Entertainment

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shocked personI have stated in the past at how disappointed I am in the world today.  No one is nice anymore.  No one says “please” or “thank you” or holds the door open for the other person.  Something happened today that has stayed with me all day and hopefully will for quite some time.

I had a minor accident on the Harley over the weekend and there was some minor damage done to my pride and joy.  I only take my bike to one place, Nicky D’s, so I rode it there and dropped it off this morning.  Since the shop is six miles from my house I needed to arrange for a ride home so the plan was Mom would drive to get me on her lunch break from work.  To make it easy on mom I told her to meet me at the CVS nearby but this entailed that I walk from Nicky D’s to CVS.  The distance was maybe a quarter of a mile but I was wearing long pants and it was about eighty-two degrees so by the time I got to CVS I looked like a contestant on “The Biggest Loser.”

I found a bench in front of the store, sat down and called mom.  As usual I was early and she told me she would leave work in about a half hour which translates into me sitting in the direct sun for about another forty-five minutes.

I could feel the sunlight hit me directly and make me sweat like Johnny Manziel at last call.  I knew that if a producer for “The Bachelor” walked by I would not be invited to be on the show.  I started to smell like someone who should be behind the wheel of a Yellow Cab.  Then a very strange thing happened that left me stunned and speechless.

An elderly woman, probably early eighties, stopped in front of me and said “Would you like an iced tea I just bought?”  I respectfully declined but was stunned by her offer as it was something I had not seen in such a long time:  unselfishness and kindness.  She didn’t know me.  She didn’t know what I was about yet she put that all aside and was willing to make a sacrifice for someone she didn’t even know.  Isn’t that the way we are supposed to live life on a daily basis?

I may have declined her kind offer of a drink today but what she gave me meant so much more than just a quench of thirst.  She restored my faith in mankind.

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no dating for meMy last relationship ended 10-23-11.  I told myself that day I was gonna go a year without dating.  That time line is now over three years and counting and I really kind of like it.  I used to be very co-dependant.  I couldn’t even keep up with who I was with or who would be next.  I didn’t really “know me” and, quite frankly, I was wasting the time of a lot of really kind and intelligent women.  I needed to find out about me.  What makes me tick?  What are my faults?  How can I improve?

I’m an only child.  Left the house at 18 and got into radio full-time at 21.  I have lived in Wichita, Grand Rapids, Oklahoma City, Kansas City, Cleveland and now West Palm Beach.  I say what’s on my mind and not necessarily what people wanna hear.  I have a 4 bedroom 2 ½ bath house but have not slept in my bed in over three years.  I sleep on the couch and the TV has to be on 24 hours a day.  The only other rooms I use are the kitchen and my office that has three computers.  I have five televisions in the house.  I am a news and sports junkie.   The only alcohol I drink anymore is beer and that only happens twice a week at the most.  I have a Harley Road King Classic that I have invested 42K on.  I don’t own a suit.  I think my mother is the greatest woman I have ever met–although she does know how to drive me nuts.  As I figure out what to do with the rest of my life I exist in my boxers and my boxers alone.

My psychiatrist tells me I am “the most honest patient he has ever met.”  He has been in practice for 28 years.  I’m pretty sure that’s a compliment.  I’m a Libertarian but I don’t like to argue about politics.  Inform yourself about the issues and THEN go and vote.  I have zero tolerance for stupid voters…actually you can expand that to “stupid people.”  I’m not sure about what religion is “right” but I know there is a Supreme Being.  I don’t mind saying “I really don’t like Pat Robertson.”  I don’t have any children and am amazed and impressed by those that do and do it well.  We all make mistakes but it’s truly the way we ever learn.

So back to why I don’t date…..it has forced me to take a look at myself.  I have learned and changed so much in the past three years I only wish I did it sooner….like maybe when I was ten but I was too involved in climbing trees and playing baseball.

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Xmas musicI tell the truth.  Many people tell ya what ya “wanna hear” and I’ll tell ya the truth again….I don’t like those people.  They won’t support you in your time of need, they aren’t truly your friend and they are only in life for their own personal gain and benefit.

During the past couple of weeks some of you have asked “Why do some radio stations switch to all Christmas music weeks before the actual holiday.”  From an industry standpoint I should shut my mouth and not be honest with you but that is not what I am about.  Is it because they are so into the holiday spirit they can’t resist changing the playlist to feature nothing but holiday classics?  Pardon me while I roll on the floor at the absurdity of that claim.  The truth?  To manipulate the ratings system.

Usually the station or stations that make this move aren’t doing well in the ratings.  The switch to all holiday music a month and a half before Xmas increases their listenership, helps them for about 45 days in the ratings, gives them a temporary boost, then the station uses those results to increase their advertising rates afterwards until their ratings drop and return to normal.  Now don’t get me wrong.  From a business standpoint it’s a great idea but if they are telling you the reason is because “it’s time to get into the season” that’s what I refer to as a “Cleveland steamer.”  To further insure maximum revenue in switching to all holiday music the station may also have this feature “sponsored” by a client.  Why?  You guessed it…..all about the almighty dollar.

