Grand Rapids

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no dating for meMy last relationship ended 10-23-11.  I told myself that day I was gonna go a year without dating.  That time line is now over three years and counting and I really kind of like it.  I used to be very co-dependant.  I couldn’t even keep up with who I was with or who would be next.  I didn’t really “know me” and, quite frankly, I was wasting the time of a lot of really kind and intelligent women.  I needed to find out about me.  What makes me tick?  What are my faults?  How can I improve?

I’m an only child.  Left the house at 18 and got into radio full-time at 21.  I have lived in Wichita, Grand Rapids, Oklahoma City, Kansas City, Cleveland and now West Palm Beach.  I say what’s on my mind and not necessarily what people wanna hear.  I have a 4 bedroom 2 ½ bath house but have not slept in my bed in over three years.  I sleep on the couch and the TV has to be on 24 hours a day.  The only other rooms I use are the kitchen and my office that has three computers.  I have five televisions in the house.  I am a news and sports junkie.   The only alcohol I drink anymore is beer and that only happens twice a week at the most.  I have a Harley Road King Classic that I have invested 42K on.  I don’t own a suit.  I think my mother is the greatest woman I have ever met–although she does know how to drive me nuts.  As I figure out what to do with the rest of my life I exist in my boxers and my boxers alone.

My psychiatrist tells me I am “the most honest patient he has ever met.”  He has been in practice for 28 years.  I’m pretty sure that’s a compliment.  I’m a Libertarian but I don’t like to argue about politics.  Inform yourself about the issues and THEN go and vote.  I have zero tolerance for stupid voters…actually you can expand that to “stupid people.”  I’m not sure about what religion is “right” but I know there is a Supreme Being.  I don’t mind saying “I really don’t like Pat Robertson.”  I don’t have any children and am amazed and impressed by those that do and do it well.  We all make mistakes but it’s truly the way we ever learn.

So back to why I don’t date…..it has forced me to take a look at myself.  I have learned and changed so much in the past three years I only wish I did it sooner….like maybe when I was ten but I was too involved in climbing trees and playing baseball.

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When I was in second grade my father surprised me by bringing home a puppy.  It was my first dog.  I named her “Lady” (give me a break on originality…I was eight years old).  Let’s fast forward to my first Xmas Eve away from home.  I was in Grand Rapids, Michigan working at WKLQ radio.  I wasn’t able to make it back to my family in Cleveland because there was a HUGE snowstorm and I had the flu and a temperature of 103 degrees.

I was literally sick AND very homesick.  I knew my mother was having the family at her house for Xmas Eve so I wanted to call  before people would arrive.  I was very sad but I knew a call to my mother would make my mood a bit better.  We were on the phone for about ten minutes when the I heard the doorbell ring at my childhood home.  Mom said, “Okay, I love you.  Gotta get the door.”  It immediately dawned on me.  Where was Lady’s bark?  That dog ALWAYS barked when the doorbell rang.  It truly was Pavlov’s dog.  I said to my mother, “Wait a minute.  How come Lady isn’t barking?”  The silence on the other end of the phone was almost infinitesimal.  Finally my mother said, “Ya know when ya said we would know when it’s time?”  I was stunned.  All I could muster out of my mouth was, “When did this happen?”  Mom didn’t even hesitate, “About three weeks ago.”

THREE WEEKS AGO?????  You decide to kill my dog three weeks ago and then break the news to me on Xmas Eve when I am 285 miles away from home and almost have a fever that is causing me to hallucinate?  Is it too late to ask Santa to bring me the ashes of my beloved pet on his way to my house?  Ho Ho Ho!

When I tell this story today, which I do often, my mother (who has an AMAZING memory) develops a severe case of amnesia.  She will always say, “That’s not the way it happened.”  I suppose O.J. said the same thing to Robert Shapiro.  Mom lives about ten miles from me here in West Palm Beach and the other day I told her I was planning on riding the Harley down to Key West.  She said, “Let me know.  I’ll watch your dog.”  I cancelled my trip.

 

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Last week we all had a good laugh when we found out that White House gate crasher/reality star Michaele Salahi left her husband for Neal Schon, lead guitarist of Journey.  I gotta tell ya….this can happen to ANYONE! 

It’s 1989 and I’m a hot rocking, flame throwing night-time DJ in Grand Rapids, Michigan.  I was dating this girl for a few weeks and I was going to impress her by taking her BACKSTAGE at the RATT/Cinderella concert.  I know ladies….how could this NOT be anything BUT impressive.  So….concert ends…we’re backstage…the bands are there…I am very impressed with how impressed my date, Dawn D., must be with me.  I AM  Danny Impressive.  All hail ME!!!!!  It’s now time to leave as the stage is being broken down so I look to find my date.  Hmmmmmmm.  No sign of Dawn.  I corner a stage guy and asked if he saw the girl I was with.  He said  “Oh yeah…she and Freddy really hit it off..she left with him.”

LET ME CLARIFY THIS:  Freddy is Fred Coury the drummer for Cinderella.  He doesn’t commute.  He is a drummer in  a rock band that is on tour so basically my date dumped me and went on the road with Cinderella.  As I drove home……alone….I told myself, “She’s in for a load of heart ache and STD’s.  She’ll be sorry one day.”  Years later I found out that my “date” ended up MARRYING Fred Coury and they have two great looking kids. 

I learned a couple of things about myself that night in Grand Rapids.  Number One:  Stop trying to impress everyone and be yourself.  Number Two:  Never take a date backstage.