radio

on

ClownBoss1Meetings.  I really believe we have too many.  Meeting to prepare for meetings make me crazy.  Don’t get me wrong I value the importance of a meeting that is truly needed but some of the stuff that comes out of a meeting leaves me more confused and detached than before the meeting.  Sometimes a meeting isn’t a meeting at all it’s just a get together where you are being told what to do.

I remember a meeting a bunch of us had many years ago where the General Manager had promised the services and support of my morning show as a favor to their church.  We were informed that the show would camp out in a tent with a bunch of other people to raise awareness and dollars to the homeless.  This meeting was not a “brainstorming session” it was basically held to be given our marching orders.

I am all for serving the public.  I like to help people but I also think you need to focus on your brand and serve your target demo.  When you say the word “homeless” I think many people think of someone hairy, dirty, sleeping in a box and smelling like urine.  While that may be unfair I do think it’s accurate.

My suggestion was to do a benefit that touches the female demo:  raise money for shelters for abused women, help for terminally ill children, etc.  At that point the General Manager uttered this golden nugget, “This is not about the bad homeless, this is about the good homeless.”   I was stunned.  The good homeless?  Perhaps this is something I did not know about.  They have classified the homeless.  Evidently Home Security waits until we are asleep and then covertly brands the homeless with bar codes to separate them into two categories:  good and bad.  The next time you are tempted to make a donation while stopped at a light I think you should demand that the individual fold back his ear so you can see the aforementioned bar code to know if you are giving to the good or the bad homeless.  You can easily download the app on your smart phone to make this process an easy one.

I’d tell ya more but I’m late for a meeting……

 

DANNY CZEKALINSKI hosts a weekly internet radio show on mysourceradio.com       Show archives can be heard HERE

on

 

 

amanda-bynesIs Amanda Bynes crazy is or is she just freaking brilliant?  I’m starting to think she is crazy like a fox.  There is no such thing as bad publicity—unless ya end up pulling an Aaron Hernandez.  In the past year Amanda has pulled all kinds of stunts that may lead you to think she should reside in a rubber room but she has yet to be in trouble with the law.

It’s no secret that I am looking for a talk radio job—whether that be in topical talk or sports talk.  I’m honestly thinking of getting a blonde wig, wandering around the streets of Buffalo mumbling incoherently and throwing a flower vase outside of my window.  Sadly we live in a society where good news and talent doesn’t necessarily lead to us to rewards.  If I dress up like Sideshow Bob, get on a pogo stick, weave a few baskets out of cooked spaghetti and juggle a few bowling balls on a street corner I’m gonna be able to get my name out there because I know the local TV stations will send out the satellite trucks for a live shot at five.

They say ya gotta be crazy to want to be in radio today—maybe I need to put a stop at the wig store on my “to-do” list for today.

 

Danny Czekalinski does a weekly radio show every Thursday at 10AM EST on MySourceRadio.com.  Click on the DANNYLAND link to access show archives.

on

michael-jackson-mugshot1)  MICHAEL JACKSON:  Allegedly the late King of Pop paid $35 million to twenty-four boys to buy their silence of child abuse allegations.  I don’t care if he was a musical genius or not.  If these allegations prove to be true then we must not recognize his musical ability without first being concerned about his alleged cruel and sick actions towards children.

2) ATHLETES THAT COMMIT CRIMES:  I am a huge sports fan but I find it more difficult to cheer on these goons that commit heinous crimes.  Would ya buy a Charles Manson jersey and root for him to write a book or put a painting on Ebay for you to buy?

3)  KIM KARDASHIAN:  Why do we continue to support this narcissistic promiscuous floozy?  She will eventually sell pictures of her child, gave her a stupid name and yet is idolized by millions of teen-age girls?  I only hope these followers wise up and realize she is truly the antithesis of a female role model.

4)  GLOBAL WARMING:  I don’t believe for one second that a styro-foam cup and an aerosol deodorant can is gonna knock this world of its axis and melt the glaciers.  This world has been around for more than a few million years and I don’t think a few plastic water bottles are gonna knock us out of orbit.

