I’m fifty-six years old. I’m just sitting back and watching the shit show that is 2020. I actually feel that I am very blessed to be in the position that I am currently in during this tumultuous time. It’s because I really don’t give a shit what people think about me anymore. It’s a wonderful feeling to be in this position. Please don’t think for one moment that I have stopped caring. That is far from the truth. I am at a point in my life where I have looked “behind the curtain” an am confident I figured out what is important in life.
I wasted a lot of time in my career focusing on what others thought of me. I compromised my beliefs in order to be that “team player.” If I truly had confidence in myself I would have followed my instincts. Don’t get me wrong; telling people what they want to hear has it’s benefits. You climb the corporate ladder quickly and are rewarded financially but you have sacrificed your integrity and you will never be happy.
Eventually the sacrifice of your integrity becomes too much to handle. You enjoy the two hundred dollar Friday night dinners and the one-hundred and fifty dollar jeans you purchase impulsively but something is missing in your life that cannot be filled financially. You don’t feel complete. You feel like a cartoon character that is on stage in the theatrics of life. I enjoyed my time in the world of radio when it was relevant but I was really playing a character. I wasn’t totally open and honest with myself so how could I expect to be open and honest with others? I had great parents. They raised me well. I needed to reexamine the basics. What did they stress that I missed out on?
It didn’t take me long to figure it out. It was “honesty.” I am not alone in this mistake. A lot of us make it in our journey in life. Being honest is not easy. People will not like what you have to say. People like to be assured. They do not like to be challenged. Do NOT make the mistake that I made. Get used to being honest from the beginning and not telling people what they want to hear. It will not be easy but you will eventually build respect and integrity. Funny thing about always telling the truth is you never have to think back to try and remember what ya said. Thank you for your time and for sharing with others. 🦾🦾🦾
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I turned 50 this week…only child…Dad died at 57…Mom still kicking it at 74 here with me in West Palm. I had a dream job in sports talk radio yanked from me this past week and I have just about blown through my life time savings. I haven’t worked in three years and four months because I believe in entertaining people on the radio, creating reaction, letting people vent, I want to hear their opinion, I want to learn but those opportunities are few and far between. If you are one of those people who believe music belongs on the radio I respectfully say to you “Hey dumb ass…you have a phone…you have all your favorite songs…get the kid with acne at AT & T to show ya how to put your ear buds in.”
I’m not bitter or angry…I’m confused. I am not a dummy. I’m not saying that because I’m full of myself I say that because I know that I am smart. I’m not trying to be a dick…I just happen to be smart. I say what people think. I’m honest. I tell the truth. I don’t hide from my past because it has taught me great lessons in life. I’m far from perfect but if anyone ever tells you “There are no bad ideas in brainstorming,” tell them this: “You’re full of shit.” There ARE bad ideas…that’s okay..not every hit has to be a home run….but don’t sit there and worry that someone’s “feelings” might be hurt. We are all in this together no matter what the cause. Will someone have the stones to stand up and say “Hey Ted..shitty idea.” I say stupid things and come up with dumb ass ideas all the time. We MUST fail in order to succeed.
Having my dream job slip away could have been the knock out punch….probably should have been…but I look at it this way…they didn’t deserve me. People SAY they wanna hear the truth right up until you give them the truth. They want you to kiss the ring…go with the plan…and be supportive when we have a team building seminar. What does squeezing a fucking balloon filled with sand have to do with making money? Here’s my seminar: “Work your ass off, offer ANY idea and/or suggestion or grab your iPad and get out of the office…..and post a selfie on the way out”
So here I sit..50 and 3 days…searching for my purpose. Last week, for the first time in 27 years I went to a church and asked to speak to a priest. I asked him not to quote scripture or try to recruit me back into the pews and he was very respectful of my wishes. I asked him the same question I still ponder “What is my purpose (BTW..not married…no kids either) and his response still chills me; “Look for your beginning….look for your roots. They are there…but you must notice them.” For some reason I made a connection with this man and just started to cry. Me…who rode the Harley there and covered my tattoo of a skull giving the finger with the lettering “Judge This” out of respect…was weeping in front of someone I had known for 20 minutes.
I want to make a difference in this world. Even though I truly am “lost” I feel that I am closer to finding my “roots” and “beginning” than ever before. I think we all at least should make the effort but if it involves squeezing a balloon filled with sand….I’d rather sell AMC Pacers in a used car lot.
What I predicted almost two years ago is happening. Notice how your favorite personality or morning show has just about disappeared from the air? Why? If you have a smart phone there is no reason for you to listen to music radio Radio will continue to change and become one of two stations: one that plays music with zero personality or one that is strictly content. The owners and managers of these stations are figuring out what to do right now and my guess is 70% will stay with music. To advertise on music station is throwing out your money.
REAL radio is content radio. This is where you are actually involved in the medium. You laugh, agree, disagree, text, tweet, facebook, call in and become [art of the discussion, or maybe even cry in your car.THAT’S radio. That’s a connection with you, the listener. That’s what I want to be a part of. That’s where I fit in. That’s what I’m holding out for.
I haven’t worked since January of 2011 and I truly am thankful. I have learned so much. I am a workaholic by nature so it forced me to reinvent myself. I have become a social media freak. This truly is the way people will market and make money in the future. Embrace it or be left behind.
I have created my own show prep site. I have taken my late father’s passion of being an ex cop and being disgusted by police brutality and corruption and made it a web site. I have polished my talk radio skills by establishing an internet radio show. I have been able to spend a lot of time with my mother and she truly is an amazing human being. I’m about to launch a new business in the next two weeks. Things happen for a reason.
I truly was miserable in my last year of working. I had compromised who I was and what I truly believe. I want to make a difference. I care about people. I think these are turbulent times and I firmly believe that we can all learn something new each day by interacting with others.
I’m opinionated. I know that. I also am very open to different views because we need to stop and listen to each other as it’s clear that no one has this “figured all out.” Things in the past that I would dismiss I now stop and analyze.
I want this world to be a nicer place. I want to hear “please” and “thank you.” I want people to smile. I think holding the door open for someone is natural. I want to make a difference.
I’ve made mistakes and I think we all do on a daily basis. A mistake really is an opportunity to learn and grow. I needed to stop, listen, look around, and truly take inventory of what happens around me. I vehemently believe that radio is a great opportunity to bond with the listener. We are all in this together. We all have our struggles. We all can learn from each other. Being caller “number nine” or hearing the latest Katy Perry song has nothing to do with this.
I used to never flinch on dropping $150 on a dinner. Now I know when chicken breasts are on sale at my local grocery store. I am ready for the next stage in life and my career. I hate to say it…but I think I have finally grown up.