I have to preface this post by saying I love my mother dearly.  Now look at the picture to your left.  That is me.  I am seven years old and I feel like I am standing at the gates of hell.

I was reminded of this hideous outfit when I ran across a story that the popularity of clowns is on a HUGE decline.  READ STORY HERE.  Is anyone surprised by this?  Let me point out to you that I am not an agreeable participant in this outfit my mother MADE for me.

This costume that makes me look like the court jester for the Prince of Darkness was constructed by hand.  I remember being dragged to Minnesota Fabrics as my mother picked out the pattern and material to build this uniform of evil.  I would have been happy being a cowboy or a police officer but mother insisted I was to be dressed like a droll to Lucifer.

MY FREAKING SMILE HAD TO BE PAINTED ON!!!  Painted on to make it look like I was having a good time.  I don’t believe she needed to use white make up as a base as I’m sure that the lack of circulation to my face made that sinister smile stand out like Michael Richards headlining a “Night at the Apollo.”

There is nothing funny about a clown.  There is something scary about anyone that wants to BE a clown.  John Wayne Gacy was a clown.  He also painted clowns in his spare time.  He also did other horrible things in his spare time that made dressing like a clown seem normal.

Don’t get me wrong I appreciate the effort my mother put forth in making me a Halloween costume BUT if she wasn’t possessed by Mephistopheles, I think she would have polished my shoes.