5)  PAULA DEAN:  I’m not convinced that she is racist but I am convinced that she believes that black people are not on the same level as white people.  To me it’s simple:  Don’t view people by color or gender; view them by intelligence or stupidity but I have long ago learned that common sense is obtained and not able to be taught.

To hear more of my thoughts and rants tune into DANNYLAND, Thursdays at 10 AM EST on mysourceradio.com

on

happy-mothers-dayMy mother will be 74 in October.  I moved here to West Palm Beach in 2004 to be on the radio and keep an eye on her.  Somehow the roles have reversed in the past two years since I have not been working and now she sees me as a kid again.  It’s almost as though she relishes in the fact that she can mother me again.  I was always a saver and banked my money.  My biggest fear has always been being broke and homeless.  I honestly believe that if I started working again my mother would think that her purpose in life has been eliminated.   We actually had a conversation the other night about life insurance polices…..mainly mine.  I found out that parents really don’t want to discuss your eventual demise…they morph into an endless dialogue about the medications they are on and how they can’t keep up with technology.

My mother still cuts her own grass, goes to church every Sunday, works full-time and can take a knife and a cucumber and make it into a work of art.  She offers strange words of wisdom:  “Take a shower every morning to wash all the viruses off of you.”   The battery on her cordless phone is going and her solution is to plug-in her old land line.  She says things that I don’t know how to respond to:  “I’m taking the long way home because it’s raining and I can’t see in the dark.”

She refers to her answering machine as a “recorder” and always asks me about relatives that have passed;  “Do you remember Aunt Fran?”  Aunt Fran died 20 years ago…it’s not like Spock gave me the Vulcan mind meld.  I can’t get off the phone without her asking if I washed things I eat.  “Wash those tomatoes…people like to pick through them.”  God help society if there weren’t chickens because eventually the conversation will turn to eggs.  “Everything is good in moderation…you need eggs for protein.  I remember Grandma cutting the head off the chickens and plucking the feathers.  We used to pick our own eggs and now they are two dollars a dozen.”   How do you respond to that?

I plan on throwing up the white flag and saying “Happy Mother’s Day!!!”

on

I knew what I wanted to do when I was thirteen years old growing up just outside of Cleveland, Ohio.  I used to listen to Pete Franklin on WWWE talking sports EVERY night.  Then I listened to those silly FM air-personalities in the morning and they seemed to be having soooo much fun.  The one thing I never liked on the radio was music.  I took up time for what I wanted to do.  I wanted to talk to people, laugh, make people react, learn something, teach something, share something but most of all INVOLVE the listeners.  Sadly….today we call that facebook.

I don’t care about the song of the day, the high-low cash game, the phrase that pays, the secret sound, “Horriblescopes” or “Dirt-Alerts.”  I have enough drama in my life so why do I need to know which Real Housewife is in re-hab, which one got arrested, which one got a black eye, how big her engagement ring is or what she looks like in South Beach in a bikini?  It’s embarrassing to say….but somewhere I actually grew up.  I’m not ashamed to admit I like that “Call Me Maybe” song.  I don’t know who sings it.  I don’t care.  I just know that her mp3 is inside my smart phone and I can listen to it when I want to.

I worry….I worry a lot.  I used to be a real jerk…maybe I still am.  I never really paid attention in school because I just wanted to make people laugh.  Now I’m obsessed with knowledge, I have become a news junkie and I really try to think of others before myself (I’ll admit that I’m not really fond of that).  I love sports bars for two reasons….I love sports and I love beer.  I ride a Harley, have a few crazy tattoos and I really believe the government does not have our best interests in mind.  I was a selfish boyfriend/husband and now that I have my act together I couldn’t care less about dating.  I’ve made more mistakes in life than you have but I also know that has provided me with incredible stories.

