One of the things I have learned in life (besides not asking for a phone number at last call) is that your first reaction is not necessarily the right reaction.  Colin Kaepernick is a quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers and he is the talk of the country this morning.  It’s not because of what he did on the football field it’s because of what he did, or actually didn’t do, off the football field.

On Friday night he sat on the bench and refused to stand for the National Anthem prior to the game against the Green Bay Packers.  My initial reaction was one of outrage as I believe, or have been conditioned, to stand, place my hand over my heart and remove my cap when the aforementioned anthem is played.  Kaepernick refused to stand and he makes millions of dollars playing a “game” in a country of freedom.  What was his reason behind this refusal?  “I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color,” Kaepernick told NFL Media in an exclusive interview after the game. “To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.”  Hmmmm.  My initial reaction was “what a dick.”  (Trent Richardson, former Browns first round pick does the same thing but it’s at his house, on the couch with 15 family members running around like bulls in Mexico but that’s because he sucks and can’t find a team that wants him to put on a helmet).

After I thought about it (translation:  Having a martini and trolling on Plenty of Fish) I realize the very fact that he can do what he did is what this country was built upon.  Freedom of speech.  Do I agree?  No.  That’s not the point.  We can’t let our hearts rule our mind.  We need to concentrate on the first Amendment to our Constitution.  If you are like me then you never paid attention in American History and instead looked at the blossoming breasts of your fellow female classmates (am I being TOO honest?).  Let me refresh your mammary:  Freedom of speech is the right to communicate one’s opinions and ideas without fear of government retaliation or censorship.

Although I do not agree with his decision I have to respect his right to do so.  The irony is that many Americans have fought, and given their lives, for his right to sit on his ass during the playing of our National Anthem.  Football players are tough.  I challenge Mr. Kaepernick to do this in front of a veteran as I believe those are our true heroes and their dedication and sacrifice has nothing to do with three hours on sixteen Sundays out of the year.

ImageSo i see this article where Lindsay Lohan has encouraged others to start tweeting their dreams.  I don’t know if that is a good idea.  Dreams are in the subconscious for a reason:  If you ever shared these thoughts in the conscious world chances are you’d be taken away by a bunch of guys in white hawking some butterfly nets.

For instance I just woke up from a nap and here are the highlights of my dream.  I was back in high school and late for football practice.  I was forty-eight years old but still trying out for the varsity team.  George Clooney was on the team as well but he wasn’t going to practice.  I tried to run to the practice field but I couldn’t’ because my legs were heavy.  I decided to go to class instead and when I was in the band room It had turned into a pizza parlor and I got an Italian meat ball sub.  All of a sudden I notice the food and beverage director from when I was a bartender at the Holiday Inn was now the principal.  He said I had to leave the school because he knew I was serving the kids drinks.  I went to the student parking lot and couldn’t find my car.  All of a sudden the rent-a-cop turned into a giant cobra and started hissing at me.  It was at this point that I woke up.

Now imagine if I picked up a bull horn and read the above paragraph aloud in the middle of a shopping mall.  How long before ya think I would be weaving baskets out of cooked spaghetti?

The lesson here is simple:  sometimes it’s good to keep your thoughts to yourself.


Have ya heard that the sky is REALLY falling?  Within the next 24 hours twenty-six pieces of space junk will fall to earth.  Space junk?  Sounds like something an astronaut would pull out of his suit after too many patrons.  NASA tells us that the chance of any one person getting hit with debris is 1 in 3,200.  The heaviest piece of debris will weigh 348 pounds.  I’m not sure how YOUR luck in life has been but after reading this I am fully expecting  to get crushed by the weight of an NFL lineman within the next day.

So ya get pummelled by a piece of space junk.  What is your next move?  This is America so we sue.  Who ya gonna sue the government?  The government is broke and in huge debt so even if ya win your case you’re not gonna collect.   Our government only has disposable cash for foreign interests.  With these obstacles in mind I have come up with a solution my friends!!!!

 Befriend an illegal alien and make sure they don’t leave your side for the next 24 hours.  You can usually find one in the parking lot of a Home Depot in the early morning hours or reporting for housekeeping duties at the home of one of our elected officials.  Stay close to him or her as some of these pieces of space junk are small enough that they will only take out one person.  I plan on carrying mine on my back like a pappoose.  It may be difficult to manuever for a day but  that’s the price you have to pay to protect your rights as an American.  If by chance you and Jose get wiped out by some space junk then your family will be sure to collect because you were collateral damage in our inadvertent attack on a foreign country.

Ya gotta be thinking in today’s world.  Now to put on my football helmet and go for a run!!!