I have not posted in over a month. I am in the middle of a huge transition in my life. I turned fifty-seven at the end of May and my eighty-one year-old mother relocated from West Palm Beach after thirty-four years to move in with me for the summer until she decides on what her next move will be. I’m an only child without any kids. I have severe OCD, am a neat freak and a germaphobe and am very much set in my ways. Mother is cut from a similar mold so this is a very interesting social experiment. It will be two weeks on Wednesday that she has arrived and in fourteen days I have experienced memories that will last forever.

Mom doesn’t know ANYTHING about Willoughby, Ohio. She might as well have relocated to Yemen. I only ride Harleys so Mom has to drive her car while I navigate. Don’t assume that an eighty-one year old will slow down at a railroad crossing. I found out the hard way. Think back to the opening of “Dukes of Hazzard.” That was me in a car Mom was driving less than a half a mile from my house. My lower lip is still bleeding from the landing. If there was a video game where the goal was to drive into every chuckhole on the street then Mother would be a World Champion. I won’t even share with you the fear I experience when she is wandering through a parking lot looking for that “perfect” space.” When it takes five minutes to get to the store it should not take you TEN minutes to park the car. This is all new to me as I have been away from Mother for three years. Time changes. People change. We all must prepare to adapt.

Random Picture of Old Lady With Beer. NOT my Mom!

Mom has always been there for me. I have been the focus of her life. I traveled the country doing morning radio while she relocated to West Palm Beach in 1987 in a company move. She left everything behind. I started having health issues in 2011. I had a heart block. I flat-lined in the ER for75 seconds. I was in a coma for six days. Mother was there when I woke up. I had a pacemaker installed. I’ve had a heart Catherization. I’ve been in AFib. I’ve had an ablation. I overcame addiction. I am NOT the victim. A lot of this could have been prevented but we can only control the present. We have the ability to change. We don’t have to repeat our mistakes. I am at a very interesting point in my life. My purpose is to be there for Mother like she has always been there for me. This is HER time. What can I do to make it easier for her? She HAS to feel out of her element. She abandoned everything she knew for thirty-four years. She has to develop a new routine. It can’t be easy.

Here is the lesson I have learned; Money, stature, your job, success and possessions mean NOTHING. They do NOT define who you are. When it is our time to go to the next level no one will be saying “I wish I worked more!!” There is NO loyalty in business. It’s best to be your own boss. I pray for patience and understanding. It’s a day by day process with Mother. I have learned so much in the past two weeks about her and about myself. It’s gonna be an interesting summer. Wish me luck. I know I am gonna need it.

Danny’s widely popular podcast DANNYLAND! will return soon!

failureDid I fail as an adult?  Am I selfish? I just turned forty-nine and my head is mentality stuck at about twenty-five and I really would have it no other way.  As I assess my life to this point I do wonder if others look at me as a failure because I don’t have any kids.   Does the procreation of kids really define who and what you were during your short time here on earth?

I’m an only child, been married twice, and I’m pretty much set in my ways.  I don’t think that I’m a jerk but I do know what I want, when I want it, how I plan on getting it and I never stray from being completely honest with everyone I meet.   That sounds good in theory but that doesn’t always rub people the way they wish to be rubbed.

I observe many people who have children and I know that I could be a good parent but it’s just something that doesn’t appeal to me.  I had a wonderful childhood and I’m just not sure I’d be able to duplicate the job my parents did.  Watching a father play catch with his son in the park brings a smile to my face but I never hear that inner voice saying “someday that will be you.”  Does this make me a failure as a human being?  What truly is my purpose?   I do know that I have a strong conviction for those that infringe upon our rights.  Is that my calling?  Is that my mission?

They say that “kids change you.”  What if it doesn’t change me?  I don’t want to gamble with the potential happiness of an innocent child to take that personal risk.   My hat and heart go out to all the parents that do this on a daily basis.  I truly am amazed and thankful for the wonderful job that you do.  I just hope that facing my honesty does not make you look at me as a failure in life as I am not sure of what that answer truly may be.

 

Danny Czekalinski does a weekly internet radio show Thursdays at 10AM EST on mysourceradio.com    Archives of the show can be heard HERE