I’m fifty-six years old. I’m just sitting back and watching the shit show that is 2020. I actually feel that I am very blessed to be in the position that I am currently in during this tumultuous time. It’s because I really don’t give a shit what people think about me anymore. It’s a wonderful feeling to be in this position. Please don’t think for one moment that I have stopped caring. That is far from the truth. I am at a point in my life where I have looked “behind the curtain” an am confident I figured out what is important in life.
I wasted a lot of time in my career focusing on what others thought of me. I compromised my beliefs in order to be that “team player.” If I truly had confidence in myself I would have followed my instincts. Don’t get me wrong; telling people what they want to hear has it’s benefits. You climb the corporate ladder quickly and are rewarded financially but you have sacrificed your integrity and you will never be happy.
Eventually the sacrifice of your integrity becomes too much to handle. You enjoy the two hundred dollar Friday night dinners and the one-hundred and fifty dollar jeans you purchase impulsively but something is missing in your life that cannot be filled financially. You don’t feel complete. You feel like a cartoon character that is on stage in the theatrics of life. I enjoyed my time in the world of radio when it was relevant but I was really playing a character. I wasn’t totally open and honest with myself so how could I expect to be open and honest with others? I had great parents. They raised me well. I needed to reexamine the basics. What did they stress that I missed out on?
It didn’t take me long to figure it out. It was “honesty.” I am not alone in this mistake. A lot of us make it in our journey in life. Being honest is not easy. People will not like what you have to say. People like to be assured. They do not like to be challenged. Do NOT make the mistake that I made. Get used to being honest from the beginning and not telling people what they want to hear. It will not be easy but you will eventually build respect and integrity. Funny thing about always telling the truth is you never have to think back to try and remember what ya said. Thank you for your time and for sharing with others. 🦾🦾🦾
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I tell the truth. Many people tell ya what ya “wanna hear” and I’ll tell ya the truth again….I don’t like those people. They won’t support you in your time of need, they aren’t truly your friend and they are only in life for their own personal gain and benefit.
During the past couple of weeks some of you have asked “Why do some radio stations switch to all Christmas music weeks before the actual holiday.” From an industry standpoint I should shut my mouth and not be honest with you but that is not what I am about. Is it because they are so into the holiday spirit they can’t resist changing the playlist to feature nothing but holiday classics? Pardon me while I roll on the floor at the absurdity of that claim. The truth? To manipulate the ratings system.
Usually the station or stations that make this move aren’t doing well in the ratings. The switch to all holiday music a month and a half before Xmas increases their listenership, helps them for about 45 days in the ratings, gives them a temporary boost, then the station uses those results to increase their advertising rates afterwards until their ratings drop and return to normal. Now don’t get me wrong. From a business standpoint it’s a great idea but if they are telling you the reason is because “it’s time to get into the season” that’s what I refer to as a “Cleveland steamer.” To further insure maximum revenue in switching to all holiday music the station may also have this feature “sponsored” by a client. Why? You guessed it…..all about the almighty dollar.
I hope this clarifies your question and that you all have a wonderful holiday. Please wait a while before asking me why so many stations like to feature a “Song of the Day.”
I turned 50 this week…only child…Dad died at 57…Mom still kicking it at 74 here with me in West Palm. I had a dream job in sports talk radio yanked from me this past week and I have just about blown through my life time savings. I haven’t worked in three years and four months because I believe in entertaining people on the radio, creating reaction, letting people vent, I want to hear their opinion, I want to learn but those opportunities are few and far between. If you are one of those people who believe music belongs on the radio I respectfully say to you “Hey dumb ass…you have a phone…you have all your favorite songs…get the kid with acne at AT & T to show ya how to put your ear buds in.”
I’m not bitter or angry…I’m confused. I am not a dummy. I’m not saying that because I’m full of myself I say that because I know that I am smart. I’m not trying to be a dick…I just happen to be smart. I say what people think. I’m honest. I tell the truth. I don’t hide from my past because it has taught me great lessons in life. I’m far from perfect but if anyone ever tells you “There are no bad ideas in brainstorming,” tell them this: “You’re full of shit.” There ARE bad ideas…that’s okay..not every hit has to be a home run….but don’t sit there and worry that someone’s “feelings” might be hurt. We are all in this together no matter what the cause. Will someone have the stones to stand up and say “Hey Ted..shitty idea.” I say stupid things and come up with dumb ass ideas all the time. We MUST fail in order to succeed.
Having my dream job slip away could have been the knock out punch….probably should have been…but I look at it this way…they didn’t deserve me. People SAY they wanna hear the truth right up until you give them the truth. They want you to kiss the ring…go with the plan…and be supportive when we have a team building seminar. What does squeezing a fucking balloon filled with sand have to do with making money? Here’s my seminar: “Work your ass off, offer ANY idea and/or suggestion or grab your iPad and get out of the office…..and post a selfie on the way out”
So here I sit..50 and 3 days…searching for my purpose. Last week, for the first time in 27 years I went to a church and asked to speak to a priest. I asked him not to quote scripture or try to recruit me back into the pews and he was very respectful of my wishes. I asked him the same question I still ponder “What is my purpose (BTW..not married…no kids either) and his response still chills me; “Look for your beginning….look for your roots. They are there…but you must notice them.” For some reason I made a connection with this man and just started to cry. Me…who rode the Harley there and covered my tattoo of a skull giving the finger with the lettering “Judge This” out of respect…was weeping in front of someone I had known for 20 minutes.
I want to make a difference in this world. Even though I truly am “lost” I feel that I am closer to finding my “roots” and “beginning” than ever before. I think we all at least should make the effort but if it involves squeezing a balloon filled with sand….I’d rather sell AMC Pacers in a used car lot.