There are a lot of things in this world I don’t understand and no matter how hard I try I don’t think some will ever become clear to me. The Running of the Bulls is one of those things. This annual event kicked off today with the first of eight runs with six powerful bulls chasing thousands of people through the streets of Pamplona. I have never really seen a bull up close but I know he has two sharp horns protruding from his head, he weighs a hell of a lot more than me and I really believe I should stay the hell out of his way at all times.
I should also point out that I am an animal lover. Maybe not a 100% animal lover because I hate spiders, I’m not fond of snakes and possums are kind of prissy and for their size I think they need a serious attitude adjustment. Bulls get a bad rap. No one likes someone who is “bull-headed” and no one is a fan of “bullshit” but what did the bulls do to be teased and tormented like this? Imagine being caged up with five of your buddies and a bunch of drunken, screaming lunatics are running circles around you down a cobblestone road in the heat of summer. I don’t know about you but I would be a bit pissed and want to put those horns on my dome to use.
Since they started keeping records in 1924 fifteen people have been gored to death by the bulls. I wish I could be the coach of these bulls because I think they can do much better than that. Today six people were injured including a 73 year-old that was gored. That’s right a 73 year-old. Usually you stop being a dumb ass when you retire and just piss people off by not knowing how to drive and taking too much time at the post office.
Well there are seven more runs to go and I hope you’ll join me in cheering “Let’s Go Bulls!!!!”
At least he wasn’t Al Gore-d.