Many nice people have offered me jobs in great cities playing ten songs an hour,  I’d be able to make great money but would it be fair to them or more importantly to who I am and what I want to do to take that job?  Integrity has become important to me.  I can’t lie to them and I can’t lie to myself.  All these “experts” will say ‘People wanna hear music.’  Really?  I think they are wrong. People want to communicate.  They want to be heard.  People want to contribute.  How much music are you getting on facebook?  How many songs are played on Twitter?  I’m not down on radio at all.  I see an INCREDIBLE opportunity.  Radio needs to ENGAGE the listener.  React in some way.  Laugh, agree, disagree, get mad,think back to a memory, relate, learn something….I’m rambling now but I guess this is more like one of those word documents ya get in a holiday card every year that tells ya what that status of someone’s family is.  This is where I came from, this is what I am about,and this is where I am determined to go.   Thanks for reading. 🙂

on

When I was in second grade my father surprised me by bringing home a puppy.  It was my first dog.  I named her “Lady” (give me a break on originality…I was eight years old).  Let’s fast forward to my first Xmas Eve away from home.  I was in Grand Rapids, Michigan working at WKLQ radio.  I wasn’t able to make it back to my family in Cleveland because there was a HUGE snowstorm and I had the flu and a temperature of 103 degrees.

I was literally sick AND very homesick.  I knew my mother was having the family at her house for Xmas Eve so I wanted to call  before people would arrive.  I was very sad but I knew a call to my mother would make my mood a bit better.  We were on the phone for about ten minutes when the I heard the doorbell ring at my childhood home.  Mom said, “Okay, I love you.  Gotta get the door.”  It immediately dawned on me.  Where was Lady’s bark?  That dog ALWAYS barked when the doorbell rang.  It truly was Pavlov’s dog.  I said to my mother, “Wait a minute.  How come Lady isn’t barking?”  The silence on the other end of the phone was almost infinitesimal.  Finally my mother said, “Ya know when ya said we would know when it’s time?”  I was stunned.  All I could muster out of my mouth was, “When did this happen?”  Mom didn’t even hesitate, “About three weeks ago.”

THREE WEEKS AGO?????  You decide to kill my dog three weeks ago and then break the news to me on Xmas Eve when I am 285 miles away from home and almost have a fever that is causing me to hallucinate?  Is it too late to ask Santa to bring me the ashes of my beloved pet on his way to my house?  Ho Ho Ho!

When I tell this story today, which I do often, my mother (who has an AMAZING memory) develops a severe case of amnesia.  She will always say, “That’s not the way it happened.”  I suppose O.J. said the same thing to Robert Shapiro.  Mom lives about ten miles from me here in West Palm Beach and the other day I told her I was planning on riding the Harley down to Key West.  She said, “Let me know.  I’ll watch your dog.”  I cancelled my trip.

 

on

I talk on the radio for a living.  The last time I hosted my morning radio show here in West Palm Beach was January 19, 2011.  This time off may have been a bit of a financial burden but it has also been the greatest gift of my life.  I’ve really gotten to know my mother.

Mom moved down here in 1987 and I finally made my way down here in 2004.  The irony was that I was close in distance but the time I put in at the radio station kept me from spending a lot of social time with mom.  I should have MADE more time for mom because she’s quite the remarkable person.  I was so caught up in MY world that valuable time slipped away.  There is an amazing moment in our lives when we look at our parents as “people” and they truly do become our “best friends.”  I lost my father twelve and a half years ago and we were already on that level and in the past nine months I’m happy to say mom and I are on that level as well.

I found out even without a college degree my mom is a remarkable businesswoman.  She’s much more stronger emotionally than me and she actually does possess a sense of humor.  This is all in addition to what I already knew about my mom:    no one will ever be able to have a garden like hers,  she makes the BEST salad in the world (she says the secret is to squeeze a bit of lemon around the bowl before ya toss), and she will ALWAYS over cook a pork roast because “If it’s pink inside, you’re gonna get worms.”

Mom spends a lot of time at my house because we both love to cook.  When she makes the ten-mile drive home I tell her to give me “one ring” when she gets home.  Suddenly the child has become the parent.  I learned a valuable lesson in my time off but now I think its time to get back to work……I really think I’m getting on my mother’s nerves.