvtitz.”  What’s yours????