Sunday is Mother’s Day and I figured out what I’m getting Mom this year:  a collection of wooden spoons.  Of course I will also have to take some time to explain to her that the primary use of the wooden spoon is for COOKING!

My mother had a VERY impressive collection of wooden spoons.  There was one in the laundry room on top of the dryer, one in the bathroom by her hot rollers, one in the glovebox of the car, and of course one in the kitchen drawer.

Do you remember “THE SOUND?”  You had just pushed mom past her limits.  You ignored the warning of “Don’t make me get the wooden spoon.”  Suddenly you hear a drawer open and then your mother is searching  through the various kitchen utensils.  This is your last moment to run.  The rummaging suddenly stops and you don’t need to look back to know what has happened:  MOM IS ARMED WITH HER WEAPON!!

If you were like me then you looked for “circular shelter.”  We had a round table in the dining room and if I could make it to the basement I had the pool table.  My strategy was to tire mom out by making her chase me around the table like Wiley Coyote!  My mother is  gonna be 72 this October and I know if ya put a wooden spoon in her hand today she will run a 40 yard dash that would impress scouts at the NFL combine.

Luckily my mother is still with me and Sunday is HER day.  I’m sure you will understand, just to be on the safe side, when she’s in the kitchen, I’ll be on the other side of the dining room table.