Mass-ConfusionSo Rob O’Neil is the guy that allegedly put a bullet in Osama Bin Laden’s dome and he gave an interview to Fox News and a bunch of people are upset.  Maybe it’s just me but I wanna hear what this guy has to say rather than seeing the latest selfie Kim Kardashian has tweeted of her turn cutters hanging out.

I also wanna know why they dumped his corpse at sea so quickly.  Look….this is the US Government we are talking about.  They aren’t exactly truth mongers with us citizens.  I’m sure we could prop him up and drag him around the US on a mini-tour like “Weekend at Bernies.”   Have him be a guest host on “The Voice.”   Have a “Terrorist Week” on Jeopardy.  Let him drive a cab for a weekend in New York City.  The possibilities are endless.

I illustrate the absurd by being absurd for a reason.  The majority of Americans bitch about the economy and the direction this nation is headed but do they really spend the time studying what is happening with our government or are they more interested in the dilemma of if Bruce Jenner wants a vagina?

92 million Americans are out of the work force….that’s different than unemployment and far more concerning.  It is estimated that five out of ten jobs today will no longer exist in ten years but we all seem to be giddy about landing on a comet.  We can’t find a cure for cancer, ALS, AIDS etc., but we are kicking the tires of a rock a half a billion kilometers away just to find Jason Priestly’s career?

We are soooooo concerned about being politically correct when this country was built on being a melting pot of cultural differences.  Different is good.  It’s the yin to the yang.  It causes one to look at a different opinion and heaven forbid we LEARN from these situations.  I broke my iPhone this week, shattered the screen and the first thing I muttered was “Dumb Pollock.”  I didn’t expect Al Sharpton to show up at my door.  I didn’t print flyers or t-shirts or try and organize a march.  I went out and found a kid with greasy hair, bad skin, and lots of piercings and had him fix it.  I paid for his services with money that has “In God We Trust” on the back of it while many schools have banned the Pledge of Allegiance because it contains “One nation under God.”  If this country was a horse we would put it to sleep.  Wake up America before the day comes because it’s closer than you think.

jennifer lawrenceI have an iPhone.  I am not a celebrity.  I also don’t have a picture of my wang in my camera roll.  For the past three days now we have heard from celebrities that are “SHOCKED” that their camera phones were hacked and their nude selfies have been splattered across the internet.  Well let me slap you a dose of reality.  If ya wanna get naked with your better half I’m all for it but if ya don’t want to take the chance that a picture of your venus mound is gonna be on TMZ then don’t take a picture of you in your birthday suit with your smart phone.

Ya ever need to go and get your phone looked at?  You’ve had problems with it for hours and fear the worst but some 17 year old kid with bad skin fixes the problem in thirty seconds.  We all have seen this happen so where is the news when a serious hacker is able to crack the code of a smart phone?

Kate Upton has made millions showing off her massive cleavage and now she is “OUTRAGED” by a nude selfie of her and her boyfriend, Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander, posted on the internet.  If I were Kate I’d be “outraged” as well as there are more curves on the body of her boyfriend.  Put down the camera phone, call room service and order a burger.

Ya notice all the affected celebrities are women?  I guess only politicians are worthy of having their wang being newsworthy.   My other guess is that the female body really is beautiful.  A naked dude looks like he’s breaking the law and let’s be honest about the penis…..not very attractive….kind of resembles a very long thumb minus the nail.

These celebrities are all saying they are “victims” and that is one thing I agree with—victims of not using common sense.

sextingSexting.  I just don’t get it. It makes about as much sense to me as sitting in front of Pee Wee Herman at a movie theatre.   Call me spoiled but I discovered streaming video on the internet a long time ago so I don’t think a few dirty words with a hash tag is gonna stiffen my putter.

Of course we’re talking about this nonsense again because Anthony Weiner is back at his old tricks again but he takes it to a different level by including a picture of his junk.   There are a lot of check points this process has to go through before one hits send and I shudder in confusion that his “idea” passed through all of them.

The penis is not pretty.  It kind of looks like an index finger missing a nail.  There is a reason why it is kept beneath underwear and pants AND a zipper to keep it from public viewing.  The only time it should be illuminated is when you are using it for waste removal purposes behind a closed-door otherwise the penis is meant to be nocturnal.

Let’s review the process that Anthony Weiner must have gone through to sext a picture of his manhood:  1)  Drop pants and expose penis  2) Grab iPhone and focus on the “subject”  3) Take a few pictures of your penis to get the “right one”  4)  Maybe Instagram it a bit for effect  5) Hit send.

At what point during this process does “BAD IDEA” enter into one’s mind?  Apparently with Anthony Weiner this never happened and he just sat there waiting for a reply.  That to me is the along the same line as a guy being naked and playing with puppets….it’s FREAKING creepy!!

So the next time ya get pissed at a friend for texting you a picture of some crappy salad they made with feta cheese on top….just remember…it could be worse.