Pop Culture

on

jennifer lawrenceI have an iPhone.  I am not a celebrity.  I also don’t have a picture of my wang in my camera roll.  For the past three days now we have heard from celebrities that are “SHOCKED” that their camera phones were hacked and their nude selfies have been splattered across the internet.  Well let me slap you a dose of reality.  If ya wanna get naked with your better half I’m all for it but if ya don’t want to take the chance that a picture of your venus mound is gonna be on TMZ then don’t take a picture of you in your birthday suit with your smart phone.

Ya ever need to go and get your phone looked at?  You’ve had problems with it for hours and fear the worst but some 17 year old kid with bad skin fixes the problem in thirty seconds.  We all have seen this happen so where is the news when a serious hacker is able to crack the code of a smart phone?

Kate Upton has made millions showing off her massive cleavage and now she is “OUTRAGED” by a nude selfie of her and her boyfriend, Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander, posted on the internet.  If I were Kate I’d be “outraged” as well as there are more curves on the body of her boyfriend.  Put down the camera phone, call room service and order a burger.

Ya notice all the affected celebrities are women?  I guess only politicians are worthy of having their wang being newsworthy.   My other guess is that the female body really is beautiful.  A naked dude looks like he’s breaking the law and let’s be honest about the penis…..not very attractive….kind of resembles a very long thumb minus the nail.

These celebrities are all saying they are “victims” and that is one thing I agree with—victims of not using common sense.

on

sarah_silverman_emmysI like Sarah Silverman.  Last night at the Emmy’s a TV talking head went through her clutch and yanked out what appeared to be a pen.  Sarah openly admitted it was a vaporizer to smoke pot.  First of all TV talking head has no right to grab someone’s clutch and go through it.  If that’s what you rely upon for entertaining the audience perhaps you need to take your Wen hair back to the library and do some research on guests you may encounter.

If that’s you or I with a vape loaded with weed we go to jail.  Maybe Sarah has a medical marijuana card but the fact she can openly flaunt her vape on the red carpet at the Emmy’s while we spend millions trying to keep this weed from crossing the southern border is hypocrisy at its finest.

I don’t smoke weed.   It is against the law here in Florida and I am looking for a job and I need to respect and honor the law.  I am prescribed Xanax for anxiety and I hate it.  But let’s be honest about the Washington game:  Pharmaceutical companies give big money to the lobbyists…lobbyists control those that get elected or want to get reelected.  I’m not gonna sit here and say I never tried pot; I went to Ohio University and lived in Oklahoma City.  I know what it does and what it feels like but just like my evil blue pill filled with chemicals called Xanax no one on that drug or pot has any business operating a motor vehicle.  The real dilemma here is what is legal in one state is not legal in another and we are supposed to be the United States Of America.  My mother is very wise and I rely on her advice and knowledge and experience more frequently than ever.  I asked her the other day “Have you ever seen it this bad and do you think it can get better?”  Her answer was:  “No and I don’t know.”

Maybe as I get older it’s just natural to care less about how fast Justin Bieber is driving and care more about making a difference.  Many say to live every day like it’s your last but I think we should live every day like it’s our first…..I still believe we, as a group, can fix something that is drastically spinning out of control.

on

fergusonI like to laugh and write about funny things.  What is happening in Ferguson, MO is not funny and has consumed me for the past week.   I am a news junkie yet I am surprised when I find out how many are not aware of the unrest and racial tension in this town of just over twenty one thousand.

Cliff note version of what happened:  Michael Brown, 18, and friend were walking in the middle of the street.  Police officer tells them to get back on sidewalk.  The story differs from here.  According to police there was a struggle for his sidearm.  According to witnesses Brown ran from officer and was shot in the back.  Autopsy results have since shown the shots entered the front of Mr. Brown but that isn’t going to bring Mr. Brown back or squelch the pain of his family.  Of course the media vultures Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton swarm on the city like vultures looking for meat.   They are not there to help.  They are there for self promotion and basically a can of kerosene introduced to a bonfire.  They say they stand for civil rights but I concur and say they wish for civil unrest.

At the beginning of this unrest Ferguson police brought in TANKS and swat vehicles and shot rubber bullets and tear gas into the crowd of demonstrators including some news crews that were only trying to do their job.  The wise move was then made by the Governor to put the State Highway Patrol in charge of security.   So who is to blame?   As usual I believe truth lies in the middle.  There were characters of ill repute that demonstrated with violence and didn’t really care about the life of Michael Brown that was lost.  I also believe there are a few police officers that view themselves as “soldiers with toys” that have no regard for the law that they were sworn to uphold.  This is an example of the few ruining it for the many.