I hope this clarifies your question and that you all have a wonderful holiday.  Please wait a while before asking me why so many stations like to feature a “Song of the Day.”

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Mass-ConfusionSo Rob O’Neil is the guy that allegedly put a bullet in Osama Bin Laden’s dome and he gave an interview to Fox News and a bunch of people are upset.  Maybe it’s just me but I wanna hear what this guy has to say rather than seeing the latest selfie Kim Kardashian has tweeted of her turn cutters hanging out.

I also wanna know why they dumped his corpse at sea so quickly.  Look….this is the US Government we are talking about.  They aren’t exactly truth mongers with us citizens.  I’m sure we could prop him up and drag him around the US on a mini-tour like “Weekend at Bernies.”   Have him be a guest host on “The Voice.”   Have a “Terrorist Week” on Jeopardy.  Let him drive a cab for a weekend in New York City.  The possibilities are endless.

I illustrate the absurd by being absurd for a reason.  The majority of Americans bitch about the economy and the direction this nation is headed but do they really spend the time studying what is happening with our government or are they more interested in the dilemma of if Bruce Jenner wants a vagina?

92 million Americans are out of the work force….that’s different than unemployment and far more concerning.  It is estimated that five out of ten jobs today will no longer exist in ten years but we all seem to be giddy about landing on a comet.  We can’t find a cure for cancer, ALS, AIDS etc., but we are kicking the tires of a rock a half a billion kilometers away just to find Jason Priestly’s career?

We are soooooo concerned about being politically correct when this country was built on being a melting pot of cultural differences.  Different is good.  It’s the yin to the yang.  It causes one to look at a different opinion and heaven forbid we LEARN from these situations.  I broke my iPhone this week, shattered the screen and the first thing I muttered was “Dumb Pollock.”  I didn’t expect Al Sharpton to show up at my door.  I didn’t print flyers or t-shirts or try and organize a march.  I went out and found a kid with greasy hair, bad skin, and lots of piercings and had him fix it.  I paid for his services with money that has “In God We Trust” on the back of it while many schools have banned the Pledge of Allegiance because it contains “One nation under God.”  If this country was a horse we would put it to sleep.  Wake up America before the day comes because it’s closer than you think.

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broken americaThis Country has become K-Mart—-ya can’t walk down an aisle without finding something broken.  Anyone can walk into the White House.  People are freaking about Ebola when roughly 36,000 die from the flu each year.  The guy that was supervising a Haz-Mat team transporting an infected patient to a departing plane was in a short sleeve shirt carrying a clipboard and HE was in charge.

Over 48 million Americans live in poverty.  No one says “please” or “thank you” any more.  This week some college football players left a tip covered in feces.   Let me break that down for ya; they must have wiped their ass with some currency and left it on the table.   The middle class is evaporating like steam off a hot lunch.  They drug test those looking for jobs but marijuana is legal in two states and medicinally 23 states have made it legal but this country has no problem dishing out Xanax and antidepressants like they are flying out of a broken Pez machine.

This week in Florida the two candidates for governor squared off in their first debate but one wouldn’t come out to start the debate because the other candidate had a fan under his podium.   What is this a Van Halen concert rider?  Get the other guy a freaking fan or if ya can’t find one take the fan away from the one that has it.  The state of Florida is Darwin’s waiting room and we need to focus now more than ever on the issues.  The sad fact is lobbyists control this country.  Getting elected takes money and when you get into office you have to be a fool or in complete denial not to realize those big bucks sway votes.

So many brave men and women served in the military and countless gave their lives while in the line of duty.  We owe it to the veterans to get our shit together and not worry about the size of a soft drink or the logo of a sports team.  Wanna change the name of the team???  Buy the freaking team.  Now my blood pressure is boiling and I don’t have health care because I am part of the record 92 million out of the work force.  The American dream has turned into a nightmare…..better go and take my Xanax.

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jennifer lawrenceI have an iPhone.  I am not a celebrity.  I also don’t have a picture of my wang in my camera roll.  For the past three days now we have heard from celebrities that are “SHOCKED” that their camera phones were hacked and their nude selfies have been splattered across the internet.  Well let me slap you a dose of reality.  If ya wanna get naked with your better half I’m all for it but if ya don’t want to take the chance that a picture of your venus mound is gonna be on TMZ then don’t take a picture of you in your birthday suit with your smart phone.

Ya ever need to go and get your phone looked at?  You’ve had problems with it for hours and fear the worst but some 17 year old kid with bad skin fixes the problem in thirty seconds.  We all have seen this happen so where is the news when a serious hacker is able to crack the code of a smart phone?

