sextingSexting.  I just don’t get it. It makes about as much sense to me as sitting in front of Pee Wee Herman at a movie theatre.   Call me spoiled but I discovered streaming video on the internet a long time ago so I don’t think a few dirty words with a hash tag is gonna stiffen my putter.

Of course we’re talking about this nonsense again because Anthony Weiner is back at his old tricks again but he takes it to a different level by including a picture of his junk.   There are a lot of check points this process has to go through before one hits send and I shudder in confusion that his “idea” passed through all of them.

The penis is not pretty.  It kind of looks like an index finger missing a nail.  There is a reason why it is kept beneath underwear and pants AND a zipper to keep it from public viewing.  The only time it should be illuminated is when you are using it for waste removal purposes behind a closed-door otherwise the penis is meant to be nocturnal.

Let’s review the process that Anthony Weiner must have gone through to sext a picture of his manhood:  1)  Drop pants and expose penis  2) Grab iPhone and focus on the “subject”  3) Take a few pictures of your penis to get the “right one”  4)  Maybe Instagram it a bit for effect  5) Hit send.

At what point during this process does “BAD IDEA” enter into one’s mind?  Apparently with Anthony Weiner this never happened and he just sat there waiting for a reply.  That to me is the along the same line as a guy being naked and playing with puppets….it’s FREAKING creepy!!

So the next time ya get pissed at a friend for texting you a picture of some crappy salad they made with feta cheese on top….just remember…it could be worse.

Wiener.  It looks funny and it sounds funny.  Think back to when you were a kid playing in the empty lot with the neighborhood kids.  “You’re a wiener.”  Not exactly a term of endearment.  Now imagine what it must have been like to be a kid going through life with that last name?  Only the Scrotum family could possibly relate to how traumatizing it must have been.

Now if ya make it through your high school graduation without having a mental breakdown I think the name of “wiener” actually BUILDS mental toughness.  You would have developed incredible patience and self-restraint.  Now lets assume you actually become a US Congressman.  Talk about having the last laugh!  “Who’s your wiener NOW???” you would probably shout at your twenty year high school reunion.  All of this makes perfect sense.

Let’s say you pull out your smart phone, switch it to camera, take a picture of your aforementioned beef by-product, and start sending it off into cyber-space to females you don’t know.  WHAT????   I know.  What the hell was he thinking?  I can’t figure it out either.

People I KNOW don’t wanna see mine.  I don’t wanna see mine.  “The David” is one of the greatest sculptures of all time and even Michelangelo didn’t want David to show his to anyone.  There is a zipper on every pair of men’s pants to remind  male morons one thing “People DON”T wanna see it!”  This is not something people easily forget.  Something that seems so trivial actually has life-long repercussions.  Do ya think anyone really feels comfortable sitting in front of Pee-Wee Herman at a movie theatre?  So guys, wear a fanny pack, keep that comb-over, wear a shirt with a bunch of fish on it but PLEASE…….put that thing away!