We all come from different ethnic backgrounds.   We may differ in color.  We may differ in religious beliefs but the one thing we have in common is that we are human beings.  I hope we all soon accept that reality and act in a brotherly way.

on

clown lebronI’m an idiot.  I have spent the past day listening to sports talk radio in Cleveland and Miami about the Lebron James situation:  which city will he choose to play for?  In the end it really is insignificant based on the fact that Hamas and Israel are bombing the shit out of each other but I am intrigued by the fact that so many people are interested in this and it’s being covered by every single media outlet.

Let’s not forget I am from Cleveland.  I love and miss my hometown.  I have and always will be a fan of all Cleveland sports teams.  LeBron is gonna make nearly $21 million bucks in either city to throw a ball in a basket.  Let’s not forget all the money he’ll make in endorsements.  LeBron is not just a player he is a brand.   So why hold two cities hostage by dragging out your decision?  Simple:  He’s a jackass!

Sociopath, narcissistic, selfish, bratty, punk, jerk, prima-donna…..any of the preceding words would fit but he also is the best basketball player on the planet.  If he returns to Cleveland I will not be cheering for him directly I will be cheering for my team like I do every year.

This country is falling apart, people are out of work, the middle class is disappearing, the Middle East is ready to implode, values and common courtesy towards fellow man are disappearing and I’m concerning myself about basketball player and where he will decide to make his millions.  Like I said….I’m an idiot.

on

Redskins Name FootballI’m not politically correct.  I’m 100% Polish and I LOVE a good Pollock joke.  I’m the last guy you would refer to as a racist and that’s probably why I don’t see what the big deal is about the Washington Redskin’s logo.

Some have said to me “How would you feel if a team were to be called “The Pollocks?”  I’d love it.   I can see people at a Pollock game yelling “What type of dumb play was that?”  I’d laugh and say “What do you expect from a team called The Pollocks?”

Again, my level of sensitivity to this subject is VERY low but I will tell ya what pisses me off:  Thanksgiving and Columbus Day.  Columbus was a very bad man.  In 1500, the Crown had him removed as governor, arrested, and transported in chains to Spain yet we have a day honoring him?

Thanksgiving?  The Pilgrims landed here, befriended the Native Americans and then took their land.  For this we have a four-day weekend and a giant parade.  Santa Claus is at the end of the parade so he must be after your casinos.

I completely understand those that take issue with Thanksgiving and Columbus Day but making such an issue of something on the side of a football helmet or a baseball cap?  I just don’t see it but would love to hear your comments.  Have a great weekend.

on

Raw meatSunday mornings, as a kid, I would have to wash both family cars.  I would always listen to Casey Kasem on my “boom-box” counting down the forty most popular songs in America.  As I write this the former host of AT 40  lies gravely ill and his second wife has been accused of throwing raw meat at her step-daughter Kerri.  Let me run that by you one more time……Jean Kasem was launching raw meat at Casey’s daughter, Kerri.

Jean Kasem doesn’t deny this but who would think of pelting a family member with ground chuck?  I’d understand a leg of lamb or a smoked herring but raw meat?  Have you checked the price of raw meat in stores these days?  Perhaps one of Dad’s old 45’s from ELO would make more sense.  Casey Kasem is bedridden with lung and bladder infections and allegedly has a form of dementia—in a way that may be a blessing because he won’t remember his nutball second wife hurling hamburger at his daughter.

So what does Jean Casem have to say about these allegations?  She told NBC News:  “In the name of King David, I threw a piece of raw meat into the street in exchange for my husband to the wild rabid dogs”  I’m not kidding.  I’m not well versed in the words of King David and his alleged endorsement of flogging someone with flank steak but in my ten minutes of trying to google a connection the closest I came was in the book of Samuel where King David would roast raw meat instead of eating boiled meat.   The only thing that bit of information does for me is clearly the meat in question couldn’t be corned beef.

Now…..on with the countdown.

on

batmanAre you serious America?  There is a FURY about Ben Affleck being chosen as the new Batman?  Let me be the one that breaks some terrible news to you…….Batman is not real.  There isn’t a Joker.  Catwoman doesn’t exist and if ya wanna see a penguin ya better go to the zoo.  I do have good news…I found Commissioner Gordon…but he’s not in Gotham City.  He’s the High Commissioner for Canada.