Kate Upton has made millions showing off her massive cleavage and now she is “OUTRAGED” by a nude selfie of her and her boyfriend, Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander, posted on the internet.  If I were Kate I’d be “outraged” as well as there are more curves on the body of her boyfriend.  Put down the camera phone, call room service and order a burger.

Ya notice all the affected celebrities are women?  I guess only politicians are worthy of having their wang being newsworthy.   My other guess is that the female body really is beautiful.  A naked dude looks like he’s breaking the law and let’s be honest about the penis…..not very attractive….kind of resembles a very long thumb minus the nail.

These celebrities are all saying they are “victims” and that is one thing I agree with—victims of not using common sense.

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sarah_silverman_emmysI like Sarah Silverman.  Last night at the Emmy’s a TV talking head went through her clutch and yanked out what appeared to be a pen.  Sarah openly admitted it was a vaporizer to smoke pot.  First of all TV talking head has no right to grab someone’s clutch and go through it.  If that’s what you rely upon for entertaining the audience perhaps you need to take your Wen hair back to the library and do some research on guests you may encounter.

If that’s you or I with a vape loaded with weed we go to jail.  Maybe Sarah has a medical marijuana card but the fact she can openly flaunt her vape on the red carpet at the Emmy’s while we spend millions trying to keep this weed from crossing the southern border is hypocrisy at its finest.

I don’t smoke weed.   It is against the law here in Florida and I am looking for a job and I need to respect and honor the law.  I am prescribed Xanax for anxiety and I hate it.  But let’s be honest about the Washington game:  Pharmaceutical companies give big money to the lobbyists…lobbyists control those that get elected or want to get reelected.  I’m not gonna sit here and say I never tried pot; I went to Ohio University and lived in Oklahoma City.  I know what it does and what it feels like but just like my evil blue pill filled with chemicals called Xanax no one on that drug or pot has any business operating a motor vehicle.  The real dilemma here is what is legal in one state is not legal in another and we are supposed to be the United States Of America.  My mother is very wise and I rely on her advice and knowledge and experience more frequently than ever.  I asked her the other day “Have you ever seen it this bad and do you think it can get better?”  Her answer was:  “No and I don’t know.”

Maybe as I get older it’s just natural to care less about how fast Justin Bieber is driving and care more about making a difference.  Many say to live every day like it’s your last but I think we should live every day like it’s our first…..I still believe we, as a group, can fix something that is drastically spinning out of control.

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777The more I see this story on a Malaysian 777 being shot out of the sky by a missile I say “WTF?”  There is more to this “accident.”  We are not being told the entire truth and I understand if it breaches national security but this wasn’t “one of those things.”  There is a plan here and this is one of the elements.

A prominent AIDS scientist who had saved countless lives was on that plane, could he have been the target?  A quick second thought dismisses that theory because I am sure all of his research has been backed up.  Ukrainian rebels had the black boxes for five days…you’re not gonna find anything of use on those that’s for sure.

For something like this to happen there has to be a major reason.  Are we being sucked into a war with Russia?  Think about it….Iran backs Russia…Syria jumps in for support….now you have a direct land to land connection for assault on Israel.  I don’t think we are that dumb to bite the fish hook with the stink bait.  I do have a theory on the missile attack;  it was a diversion.

Three months ago another Malaysian 777 “disappeared.”  I call bullshit on this one,  it was planned.  I think terrorists built a runway long enough to land the 777 one of the remote island s nearby or in an isolated area.  They sole purpose was to convert the plane from what “looks” like a commercial airliner to one that can carry and release a “dirty bomb.”  Missile attack the diversion needed to move the completed “missing” 777.  The rebels aren’t smart enough to operate equipment to shoot down that 777, Russia had to do and/or assist in this. Converted 777 drops dirty bomb on Israel and “bingo” we must get involved.  I’m sure many of you reading this think I’m nuts….that’s okay been called worse.  I’d go on…but the FBI is at my door.

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chicken headI was gonna go to bed but I ran across a story of a voodoo chicken head closing a road here in Florida.  This creates so many questions in my mind I can’t sleep.

Where do you buy this chicken head?  “Just Chickenheads.”  “Everything is a Chickenhead.”  I can’t even imagine what my local butcher would say if I walked in and asked for a full house of chicken heads.

How do you carry this chicken head with you?  Chicken head holster?  In that compartment with a zipper in your purse?  Money clip?  Although I think the chicken head would slip out of the money clip.  Makes for an embarrassing situation at Nordstrom when checking out and the hot blonde behind you, stops, points and says “Is that your chicken head?”

I’m single and live alone.  I have had a crazy life.  I have seen and done many things I don’t recommend.  I can assure you that I have never had a chicken head on my person, in my house or even in my hand.  If someone were to try to hand me one I am confident that I would not pause in my retort; “WTF would I want with that.  It’s a chicken head.”

In this new leaf I have turned over I am trying to see good over the bad, the positive over the negative, etc.  So if chickenheads are your thing have a good time—it could be worse…you could be a beef or fish lover.