I was raised Catholic so Easter was kind of big deal to me as a kid but there are so many things that didn’t make sense to me then and they surely don’t now.  It started on Good Friday when my mother would make me come inside the house between 1-3PM because “that is the time Jesus died.”  With leap years and Daylight Savings Time over the past two thousand years shouldn’t Good Friday actually be before Valentines Day?  How does sitting downstairs silently for two hours on a sunny Friday afternoon give me a higher place in heaven?  I don’t think the secret to everlasting life can be found being quiet and lazy.

Easter Sunday was a big deal.  This is the day that Jesus rose from the dead.  I would think that if this occurred today it would be the main topic on CNN and they would call in Wolf Blitzer for a special Sunday edition of “The Situation Room.”   I can even see Nancy Grace yelling at Jesus, “C’mon!  Do REALLY expect me to believe that you moved that rock all by yourself!!!!!!!

So we have this wonderful man who was without sin and died on the cross for all of us so we can have everlasting life and the way we show our thanks is by hiding hard-boiled eggs inside our house?  I sure hope the Cadbury family is giving thanks to Jesus because he made them millionaires.  What’s with the bunny?  I mean seriously…the Easter Bunny is one step below a clown on my creep-o-meter.  I remember watching rabbits appear at dusk in my backyard as a kid and I would NEVER be able to get within 20 yards of them.  The Easter Bunny is so tall he could play point guard on most NBA teams, he walks on two feet, doesn’t hop, and he likes to hug and shake hands.  Something is not making sense here.  Try bringing the Easter bunny to church with ya one day and see how quickly the cops show up.   Instead of gnawing on a leg of lamb you and your bunny friend will be in a rubber room weaving baskets out of cooked spaghetti.

I hope you and your family have a Happy Easter….that’s all for now…I think the tooth fairy is at my door.

Just the image of Nancy Grace sets off emotion in people.  There is no grey area with her.  I’ll be honest….I’m not a fan or hers but I respect how she has branded herself.  If you ever are in public and a screaming match breaks out……stick around…there is a pretty good chance Nancy Grace will show up.  The recipe is quite simple:  Take some Jerry Springer, a dash of Larry King, sprinkle a small amount of Meet The Press, focus on a missing, cute, white girl, take calls that only agree with you, and scream at people on your panel.

I actually lay awake at night fearing that Susan Moss (her number one screaming panelist) will gnaw her way through my dry wall and devour my foot like a malnourished komodo dragon.  If I acted as a kid like these panelists do on her show, I would have been sent to my room without dinner.  Nancy Grace tries to pull her act at my parent’s dinner table then mom is getting the wooden spoon and dad is loosening his belt.

Just when ya think her head will spin around and pea soup will be forced from her trachea she takes a call about her twin girls.  A “random caller” (really?  we all know they are set up) asks Nancy “Ooooooo Nancy….how ARE the little ones?”  Suddenly Nancy’s face morphs into this sweet, serene look and she coos, “Bless you.  My babies are my anchor.  My strength.  The reason I breathe.”  That’s great Nancy…aren’t they sixteen now?  Maybe one of them is engaged to Hef.  It’s not like they just came home from the NICU.  Again, Nancy KNOWS how to play it.  She KNOWS how to play YOU.

Nancy Grace just had her highest ratings EVER last month.  Like her or hate her you KNOW her.  For today…that’s all I have….Good night friend.  🙂