Ben Affleck is an actor.  He has a wife and a family.  HE IS NOT BATMAN!!!  He lives in a very large home and not in a freaking cave.  Am I the only sane one in this lunatic parade?   Life is tough.  We all face various trials and tribulations on a daily basis.  There are many things happening in this messed up world that we should be upset about.  NOT FREAKING BATMAN!!!

Seriously….if Ben Affleck as Batman still doesn’t seem to be a mondo jovial type tundra to you….you need to go to the bat phone and call a shrink.  Put the comic book down, move out of your parent’s house, stop riding your skateboard and be an adult.  There is a world out there.  You CAN make a difference.  If this still hasn’t registered with you then at least I gave it a try.  Now go back to clearing another level on Candy Crush.

 

Danny Czekalinski hosts an internet radio show called DANNYLAND on mysourceradio.com    Listen on Thursdays at 9AM EST.  Show archives can be found HERE

on

Justin BieberRole models.  When I hear people complain that sports stars and celebrities OWE their fans to be a good role model I cringe.  Sports stars and celebrities live in a privileged word that is not conducive to the real world 99% of us live in.

Justin Bieber is simply a spoiled brat that is in need of a good spanking.  I would want to go backstage just to put this punk over my knee and hit him with my mother’s wooden spoon.   We are to blame, as a society, for creating this monster.  Justin Bieber (for whatever reason) is a pop star.  That’s where it should end.  He shouldn’t be expected to exemplify good morals and good behavior.  He shouldn’t be considered a “peer” among your teenage kids.  The only “role model” a child should have is their parents.  That’s the responsibility you signed up for when you decided to bring a life into this crazy world.

Justin Bieber expects to be treated differently.  He expects you to “kiss the ring.”  He illustrates his gratitude of becoming a multi-millionaire through teenage concert ticket sales by spitting on his fans from a hotel terrace.  I shouldn’t just single out Justin Bieber for the list of pop culture vermin is long and plentiful.  Kim Kardashian became a star because a video tape of Ray J putting his tool in her “no-go hole” went viral.  I’m sorry but if that is what it takes to be a “star” I will pass on the initiation.

I am amazed by those that follow and revere any of the “Real Housewives.”  If ya wanna laugh at them and their sorry existence I can understand that but to praise them and fuel their gold digging mentality really is a sad comment of your own existence.  Let’s call these women what they truly are “Pretentious whores of _________ county”  Would you let your child be baby sat by one of these botox injected skanks?   Probably not.

I think we all were at one time a “know it all” teenager that was embarrassed to be seen in public with our parents.  I also remember something my late father told me in the basement of our home in Strongsville, Ohio:  “You will eventually realize that your mother and father will be the best friends you will ever have.”

Dad…you were right.  I’m just glad you passed before I had to attempt to explain Honey Boo-Boo.

on

sextingSexting.  I just don’t get it. It makes about as much sense to me as sitting in front of Pee Wee Herman at a movie theatre.   Call me spoiled but I discovered streaming video on the internet a long time ago so I don’t think a few dirty words with a hash tag is gonna stiffen my putter.

Of course we’re talking about this nonsense again because Anthony Weiner is back at his old tricks again but he takes it to a different level by including a picture of his junk.   There are a lot of check points this process has to go through before one hits send and I shudder in confusion that his “idea” passed through all of them.

The penis is not pretty.  It kind of looks like an index finger missing a nail.  There is a reason why it is kept beneath underwear and pants AND a zipper to keep it from public viewing.  The only time it should be illuminated is when you are using it for waste removal purposes behind a closed-door otherwise the penis is meant to be nocturnal.

Let’s review the process that Anthony Weiner must have gone through to sext a picture of his manhood:  1)  Drop pants and expose penis  2) Grab iPhone and focus on the “subject”  3) Take a few pictures of your penis to get the “right one”  4)  Maybe Instagram it a bit for effect  5) Hit send.

At what point during this process does “BAD IDEA” enter into one’s mind?  Apparently with Anthony Weiner this never happened and he just sat there waiting for a reply.  That to me is the along the same line as a guy being naked and playing with puppets….it’s FREAKING creepy!!

So the next time ya get pissed at a friend for texting you a picture of some crappy salad they made with feta cheese on top….just remember…it could be worse.