So I’m looking at the cover of Sports Illustrated and Bruce Jenner is wearing his gold medal from 1976 around his neck, his cleavage is showing and he looks stunning in his sequin gown. I just read the previous sentence out loud and wondered how my father would respond if he still were alive and we were just talking on the phone. Look….I really don’t care what ya do, who ya do it with, where ya do it or when ya do it. Nobody is getting hurt and that applies to the above magazine cover. I just happen to think it’s fucking weird.
Let me be fair. There are probably many things that I do on a daily basis that I consider to be within the norm that would prompt you to call the guys with butterfly nets to come and take me away to a place where I would spend my days weaving baskets out of cooked spaghetti but I don’t think I’m alone when I sigh and mutter “That’s weird.” The guy that won the decathlon in 1976 wore silk shorts that barely concealed his finger shaped organ, had a haircut like one of The Monkey’s and then draped an American flag over his shoulders in a picture that was forever captured on the side of a cereal box. His name was Bruce Jenner. It wasn’t Caitlyn and he wasn’t wearing a Vera Wang cocktail dress and Jimmy Choo shoes. I know I sound like a hypocrite for saying I think it’s weird and at the same time I don’t care what ya do but I think you can do both and still be normal.
Take Progressive Insurance and Flo for example. What good does her bleach white outfit and Lucy Van Pelt haircut do me the next time I wrap my Harley around a tree? I didn’t think this was possible but I feel like I have confused myself and I actually feel like I can be part of a conversation those guys in the Sonic commercials have. Now THOSE guys are fucking weird.