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Today is a special day. My Mom is 76 today and is quite an amazing person. She still works full time, enjoys doing outside yard work, and goes to church every Sunday. When I was in ICU she was there every day including the six days I was unconscious. When I regained consciousness she was there as I had to learn how to speak and eat again. I remember her having faith that I could chew a cracker. I thought she was trying to choke me. She was right. How weird that must have been for her to go through something she had gone through so many years ago.
I learned something I never knew about my mother. While in ICU I asked her “When did you tell your first lie?” She replied “I never have. I’ve always been kind of an oddball.” Oddball? This is the furthest thing from being an oddball and something that is parallel to the life of a Saint. Mom has been staying at my house since my release from ICU on October 6th. It’s not easy as I have always thrived on living and being alone. We have had long conversations about my OCD, social anxiety disorder and general anxiety disorder. Although it is hard for her to relate I give her credit for acknowledging my need to always have a TV on 24/7 and how I cannot exist in silence.
I, on the other hand, have figured out her mastering of being passive-aggressive. She will ask me a question and I will say “no.” Five minutes later she asks basically the same question but in a different way. There comes a time when ya just have to say “F##k it” and do what she wants. It makes her happy and stops me from having a severe panic attack and possibly being led away by men in white suits and butterfly nets.
I take this day and salute all of you mothers. I don’t know how ya do it. The unique intuition you have when something is wrong and how you worry non stop. Any female can give birth to a child but it takes an amazing and gifted person to be a mother. I , obviously, am biased and believe that I have the best one in the world. Happy Birthday to my rock in this world and again a special salute to all the mother’s in the world.
We all have been through the car buying experience and the competition to get your business is very high. This is the reason thousands of dollars are spent in your city by local dealerships to convince you to walk inside their showroom. I have been involved in the media business for many years and I will never understand the car dealer that insists on doing his own commercial because, quite frankly, you look like a goofball.
You know what I am referring to. On St. Patrick’s Day he dresses like a Leprechaun. On Christmas he’s in a Santa suit and his brother is dressed as an elf. On Valentine’s Day he may even dress as Cupid and shoot an “arrow of savings LIKE NEVER BEFORE!!!!” That’s another thing they do….they freaking yell at you. You are not cutting a commercial for Wrestlemania you own a freaking car lot. Are you gonna scream at me when I walk in the door? If that’s the case I may as well buy a car from my mother as I walk out of my door with a wet head.
“At (insert car dealership name here) WE HAVE GONE CRAZY!!” Really? Then I would suggest a trip to the psychiatrist to get some proper meds because I don’t want you sitting next to me during a test drive frothing at the mouth with a switchblade in your pants pocket.
And while I’m on a roll let me address the giant inflatable King Kong that some dealerships insist on placing on top of their roof. First of all King Kong is not real. Secondly a balloon serves the purpose of putting a smile on the face of a young child so if this is your strategy to attract your target customer I’m quite confident they are not carrying a Mensa card. That’s my service to the public for today….perhaps tomorrow I’ll address the Chuck Norris Total Gym.
So what is killing radio?? Simple….radio. In this socially media active society there are many things that compete for someone’s attention. Radio can save radio if it just embraces the change in technology and uses social media to promote their content. CONTENT. Content is now more important than ever.
Content doesn’t mean music. If you have a smart phone you basically have your own music station in your hand. People get up in the morning and they check their facebook page. They are not sitting on the couch with some Funions listening to your radio show. Use facebook to promote what you will have that is worth tuning in when they get in the car but make sure it’s on facebook before they get up and hit their news feed.
Use twitter to remind them why they should tune in when they are out the door and on the road but ya better deliver. If I tune into a radio station I want one of three things: 1) to laugh 2) to learn 3) or to agree/disagree on a topic. People want to be ENTERTAINED.
There is a reason that music radio stations are slowly disappearing and being replaced by talk and sports stations. Technology is here to get the music for free while not having to wait for your favorite song or sit through commercials. Great content, however, will give them a reason to tune in and sit through the screaming car dealership ads.
Competition for an individual’s attention (listenership) will increase ten- fold when the internet is available in vehicles. Think that won’t affect radio? Look what the internet has done to newspapers.
