jennifer lawrenceI have an iPhone.  I am not a celebrity.  I also don’t have a picture of my wang in my camera roll.  For the past three days now we have heard from celebrities that are “SHOCKED” that their camera phones were hacked and their nude selfies have been splattered across the internet.  Well let me slap you a dose of reality.  If ya wanna get naked with your better half I’m all for it but if ya don’t want to take the chance that a picture of your venus mound is gonna be on TMZ then don’t take a picture of you in your birthday suit with your smart phone.

Ya ever need to go and get your phone looked at?  You’ve had problems with it for hours and fear the worst but some 17 year old kid with bad skin fixes the problem in thirty seconds.  We all have seen this happen so where is the news when a serious hacker is able to crack the code of a smart phone?

Kate Upton has made millions showing off her massive cleavage and now she is “OUTRAGED” by a nude selfie of her and her boyfriend, Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander, posted on the internet.  If I were Kate I’d be “outraged” as well as there are more curves on the body of her boyfriend.  Put down the camera phone, call room service and order a burger.

Ya notice all the affected celebrities are women?  I guess only politicians are worthy of having their wang being newsworthy.   My other guess is that the female body really is beautiful.  A naked dude looks like he’s breaking the law and let’s be honest about the penis…..not very attractive….kind of resembles a very long thumb minus the nail.

These celebrities are all saying they are “victims” and that is one thing I agree with—victims of not using common sense.

Justin BieberRole models.  When I hear people complain that sports stars and celebrities OWE their fans to be a good role model I cringe.  Sports stars and celebrities live in a privileged word that is not conducive to the real world 99% of us live in.

Justin Bieber is simply a spoiled brat that is in need of a good spanking.  I would want to go backstage just to put this punk over my knee and hit him with my mother’s wooden spoon.   We are to blame, as a society, for creating this monster.  Justin Bieber (for whatever reason) is a pop star.  That’s where it should end.  He shouldn’t be expected to exemplify good morals and good behavior.  He shouldn’t be considered a “peer” among your teenage kids.  The only “role model” a child should have is their parents.  That’s the responsibility you signed up for when you decided to bring a life into this crazy world.

Justin Bieber expects to be treated differently.  He expects you to “kiss the ring.”  He illustrates his gratitude of becoming a multi-millionaire through teenage concert ticket sales by spitting on his fans from a hotel terrace.  I shouldn’t just single out Justin Bieber for the list of pop culture vermin is long and plentiful.  Kim Kardashian became a star because a video tape of Ray J putting his tool in her “no-go hole” went viral.  I’m sorry but if that is what it takes to be a “star” I will pass on the initiation.

I am amazed by those that follow and revere any of the “Real Housewives.”  If ya wanna laugh at them and their sorry existence I can understand that but to praise them and fuel their gold digging mentality really is a sad comment of your own existence.  Let’s call these women what they truly are “Pretentious whores of _________ county”  Would you let your child be baby sat by one of these botox injected skanks?   Probably not.

I think we all were at one time a “know it all” teenager that was embarrassed to be seen in public with our parents.  I also remember something my late father told me in the basement of our home in Strongsville, Ohio:  “You will eventually realize that your mother and father will be the best friends you will ever have.”

Dad…you were right.  I’m just glad you passed before I had to attempt to explain Honey Boo-Boo.

 

 

amanda-bynesIs Amanda Bynes crazy is or is she just freaking brilliant?  I’m starting to think she is crazy like a fox.  There is no such thing as bad publicity—unless ya end up pulling an Aaron Hernandez.  In the past year Amanda has pulled all kinds of stunts that may lead you to think she should reside in a rubber room but she has yet to be in trouble with the law.

It’s no secret that I am looking for a talk radio job—whether that be in topical talk or sports talk.  I’m honestly thinking of getting a blonde wig, wandering around the streets of Buffalo mumbling incoherently and throwing a flower vase outside of my window.  Sadly we live in a society where good news and talent doesn’t necessarily lead to us to rewards.  If I dress up like Sideshow Bob, get on a pogo stick, weave a few baskets out of cooked spaghetti and juggle a few bowling balls on a street corner I’m gonna be able to get my name out there because I know the local TV stations will send out the satellite trucks for a live shot at five.

They say ya gotta be crazy to want to be in radio today—maybe I need to put a stop at the wig store on my “to-do” list for today.

 

Danny Czekalinski does a weekly radio show every Thursday at 10AM EST on MySourceRadio.com.  Click on the DANNYLAND link to access show archives.

At this writing THREE people have now come forward saying John Travolta wanted his male masseuse to give him some extra service.   There is something seriously wrong when anyone can say anything about anyone and there are no repercussions on those filing false claims.   John Travolta has a ton of cash.  If he wants someone to yank and pull on his Barbarino he’s not gonna approach someone he doesn’t know on a cruise.  There is too  much to lose.

One accuser said Travolta allegedly offered him  $12,000 for gay sex.  That is such a random number it further facilitates my belief that this is all a bunch of bullshit.  Where does THAT number come from?  I’ve never been involved in a bidding war for gay sex but I imagine it would be in incriminates of fives and tens.  The only way I see $12,000 being made as an offer is if was a compromise.  Travolta offered ten grand, cabin boy wanted fifteen, so then the next offer would be $12,500.  See…..it’s STILL not twelve grand.

I try to put myself in the position of the masseuse to see how I would handle the situation.  If I’m giving Travolta a deep tissue massage and he rolls over with an erection that would cut through steel and starts lumbering towards me like a bear I exit the scene.  I’m not sticking around to find out how this story ends.  There is no discussion about money.  There isn’t an opportunity for him to ask for a hug.  Start rolling the credits people because I’m not gonna be around when he asks me “Ya wanna know what I mean by Face-Off????”

No go pick on the Kardashians….at least they deserve it.