West Palm Beach

on

yeller

I used to be a yeller.  I would yell at just about everyone and everything.  Someone would disagree with me and I would raise my voice.  Someone would yell at me and I would be sure to yell back.  Someone would cut me off in traffic and I would be sure to yell in anger (now I just flip them off).  Recently I had an epiphany:  yelling really affects your credibility.

There are three good reasons not to yell:

  • It takes too much energy.  I look at energy as fuel in your tank and yelling just burns too much gas.
  • If someone yells at you and you take a deep breath, pause and respond with “I’m sorry I didn’t realize what you were saying because you were yelling.” That makes them look like what they truly are; an asshole.
  • Yelling leads to anger. Think of all the times you made bad decisions in your life.  Chances are it was preceded by you yelling and then followed by making a bad judgment.  The only exception I can think of is years ago doing too many shots of patron and waking up to see two female tundra twins making ham sandwiches in my kitchen while passing a crack pipe.

When is the last time that yelling lead to a positive result?  Yelling at a loved one makes you feel bad afterwards.  Yelling at your spouse or better half usually leads to a slap in the face or at the very least a slamming of a door.  Yelling at a cop will never get you out of a ticket and yelling at a water park while making balloon animals and wearing clown makeup will get you arrested.  Perhaps the latter was not the best example.

Life is too short.  Realize there are a lot of stupid people in this world and try laughing at them instead of yelling at them.  I may not be the smartest person in the world but it’s amazing how people will suddenly view you as a superior intellectual just because you don’t react to adversity by raising your voice.  So this week try to remain calm, cool and collected or I may just have to yell at you.

on

shit

Something has happened to me within the past year……I just don’t give a shit anymore.  Now don’t assume that I don’t care because that is totally different.  I think the greatest strength one can have is to admit and address their greatest weakness.  Looking back at my mistakes in life (and I have made more than most people) I realize that the majority of them were made because I actually gave a shit about what people thought of me (that and too many shots).

When you give a shit you tend to get angry with people that don’t agree with you or question what you say.  Getting dropped as a friend on Facebook is a great example.  There are people out there that react to this action like a loved one was injured in a car crash.  Telemarketers are another great example.  I used to have a meltdown when they would call even though I registered on the “do not call list” (it’s run by our government so why would you expect it to be effective?).  I now look forward to these calls and using my creativity and mind to frustrate them to the point that they raise their voice and/or hang up.  Then I laugh like Vincent Price at the end of Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.”

So what do I care about?  My mother, my faith in God, kindness, empathy, unselfishness, being polite, respecting your elders, TV and cold beer to name a few.  I’m not married, I don’t have kids, I don’t give a shit who ya vote for and I really don’t give a shit what ya made for dinner and posted on Facebook.  I used to have a terrible temper which leads to anger and usually then to yelling or screaming.  We all have done it but step back for a moment and think about when you witness others doing it.  It affects their credibility and even if they are correct they give the impression that they aren’t confident in their opinion.  If they did they would relish in the concept of getting others to, as my father used to say, scream and yell like a “raped ape.”

Now there are situations where you may not give a shit but they suddenly turn into a situation you care about.  A good example of this is those that text and drive.  If they happen to drive off a bridge, land in a canal and become an afternoon snack for an alligator I really don’t give a shit.  If they rear end an innocent party and that person ends up looking like they were arrested by the Palm Beach Sheriff’s Department then I care.

Life is a strange, unpredictable and a stressful journey.  What you think matters in the moment usually will not matter in the future.  Want to know what really puts everything in perspective?  Bury a parent, a child or anyone you love.  We all are here for a reason and it’s not to have a big house, expensive car, eat at a fancy restaurant or have a three hundred dollar purse (My wallet cost twenty bucks and I think I have six bucks in it and three quarters in my pants…….which I never wear at home).  There ARE bad ideas in brainstorming (think Crystal Pepsi).  People that say “I want you to be honest” really mean “I want you to agree with me.”  I have learned that those that say that to you actually are insecure of their own beliefs and abilities.   Feel free to disagree with me but just know that I really don’t give a shit.