I like sports bars.  The conversations I find myself involved in seldom resolve around sports.  This past weekend we decided to tackle the perplexing question of “Who is the biggest douche-bag in the world?”  Sadly, many qualified nominees come to mind.  Mel Gibson; I say that was a meltdown we’ll never see again so in my book one incident doesn’t make a douche-bag.  Disappear for awhile and people will forget everything.  Just ask Michael Richards….whenever he decides to reappear.

Kim Kardashian?  Annoying but not a douche-bag.  She over-stayed her welcome and married a cave-man.  At least Reggie Bush has played better since she became single.  Andy Dick?  Ohhh.  Much better choice.  Andy constantly reinvents ways to get arrested and into the news for the wrong reason.  This is a guy that got thrown out of a PORN AWARDS SHOW!  I can’t argue a vote for Andy Dick just like I can’t argue a vote for Guns and Roses front-man Axl Rose.  How can a man with a page called “Axl Rose is an Asshole” on Facebook NOT be considered for biggest douche ever?

As you can see I have given this some thought!!  There is only one person that I feel good about as a douche.  I gotta vote for Michael Lohan.  Its bad enough he IS a douche but he REALIZES he’s a douche and he continues to do “douchey” things.  If you want to fix things with your daughter don’t try and do it in the press by pointing a finger at her.  Stop dating twenty year olds.  YOU are a mess so any woman who wants anything to do with you is a mess as well.  Don’t be surprised when SHE acts like looney-tune because that is what you attract.  Get out of that wheel chair, stop screaming “victim”, and make something out of your life!  Ahhhhhh….the life-coach of Michael Lohan.  THAT would be a task…….