People can sense bullshit. People want honesty. People want to be engaged and they want to freaking laugh or react. One thing that everyone has is an opinion. Radio needs to utilize that simple fact to stay relevant.
I could go on and on but a radio station playing in the background is asking for caller number nine to win a $100 laser hair removal gift certificate. Compelling huh???? NOT!
Is Amanda Bynes crazy is or is she just freaking brilliant? I’m starting to think she is crazy like a fox. There is no such thing as bad publicity—unless ya end up pulling an Aaron Hernandez. In the past year Amanda has pulled all kinds of stunts that may lead you to think she should reside in a rubber room but she has yet to be in trouble with the law.
It’s no secret that I am looking for a talk radio job—whether that be in topical talk or sports talk. I’m honestly thinking of getting a blonde wig, wandering around the streets of Buffalo mumbling incoherently and throwing a flower vase outside of my window. Sadly we live in a society where good news and talent doesn’t necessarily lead to us to rewards. If I dress up like Sideshow Bob, get on a pogo stick, weave a few baskets out of cooked spaghetti and juggle a few bowling balls on a street corner I’m gonna be able to get my name out there because I know the local TV stations will send out the satellite trucks for a live shot at five.
They say ya gotta be crazy to want to be in radio today—maybe I need to put a stop at the wig store on my “to-do” list for today.
I live in a gated community where no one has a mailbox at the end of their driveway. We all have a central area where everyone has their own box and a key to open the box and retrieve their mail. This would seem like a great gig for anyone that works for the Postal Service since they stay in one central area, don’t have to drive door to door and basically just stay in an air-conditioned building and sort through the mail and stick the contents in their specific slot. Well this is not the case with Delores.
Delores has yelled…yes I do mean yelled….at me because I don’t stop by to pick up my mail every day. Look….I don’t subscribe to any magazines so the only mail I receive is my bills and junk mail that I don’t want to get anyhow. I was pretty sick about two weeks ago and didn’t stop to get my mail for one week. I was expecting to get yelled at again but I wasn’t prepared for what Delores had done. I opened my mail box and nothing was there except a neon yellow slip marked “VACANT.” I was confused. I didn’t know what that meant. I knocked on the door where the postal workers are and fully expected Delores to come at me with a spear but it was her day off and she wasn’t there. When I explained my ongoing problem with Delores to one of her co-workers and showed him my neon yellow slip all he could mutter was “That’s not good.”
I was informed that “VACANT” tells anyone that is sending me something in the mail that I have LEFT my house and did not supply a forwarding address. That means I had to go home and call ALL of my services….satellite TV, cable, phone company, water etc. to let them know I hadn’t skipped town. Anyone that has called any of these services knows that you don’t get right through…there is a tremendous amount of time on hold listening to a long oboe solo. To say I’m angry is an understatement. I want my justifiable revenge but this is a government agency and I almost feel helpless.
Any suggestions you may have would be greatly appreciated. In the meantime….I’m afraid as the customer….I am about to go POSTAL!
A lot of people follow Pat Robertson. That concerns me because Pat Robertson is an idiot. Pat Robertson just said the recent earthquakes in Oklahoma are a sign that we are near the end of time. I’m not kidding. Click HERE. I say we call this guy’s bluff. If we are near the end of time then I say I shut off his goof ball TV show and stop following his ministry. Take that $500 a month that you “donate” to buy tweed sport coats and bracelets that correct Pat’s magnetic field and spend it on your FAMILY.
Look, I believe in a Supreme Being. I don’t know what He or She stands for and what they have planned for our future but I can be assured of one thing: Whoever it is…is not talking to Pat Robertson. Did we forget that back in the 70’s this guy was saying the world was going to end in November of 1982? We all know now that the good Lord wanted us to enjoy Poison and other hair bands thus we dodged that potentially fatal moment in time. Pat Robertson is a used car salesman selling the bible. God LOVES you but ya gotta FEAR God. I don’t know about you but I don’t FEAR anyone I LOVE.
I’m always leery of the person in the room that makes the most noise. I believe that person is trying to draw attention away from the fact that they are the least comfortable. Pat Robertson is so quick to supply all the answers and that makes me think he should be questioned more than anyone.