This Country has become K-Mart—-ya can’t walk down an aisle without finding something broken. Anyone can walk into the White House. People are freaking about Ebola when roughly 36,000 die from the flu each year. The guy that was supervising a Haz-Mat team transporting an infected patient to a departing plane was in a short sleeve shirt carrying a clipboard and HE was in charge.
Over 48 million Americans live in poverty. No one says “please” or “thank you” any more. This week some college football players left a tip covered in feces. Let me break that down for ya; they must have wiped their ass with some currency and left it on the table. The middle class is evaporating like steam off a hot lunch. They drug test those looking for jobs but marijuana is legal in two states and medicinally 23 states have made it legal but this country has no problem dishing out Xanax and antidepressants like they are flying out of a broken Pez machine.
This week in Florida the two candidates for governor squared off in their first debate but one wouldn’t come out to start the debate because the other candidate had a fan under his podium. What is this a Van Halen concert rider? Get the other guy a freaking fan or if ya can’t find one take the fan away from the one that has it. The state of Florida is Darwin’s waiting room and we need to focus now more than ever on the issues. The sad fact is lobbyists control this country. Getting elected takes money and when you get into office you have to be a fool or in complete denial not to realize those big bucks sway votes.
So many brave men and women served in the military and countless gave their lives while in the line of duty. We owe it to the veterans to get our shit together and not worry about the size of a soft drink or the logo of a sports team. Wanna change the name of the team??? Buy the freaking team. Now my blood pressure is boiling and I don’t have health care because I am part of the record 92 million out of the work force. The American dream has turned into a nightmare…..better go and take my Xanax.
Follow me here….or if you can’t that’s good because it will illustrate my point at how it is said “we must all get along” when in actuality all we do is contradict ourselves.
The government has spent one trillion dollars on the “War on Drugs” since 1971. Millions are spent every day guarding the southwest borders of our country so marijuana isn’t smuggled into our country. Twenty two of our states and The District of Columbia have legalized it albeit mostly for medical purposes. Two states, Colorado and Washington, have made marijuana legal for personal use. If someone told me…”show up to work early, but only work to 50% of your potential, take a short lunch, spend 30 minutes juggling bowling pins and the rest of the afternoon pretend to be working at your desk but we want you to be surfing facebook and making posts of how much you hate it here”….that would make more sense. In fact we all know the latter of my absurd situation happens quite frequently.
Professional athletes. Quite the oxy-moron don’t ya think? They get millions to run fast and jump high. They sign contracts that guarantee them millions knowing they will be tested for marijuana (Yes the same plant that is legal medically in 22 states and legal in 2) yet they still insist on smoking weed.
Let’s look at the case of Cleveland Browns wide receiver: he received a scholarship to play at Baylor…in 2010 he and a teammate were found sound asleep in the drive thru at a local Taco Bell and weed in the car. In July 2011 he was suspended from the Baylor team for a positive marijuana test. He transferred to Utah but decided to just sit out a year and go for the NFL. July 2012 he gets a 5.3 million dollar deal with the Browns……that’ll by ya a lot of chicken soft tacos. In June 2013 he was suspended by NFL for first two games of that season for………YES testing positive for weed. He had a great year last year with the most receiving yards in the NFL and being named to the Pro Bowl. Guess what happened May 9, 2014? I think you have this story figured out and Gordon more than likely will be suspended for the year. Our story doesn’t end there…a week ago…Gordon gets pulled over for speeding, cop smells weed, and one of the three passengers produces a bag with less than 200 grams of marijuana. Ya know that’s good stuff….millionaire weed…I can picture them speeding because Taco Bell was about to close. Gordon was ticketed just for speeding and not for possession of the pot because his friend said it was his……REALLY? Ya want me to believe that??? Here is what probably happened: Cue siren and lights…GORDON: “Oh shit. Hey Levi hold this bag. LEVI: Are you crazy? GORDON: I’ll give ya $100K when we get back to the crib. LEVI: Gimmie that bag.
Our government and professional athletes…the best Stooge routine ever.
Today is a big day if you like to partake in the inhalation of marijuana. The time of 4:20 PM was singled out as the appropriate time during the day to smoke the wacky weed by an editor of High Times. Although I don’t smoke pot myself I have in the past and I am a huge advocate of the legalization of marijuana. Our prisons are filled with people that have consumed and sold something that is legal in some states. That seems like a silly and huge contradiction to me.
Opponents of the legalization of marijuana will argue that it’s a “gateway drug” that will lead to experimentation and abuse of other drugs. Let me set the record straight: It leads you to the gateway of Pizza and Funions. Legalization of pot would have a drastic effect on this country. Video game sales would skyrocket and furniture stores would experience a record amount of sofa and recliner sales. The police would not be happy as there never would be another speeding ticket written again. The speed limit on the highways would have to be reduced to 35 miles an hour. Imagine how much fuel we would conserve.
Legalize weed and your husband will never say to you “There’s nothing to eat in this house.” He’ll grab an onion, two slices of bread, some chocolate syrup and a can of tuna and proudly proclaim he has discovered “the greatest sandwich in the world!” The divorce rate would decrease dramatically as your fights would go like this: SHE: “Didn’t I tell you yesterday to take out the trash?” HE: “I’m not sure.” SHE: “Me either. Where are the Doritoes.”
So if you happen to be driving this afternoon around 4:20PM and it seems like there aren’t a lot of people on the road, don’t worry, they’ll all be at The Golden Corral.