I grew up in Strongsville, Ohio. At the end of my street, about four hundred feet from my driveway, there was a Sohio gas station. In 1977 I started to hang out there. Times at the gas station were much different back then. You would pull up to the pump, a bell rings inside and the “gas station guy” would come out and fill up your tank. When no one was wanting gas the “gas station guy” would work on a car that was in need of service in the garage. I was thirteen. I thought this type of atmosphere was great. I soon discovered the evils that permeated the gas station.

They had a cigarette machine. I had a bunch of quarters in my piggy bank so I started buying packs of Vantage. I didn’t know ya had to inhale so I could have experienced the same thing by just being inside aa burning building. They had stacks of porn. I thought it was cool but in hindsight it’s a bit disturbing to imagine a man in his twenties passing the time at his job by reading Penthouse forum. They had weed. That’s right. Smoked a joint before I ever tasted alcohol. Thirty-eight bucks for an ounce of Columbian Gold. At this point in my life I sincerely thought I landed on Fantasy Island.

Mom put a stop to me going to the gas station when she caught me with some H-100’s. H-100’s are equal to a quarter stick of dynamite. I bought a gross of them for forty bucks at where else????? The gas station!!! For FUN us kids would go into the woods and put H-100’s in freaking trees and we would just laugh as a ten year old maple eviserated into a pile of mulch. Who needs a video game when you can enjoy the great outdoors while blowing shit up?? Gas stations sure are different today. You can get a freaking latte’, some lottery tickets, a ham sandwich and a snow brush except you pump your own gas. They now refer to this place as a “convenience store.” I will always remember what it used to be before it went through rehab. It was the portal to temptation. It was and always will be…..the GAS STATION!!!!

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deli store owner

GREAT stuff to close out the week.  Only weird and warped stuff from the debate last night.  Naked pictures on a smart phone gets teacher fired.  Pam Anderson tells us where one of her kids was conceived.

sarah_silverman_emmysI like Sarah Silverman.  Last night at the Emmy’s a TV talking head went through her clutch and yanked out what appeared to be a pen.  Sarah openly admitted it was a vaporizer to smoke pot.  First of all TV talking head has no right to grab someone’s clutch and go through it.  If that’s what you rely upon for entertaining the audience perhaps you need to take your Wen hair back to the library and do some research on guests you may encounter.

If that’s you or I with a vape loaded with weed we go to jail.  Maybe Sarah has a medical marijuana card but the fact she can openly flaunt her vape on the red carpet at the Emmy’s while we spend millions trying to keep this weed from crossing the southern border is hypocrisy at its finest.

I don’t smoke weed.   It is against the law here in Florida and I am looking for a job and I need to respect and honor the law.  I am prescribed Xanax for anxiety and I hate it.  But let’s be honest about the Washington game:  Pharmaceutical companies give big money to the lobbyists…lobbyists control those that get elected or want to get reelected.  I’m not gonna sit here and say I never tried pot; I went to Ohio University and lived in Oklahoma City.  I know what it does and what it feels like but just like my evil blue pill filled with chemicals called Xanax no one on that drug or pot has any business operating a motor vehicle.  The real dilemma here is what is legal in one state is not legal in another and we are supposed to be the United States Of America.  My mother is very wise and I rely on her advice and knowledge and experience more frequently than ever.  I asked her the other day “Have you ever seen it this bad and do you think it can get better?”  Her answer was:  “No and I don’t know.”

Maybe as I get older it’s just natural to care less about how fast Justin Bieber is driving and care more about making a difference.  Many say to live every day like it’s your last but I think we should live every day like it’s our first…..I still believe we, as a group, can fix something that is drastically spinning out of control.

3 stoogesProfessional athletes, marijuana, and our government….been thinking about these topics over the weekend because they all are linked together by one common factor:  stupidity.

Follow me here….or if you can’t that’s good because it will illustrate my point at how it is said “we must all get along” when in actuality all we do is contradict ourselves.

The government has spent  one trillion dollars on the “War on Drugs” since 1971.  Millions are spent every day guarding the southwest borders  of our country so marijuana isn’t smuggled into our country.  Twenty two of our states and The District of Columbia have legalized it albeit mostly for medical purposes.  Two states, Colorado and Washington, have made marijuana legal for personal use.  If someone told me…”show up to work early, but only work to 50% of your potential, take a short lunch, spend 30 minutes juggling bowling pins and the rest of the afternoon pretend to be working at your desk but we want you to be surfing facebook and making posts of how much you hate it here”….that would make more sense.  In fact we all know the latter of my absurd situation happens quite frequently.

Professional athletes.  Quite the oxy-moron don’t ya think?  They get millions to run fast and jump high.  They sign contracts that guarantee them millions knowing they will be tested for marijuana (Yes the same plant that is legal medically in 22 states and legal in 2) yet they still insist on smoking weed.

Let’s look at the case of Cleveland Browns wide receiver:  he received a scholarship to play at Baylor…in 2010 he and a teammate were found sound asleep in the drive thru at a local Taco Bell and weed in the car.  In July 2011 he was suspended from the Baylor team for a positive marijuana test.  He transferred to Utah but decided to just sit out a year and go for the NFL.  July 2012 he gets a 5.3  million dollar deal with the Browns……that’ll by ya a lot of chicken soft tacos.  In June 2013 he was suspended by NFL for first two games of that season for………YES testing positive for weed.  He had a great year last year with the most receiving yards in the NFL and being named to the Pro Bowl.  Guess what happened May 9, 2014?  I think you have this story figured out and Gordon more than likely will be suspended for the year.   Our story doesn’t end there…a week ago…Gordon gets pulled over for speeding, cop smells weed, and one of the three passengers produces a bag with less than 200 grams of marijuana.   Ya know that’s good stuff….millionaire weed…I can picture them speeding because Taco Bell was about to close.  Gordon was ticketed just for speeding and not for possession of the pot because his friend said it was his……REALLY?   Ya want me to believe that???  Here is what probably happened:  Cue siren and lights…GORDON: “Oh shit.  Hey Levi hold this bag.   LEVI:  Are you crazy?   GORDON:  I’ll give ya $100K when we get back to the crib.    LEVI:  Gimmie that bag.

Our government and professional athletes…the best Stooge routine ever.